How does one gain a more positive attidude/outlook on life?

Question

Lately i have been through alot of drama with people that i thought were my friends and alot of family issues and its hard for me to look forward to work.

It seems like the issues that are personal at home, affects me at work and today i had nearly quit becasue of the issues in my head. I try to talk with my mom about my problems, but she dosent know how to be a mom to me so its kinda depressing not anyone to talk to.

by the way, im 18 years old just so you can get a better idea of whats going on

Answer 1

Wow - that's too bad...I mean about your mother. How well does your employer like you?? Are you a good worker??? Maybe you need to take a few days off and "regroup". Get away from friends and family - go camping/hiking/long drive and think about life and set some goals. We all go through it from time to time no matter what your age is, but it's great to have the guts to be able to ask for assistance. That's the first step.
Remember, too, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Just think about positive things and your goals and where you want to be.
Good Luck!!

Answer 2

A genuine desire for something better than where you're currently at is a great start. Your environment and who you interact with on a daily basis can play an integral part of how you may be feeling. Whilst we can't always control everything in our environment, you can certainly pick your friends and that's a good place to start. Try to surround yourself with positive people. If your 'friends' are negative all the time, then they will all feed off the negative energy and you too will probably be drawn into it almost unknowingly. Conversely, positive people are the best type of people to be around....they're fun, have an idea where they are headed and how they are going to get there, and generally are much less critical. Find them! In short, pick your friends very carefully! Cut adrift the users and losers in your life. Initially, that's not easy to do but putting up with a bad situation doesn't make it any better. In fact, it requires some steely resolve to take the necessary action. Doing nothing is always easier but has greater negative consequences.

The last thing you need at this point is to walk away from your work, as this will potentially provide a possible exit route and funds should you decide the home environment becomes unacceptable. If you think things are bad at the moment then try it without an income! Leaving work due to external reasons seems counter-productive. The key is to deal with the external reasons.

The good part in all of this, is that at 18 you've recognized the need to discuss your problems with someone else. Some people three times your age have never reached this point. You are so very well placed with this recognition. It is a blessing. Sounds like your Mom is not the person to discuss things with, but look around and find someone you can trust and feel comfortable with. If that can't be achieved then what about a counsellor? Either way, a confidante will be of great assistance and help not only in you finding yourself - but their life experience can possibly shed some light in overcoming some of the obstacles you currently face.

If things are not working in your life or if they're making you miserable, then it requires ACTION. Don't fear it. If a change doesn't work out try another. The experiences you learn - good and not so good - along the way are invaluable to your own growth. If we stop growing we die...not physically but spiritually. So in essence any change from a non growing state is in fact a good change!

Well done for having the courage and maturity to put up your hand and ask such a difficult question. Moreso, for recognising you want more out of your life and the ability to overcome current obstacles. Positive outcomes eminate from positive action and change. Change can occur in a nanosecond. It all starts when you want it to. Start today.

Regards, P.

Answer 3

Being 18 is hard to deal with what life can throw at you. You are too old to be a teenager and not old enough or wise enough to handle what life throws at you. But then you know some people never get there either. The Bible says that even if our mother's and father's let us down the Lord will lift us up. You know sometimes we have to give our problems to a power that is higher than our own understanding and accept the help He offers. I would never say to an 18 year old, "what kind of problems could you possibly have at your age?" I know the kinds of problems I had at that age and they were bad. Can you talk with a counselor at school, a counselor at church, possibly a youth leader. Life is wonderful and offers you so much. Don't let anyone blow your light out.

Answer 4

Welcome the the funky reality called adult life.
My mom had 'checked out' before I even got to high school. Since you are already working, it means you are someone who is trying to be self supporting and that is excellent. I recommend living the honorable life and seeking out others who do also. This will bring you the greatest peace and the better friends. I am including the 8 Fold Path as a guide.
The Path

1. * Samma-Ditthi — Complete or Perfect Vision, also translated as right view or understanding. Vision of the nature of reality and the path of transformation.

2. Samma-Sankappa — Perfected Emotion or Aspiration, also translated as right thought or attitude. Liberating emotional intelligence in your life and acting from love and compassion. An informed heart and feeling mind that are free to practice letting go.

3. Samma-Vaca — Perfected or whole Speech. Also called right speech. Clear, truthful, uplifting and non-harmful communication.

4. Samma-Kammanta — Integral Action. Also called right action. An ethical foundation for life based on the principle of non-exploitation of oneself and others. The five precepts.

5. Samma-Ajiva — Proper Livelihood. Also called right livelihood. This is a livelihood based on correct action the ethical principal of non-exploitation. The basis of an Ideal society.

6. Samma-Vayama — Complete or Full Effort, Energy or Vitality. Also called right effort or diligence. Consciously directing our life energy to the transformative path of creative and healing action that fosters wholeness. Conscious evolution.

7. Samma-Sati — Complete or Thorough Awareness. Also called "right mindfulness". Developing awareness, "if you hold yourself dear watch yourself well". Levels of Awareness and mindfulness - of things, oneself, feelings, thought, people and Reality.

8. Samma-Samadhi — Full, Integral or Holistic Samadhi. This is often translated as concentration, meditation, absorption or one-pointedness of mind. None of these translations is adequate. Samadhi literally means to be fixed, absorbed in or established at one point, thus the first level of meaning is concentration when the mind is fixed on a single object. The second level of meaning goes further and represents the establishment, not just of the mind, but also of the whole being in various levels or modes of consciousness and awareness. This is Samadhi in the sense of enlightenment or Buddhahood.

* The word Samma means 'proper', 'whole', 'thorough', 'integral', 'complete', and 'perfect' - related to English 'summit' - It does not necessarily mean 'right', as opposed to 'wrong'. However it is often translated as "right" which can send a less than accurate message. For instance the opposite of 'Right Awareness' is not necessarily 'Wrong Awareness'. It may simply be incomplete. Use of the word 'right' may make for a neat or consistent list of qualities in translations. The down side is that it can give the impression that the Path is a narrow and moralistic approach to the spiritual life. I use variant interpretations so you consider the depth of meanings. What do these things mean in your life right now?

Answer 5

A book that helped me was "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. There are alot of helpful books out there but this one is my favorite. I don't know about your religion but I find strength in God, myself. A good church family can help you through tough times too.
Also if the feelings wont go away,you might want to see a professional. It can be related to depression.

Answer 6

I am now only 17 and I think that I understand you completly. I have had a lot of hard times. But things are looking up, think of tomorrow not today. help those who need it and you will get yours in the end, I did. Just look ahead not back, looking back is what gets you

Answer 7

To gain more of positive aspect on life you first have to look at the negative aspects of others, for example..look at a picture of a starving african, or a video of an iranian woman being stoned to death for 10 minutes. Then look at your own life..is it better or worse?