my best friend(who is also my ex-girlfriend) has recently lost her virginity to this guy she is not dating in the car. After he claimed he wanted to make it special for her. She say she likes him and he "says" he does to. Yet the problem is they have just been having sex and not dating. I have a strong feeling he is not ready for a relationship..He just wants to hit it. She questioned him about the dating situation and he said at first "honestly he doesnt know..The day after, they talked because she was kinda mad at him and she asked him the same question and said"he like where they at right now". This quote itself worries me extremely..I dont know how to tell her he may not be right for her without her thinking im jealous of him and her..what would you do in this situation
2006-10-12 06:00:17 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think I would put myself in the position of being used for sex unless I was doing the using. Your friend is getting used. If a guy clearly wants to bone her, yet doesn't think she is the relationship type then she is just a piece of booty that he can get whenever she wants it. Tell her to stop being naive. If she gets pissed off and it ruins the friendship then your friendship doesn't mean jack to her. Friends should be allowed to tell the honest, blunt truth to their friends without having a falling out.
2006-10-12 06:05:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way of telling her this guy isn't the "right" guy for her... or that he's just using her. YOU are the ex... there is no way to keep yourself out of the equation.
She knows he's just using her... Maybe she's using him too.
Just let the relationship run its course and quite pulling the the strings you have attached to your ex... If you don't want to date her, let her go so she can move on with her life.
You're not one to be judging on the intentions of another man... you don't have good ones either.
2006-10-12 13:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing you can do. Your friend is very nieve and the only way she going to learn, is by finding out that this guy is only after one thing, her self.
Its hard to see a friend hurt and its even harder to see them digging a deeper hole but you cant always protect them. She made a big descion to have sex with this guy so she should be able to see this for what it is.
She will be hurt in the long run but hopefully she'll learn from her mistakes.
2006-10-12 13:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has to be on their own in situations like these, and learn their own lessons. Thats why they say "live and learn" It sounds to me like she likes him and is going to have to figure him out on her own.....if I were you and it sounds like you still crush a little on this girl, and if you ever want her back.. you need to stay out of it UNLESS she comes to you and specifically asks you this question, when she does that; because she will if you are her best friend......honestly answer her with exactly what you think about him without offending her.
2006-10-12 13:08:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, just tell her that this guy is only going to be around until she cuts off the supply. She may get mad at you for it, but it is the truth and you know it... She may even tell you to get lost and accuse you of all kinds of things like wanting to break them up...blah, blah...but she will remember your words and maybe she will cut him off until he gets off the sidelines and then she will see the this guy is just going to move on down the road... You end up right and maybe she comes back to you or maybe not...
2006-10-12 13:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you can see the situation clearly and are concerned, your friend has some emotion invested here and may not want to see the truth. As much as you want to help and protect her, which is commendable, this is something she will have to realize for herself. Be there for her when she needs you, as a true friend would.
2006-10-12 13:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by Jenyfer C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, he's just like most guys. Only after one thing. He got what he wanted and was after so now he has no need for her anymore. He is just trying to prolong the inevitable by not just saying "see ya".
2006-10-12 13:04:03 · answer #7 · answered by Lori 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will be hard for her to take any advice from you considering who you are. (sexless, ex-boyfriend) you are right, she is going to think that you are jealous no matter how you put it. But, I am not one for quietly sitting back and watching my friends get used. I would still speak up. She is probably gonna have to find out for herself but at least you told her. She'll never fault you for that and be there for her when she falls. (and she will)
2006-10-12 13:13:36 · answer #8 · answered by singleagain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are only two options - wait for her to ask you your opionion or wait until she comes to you in tears. Trust she will come running to you in tears because it sounds like he is only in it for the tight you no what. So just be there for her when her walls come crumbling down (as a good friend)
2006-10-12 13:04:05 · answer #9 · answered by FeeLnUFeeLnMe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. He has no plans of ever making her his gf and she will find that out all on her own. Whenever you try to help someone they always think your jealous so let her find out on her own. If she asks you for male advice though, give it honestly.
2006-10-12 13:03:45 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋