do i need help!!!!!?

Question

everytime i have an argument with my boyfriend my anger goes out of control i kick things,hit things,shout,really cry and worse of all harm my boyfriend can someone tell me do i need help and what help i need.

Answer 1

You are quite obviously aware that your behaviour is wrong and unacceptable. You should bear in mind that your boyfriend CAN make a complaint to the police of assault - either common assault or assault occasioning actual bodily harm - you COULD end up spending time in the cells and get a police/criminal record also.

Being aware of the problem is, I believe, half the battle.

I would suggest your first port of call would be your GP. Tell him about this and ask him if he can refer you for some sort of anger management therapy. If it is not available on the NHS, ask him HOW you can find someone to help you.

You cannot continue like this and you will lose your boyfriend if you continue - or worse, he will hit back in self defence (and who could blame him?) and hurt you quite badly. It is to his credit that he has not belted you yet!

Please do seek help and good luck.

Answer 2

This is a self fulfilling prophecy, (you need help). So, maybe you can use this it really helped me. Understand that anger comes from unexpected events. Very simply things happen that you don't expect and this "loss of control" angers you. Live life without expectations, look for the good and forgive the bad. When you feel anger coming on, say out loud or to yourself "this is enough" and leave. Walk away! Detach from the situation, sleep on it and deal with it the next day or two. Things are never as severe after you have had time to think about it. About the physical stuff like kicking etc. Try exercises on a regular basis it keeps your energy well balanced. Martial arts class is fun. Constructive behavior takes some effort. Know also that dealing with your anger will only help your relationships. The relationships that were meant to be, will be. Don't be afraid of losing anybody, you never really "have" anyone anyway. It is all about sharing your life with someone.

Answer 3

I believe you know, in your own mind, that you do need help, otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question here.

If you can be so open with people that you don't know, I would urge you to be brave and go see your GP. Tell him/her what you've told us, and ask if s/he will refer you to see a psychologist. This is a person who deals with 'talking treatments', the kind of thing that others have already referred to as counselling or anger management training.

You have no need to worry about speaking with your GP. It's almost certainly the case that they've already referred other patients on for similar things.

I wish you the very best of luck.

Answer 4

You can help yourself if you want to enough. Go to Amazon.co.uk (assuming you're in the UK or Ireland) - search under "books" & "anger". You'll find a list of useful self-help books on this topic. You can look at the customer reviews to get a better idea of what's suitable for you. "Taking charge of Anger" by W.Robert Nay is one that I've heard recommended as being very practical. Just think, by this time next week you could already be taking control of your anger - for around a tenner..

Answer 5

Yes, get help, or one of these days he might leave you. Try anger management and/or talking therapies - you can also search for the root of the anger in yourself. Is it just him that you get angry at, or is it in any confrontational situation. What was your relationship like with previous friends/boyfriends and is this one the same. Admitting you have issues is always the first step, now you just need to go out there and get some help. Good Luck with it.

Answer 6

The first step to a solution is recognising you HAVE a problem. Well done !!! Now you realise that this behaviour is not right, you will be able to accept help. See your GP and ask for Cognitive behaviour sessions. These can be on NHS, if your GP makes a recommendation. You talk through your feelings with a counsellor and soon you will find your urge to be quite so voletile melts away............in time. Good Luck !!! Your boyfriend deserves a loving partner.

Answer 7

looks like you may need an anger management course your doctor should be able to point you in the right direction. Maybe also some counselling? to maybe find a reason for your anger and enable hopefully to better control it. Finally remember we are responsible for our own behaviour. I hope this does not sound patronising. I wish you all the best take care

Answer 8

sounds like you need to learn to deal with your anger! What do you argue about, big issues or not so big? Anger can sometimes be hiding depression! Are you happy with b/f? You may need some form of counselling or perhaps both of you need to go? Need more detail really. The good thing is that you recognise it and you know its not normal, get some help and hope you feel more relaxed soon.

Answer 9

You need to have anger management lessons! But I believe you need to find out the core of the problem, why do you lose your temper so easily, what is it that makes you so angry? what does he do when you hit him? how was your past relationships?

Too many people find it funny when it's a woman hitting a man, but if it was the other way around we would be screaming and shouting! It is good that you are realising you have a problem that needs to be addressed

Answer 10

It depends... It sounds as if your behaviour is maladaptive and possibly dangerous. Potentially your boyfriend could have you arrested for assault.

This behaviour could be related to a mental illness, but I doubt it. It is more likely that you have picked up this reaction from someone else, or in response to a hidden stress or anger.

If you really want to change, there is certainly help available in the form of anger management classes and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). They will only work if you are MOTIVATED! Contact your local branch of MIND (a mental health charity) to see if they have details of any classes near you. A good book about CBT is 'Mind Over Mood'.

Good luck.