I have dated this guy off and on for the past 3 years. He is a lot older than me, I want to have children and he does not want any more. That is really the breaking point to our realtionship. Besides the fact that he does not have his **** together and a place of his own. Things I was willing to accept. We both have been in agreement that our relationship probably just isn't going to work and there is no future. I have dated other people, him not so much. We've agreed that there should be no problem staying friends and in contact. For some reason when I start dating other people he talks to a mutual friend of ours about me constantly, shows up unexpectantly where ever I am and acts like he cares more than when we were together (only normal..right?) When we were together I doubted his feelings for me. He constant;y tells me that "I care for you very deeply, more than you'll ever know" What I am confused about is whether I am being fed a lot of bull or is he for real?
2006-10-12 07:35:42 · 14 answers · asked by Lisa Marie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
been there and done that first of all the relationship has been on and off so that's letting you know that it's really not a stable relationship and for him not to have his **** together yet means he's playing games and he is probably waiting for a woman to take care of him especially if he;s older than you and for him to have children already and a serious relationship at one time with the mother makes you alittle suspicious because he told you he don't want anymore kids so he is not ready to settle down anytime soon sorry and for him to see you go out with other guys makes him crazy because your not a bad woman and yes he's scared someone might take you completely away and take care of you and yes have their **** together and that's what you deserve if he's serious tell him he definantly have to prove it good luck.
2006-10-12 07:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by honey bun 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You want to be a Mother and he doesn't want to be a father again, there is your answer. He may very well love you and you love him but his and your wants in life are different. He still loves you but that doesn't change things, I believe there are many people that fit into a person's life as a life long partner, Some say there is only one true Love but that isn't so. Sometimes they are more compatible than others but it will still work. I would move on and give other guy's a chance, he will find someone more his speed. I would try someone a little closer in age though. I have known two elderly women in my life that made that decision and they regret it. You may be the exception or you may not. Babies are so precious, Me and my Wife had one and he is no longer a baby but I will remember that part of his life forever and that morning smile and that toothless smile and of course the baby laugh. Watching him see something new for the first time and all the great things about being a parent that you will miss and he has already had the opportunity to experience. I see that as not fair and I hope you get a chance to experience. Even if he agreed to do now would be wrong and his love would weaken with you and may grow with the child but it would drive something in between you and him. I would not take this lightly and put some serious thought into. Good luck.
2006-10-12 07:58:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he for real about what? It sounds like you agreed not to pursue a relationship with him because the two of you wanted different things out of life. He cant seem to let go of you and is now stalking you. You need to explain to him that the relationship is over and if he doesnt stay away from you that you will get a restraining order against him. Be very careful of him, this sounds like the beginning of a story that will have a bad ending for you if you let it go or keep toying with his emotions.
2006-10-12 07:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by Allinwiththenuts 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What can it possibly matter to you at this point? You both already agree that you don't see eye to eye on certain key issues. I think it's great that you both have been honest with one another, but if you want to be a mom, & he has told you that he won't be the dad, then what are you worrying about?
It's clear to most people in a similar situation that the sign in the road says, "MOVE ON".
Once you resolve to move on & explore a relationship with someone who can more closely meet your needs, then you probably won't care if this guy is suddenly becomming more attentive.
2006-10-12 07:46:27 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he still cares about you, and that is all and good. But with him showing up unexpectedly all the time, does not sound good even if he says he cares for you more than you'll ever know. It still does not negate the fact that you two have different ideas about family, and that is one area you should be in total agreement on. It sounds like you should let him know you both need to move on. The saying "If you love them let them free..." is very appropriate here. He needs to find that someone who wants the same life he does, and you need to be free from distraction to find that special someone who fits into your life.
2006-10-12 07:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by Rich 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm sorry to say, but i think he "likes" you well enough, but not enough to truly "commit" to:
here's the thing about guys (and girls too...): if they are into someone, they will do WHAT IT TAKES to make that person happy and keep them. that's why a lot of times it seems that all the good men (or women) are "taken", and the single ones are kinda lame =T. a man (or woman), will be Committed, Loving, Caring, Dependable, Supportive, EVERYTHING, if he or she is truly in love, and wants to be with their partner. other than that, they will be lame, bored, mean, stagnant, distant, anything negative.
use your brain, and stop thinking about the past "good times", or what words come out of his mouth that Contradict his actions... obviously he only misses u when he feels that u are going away towards someone else. he wants to keep you on a leash, like a yo yo, so that he feels flattered there is someone out there who Wants him...but when u go to him, he gets bored of the commitment stuff....
good luck, and find someone who doesnt' confuse you. a man who truly wants u will show it.
2006-10-12 07:41:01 · answer #6 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think he is feeding you a lot of bull. there should be no reason for him to be talking about you to other guys. if he cares so much for you either he would be with you or just let you go to find someone new.
2006-10-12 07:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by S 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he wants all the benefits of a wife, but none of the commitment and responsibilities.
2006-10-12 07:39:46 · answer #8 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he is probably for real subconciously it will just take him to completely lose you for him to realize cut him off for a while and then see if he is still the same if he is after a year or so give him a shot
2006-10-12 07:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Basically he wants you to be at his beck & call. He wants to know where you are at all times and not date. He wants you towait around for him and be there when he needs you to be.
2006-10-12 07:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋