Is it wrong to allow my boyfriend to talk with an ex who loves him?

Question

We've been together on and off for two years. While we were broken up, him and one of his really good girl friends stepped up their relationship. They were together a couple of times, then unexpected him and I got back together. He had to tell her and she was crushed, because she fell in love with him. Do I allow him to talk to her as friends?.. Even though it secretly kills me. Not because im jealous, only because I want to be the only special woman in his life.

Answer 1

In a relationship, it's each others responsibility to put the other first and make each other feel secure in the relationship. If you trust him and he makes you feel secure, loved and cherished, there is no harm in letting him talk to her. In addition, put yourself in his shoes and her shoes. If you knew you hurt someone unintentionally, how would you want to be to that person? And how would you want him to respond?

May God's best be yours!

Answer 2

I was in your situation once with a boyfriend. When she would call, he'd always take the call in the other room and always said I had nothing to worry about. So I started leaving when she called. I figured if he needed the privacy - then he could have complete privacy. After me leaving a few times, my boyfriend broke off all contact.

I think guys and girls can be friends, but sometimes you have to follow what your gut tells you. Mine told me to leave - I felt uncomfortable so why stay. This life is too short to be spent in situations that I can control.

Now almost 11 years later, I wish I would have paid attention to these details. I could have made much better choices with spending my time and choosing a companion. Sometimes these relationships aren't worth having - you don't need relationship drama to feel alive and worthy. I wish that I would have spent the time on myself learning and travelling - things that truly make one feel worthy. You are not supposed to feel jealous and unworthy by your partner or anybody you chose to be in your life. Really examine yourself because your youth is fleeting - soon you'll have wasted 5, 6, 7 years on this guy only to find that he doesn't enhance your existence (he's not now and probably doesn't know where to begin because he's tied to another as well as you).

One last thing - if he was sexual with this other girl and you didn't give him at least 3 months to clear himself of her then you are really in for alot of turmoil. All of ya'll are tied together which isn't a pretty picture unless you are bi.

I feel sorry for you, but maybe you'll pick your head up and see things for what they really are. Remember that you don't get just one soulmate - you get many opportunities in this life to connect with someone - some you'll take and some you won't.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry. What that woman has put you through would make anyone hurt and angry and uneasy. I'm not sure how you didn't end up strangling her. I'm obviously not as strong as you are. I think you made the right decision in allowing your boyfriend to make his own decisions instead of giving him limits, but you definitely have the right to not like him being around her. Like you said, regardless of their previous relationship, she was, in essence, responsible for killing your son, regardless of his DNA. I think that would make anyone in their right mind upset. I don't think anyone would want anything to do with her. Short answer: no. You are not wrong. I think your feelings and uneasiness are not only human, but expected. Stay strong.

Answer 4

for starters you both breaking up a few times already, sounds to me like you both are already on shaky ground. why break up a few times in the first place? there obviously were good reasons at the time. did you both get back together out of desperation? its not right for him to have her as a friend. not many people would ever feel comfortable with there partner still spending time with there ex. and the relationships already in dire straits. you both need to talk it out and come to an agreement if you cant then you need to have to try to find someone more compatible. specially while you havent concieved yet to this guy, making even more a terrible situation, with more at stake.

Answer 5

No do not let him talk to her! She likes him so if he tells her everytime you and him get into a fight she is going to try to make you look really bad. Avoid this head ace and possibly heart ace they were together so it will never be just friends anymore. She is now officially an ex girlfriend and when you two broke up she was quick to snatch him . My opinion tell him that its not ok with you for him to talk to her tell him he would not like it if you talk to your ex boyfriend. Goodluck

Answer 6

I would have to say no. Not out of jealousy, but out of common sense. If he's really over her, there would be no need to continue a relationship as " friends". I don't mean not to be friendly if they cross paths in public, but being " friends" sounds like an open invitation to me. He needs to be your friend , not hers.

Answer 7

He's not your child to "allow" him to talk to her. If I was in your situation, I wouldn't want them to talk because she's still in love with him and would probably do anything to break us up. So I wouldn't trust them! Good Luck!

Answer 8

i think that if your secure in your relationship then it really shouldnt matter. I can TTLY see where u r coming from because i felt like this awhile back. but you just need to know that he loves you and that he wouldnt do anything to hurt you....and if he does kik his A## :)

Answer 9

You don't get to 'allow' him to do anything. He's a free man and he can talk to whomever he wants. Maybe you're not jealous, but you're definitely insecure.

Answer 10

tell him you want to be the only special women in his life because you love him.he could talk to his ex as a friend.if she tells you to **** off tell him what his ex told you and he might tell her to *** off