My grandmother is in her 80s, a widow, and one of her friends just died. She keeps saying how lonely she is, even though she has other friends and family in her life daily. She is badgering my single aunt to move in with her and refuses to sell her house, even though she can't keep it up anymore. Worst of all, she is mean and cranky toward us, her loved ones, no matter what we do. Every time we visit, she gives us guilt trips about anything and everything. I know she's unhappy, but what can we do to get the crankiness to stop, and how can we convince her to move into a retirement community?
2006-10-12 06:29:35 · 11 answers · asked by nido_tr3s 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would start by thinking about her health. Are there any signs of Alzheimer's, hearing loss, depression? All of these can affect your day to day functioning and make you appear as though you are trying to be difficult/cranky. If you don't know what is going on (like with hearing loss) it is very frustrating. You may even just give up on trying to communicate effectively with others. It's not easy to admit you can't do something you used to be able to. You also want to make sure you are not missing a true medical problem that could be causing this behavior.
Think about what you would like if you were unhappy. Wouldn't people trying to get you to move somewhere you don't want to go make you cranky? Are any of her other friends already in a retirement community. Most elderly are far more likely to go somewhere where they already know someone.
Are there any community centers for the elderly in her area? That might be a good way to ease her into meeting others who are in the same situation as her. What about a day program so that she is with others during the day at least?
What if you could find someone to come to her house and help her once a week? Would she be able to stay in her house if she had just a little extra help or does she need a lot? This is what we did with my grandmother, she just wasn't going to leave her house, there was too much comfort, too many memories.
2006-10-12 06:47:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why not take grandma out for lunch and to visit a few retirement communities. Let her meet the staff and few of the people that live there. She might have a better outlook on it.
Really the only thing you can do is visit her and offer to help her in anyway you can. The rest is up to her. It's possible she wants assistance but just doesn't want to ask for it.
2006-10-12 06:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by OohLaLa 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-16 03:01:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont mind her being cranky. you see old person like her is very sensitive , always wanted to seek attention from people around her. Once in awhile focus ur attentin to her. Shower her with affection and love . Its her twilight time. Be patient.
2006-10-12 06:40:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and be nice, even if she is always cranky.
Go out with her, talk to her, do nice stuff like that.
Maybe that friend that died was like a sister to her, and that's why she feels lonely.
Maybe then she might want to go somewhere to stay.
2006-10-12 06:54:45 · answer #5 · answered by cass 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is 80 she is gonna be cranky deal with it, be there whant you can, bite your tongue when she is a *****, but in regards to her house and everything,, that's hard,,
2006-10-12 06:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by just wondering 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take her to visit one and see how she shapes up when she sees all the people worse off than she is.
2006-10-12 06:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by super stud 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I fixed my 79 year old mom with a 75 year old man and she hasn't been grumpy since!
2006-10-12 06:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by deb04005 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She is old and cranky, deal with it. At her age she can do and say as she wishes.
2006-10-12 06:32:42 · answer #9 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
think what you expect when u will be 80
2006-10-12 06:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by MU2AH2 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋