My male best friend and I have been best friends for like 6 years since we were 15 and we're as close as it gets,like brother and sister and it's driving my bf nuts.What do I do?
2006-10-12 05:46:31 · 32 answers · asked by Veronica B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you explain to him that his jealousy is really going to ruin your relationship. he should not have a problem with your male friend, and the fact that he does means that he is insecure, and unsure of how you feel towards him. explain that you want him as a boyfriend and your friend is just that-- a friend. tell him seriously, that the jealousy will make you walk away from the relationship.... if he gets it then great, but if he doesn't, it may be time for you to find a new boyfriend... jealous boyfriends arent cool.
2006-10-12 05:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Lin B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A. Your BF needs to grow up. Jealousy is always a sign of insecurity. If you have never given him any reason doubt you, then he shouldn't.
B. You need to to talk to your best friend and explain the situation. If you two were always together and talking to all hours of the night, that must change. That shows disrespect to your bf.
C. Friends come and gom, so do boyfriends. If you can't compromise the two, then you must choose. Because you will either love your bf enough to work on a seriuos relationship and all that entails (including eventual marriage) thus putting your friend in the back burner or you love your best friend more which means, outside of him, you will never have a real relationship with a man.
2006-10-12 05:55:31 · answer #2 · answered by coasterbuff99 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's natural that your boyfriend is jealous. he has competition! U wrote yourself "we are as close as it gets". well maybe your boyfriend would like u to be closer to him then to your friend. i dont know the situation from the inside, but its possible that it is not you having a male friend, but your attitude in that issue that makes your boyfriend jelaous. if thats the case, maybe u should change your line in this matter. respect his insecurity, we all have some, don't we? do not blame him for his feelings under no circumstance. the point is to ease each others fears. if u find no way to make him feel safer, u will have to choose. u ll have to know whats more important. i personally think that sooner or later, even with another boyfriend, this issue will come up again if u keep having such a close relationship to your friend, not to mention that eventually his girlfriends will have a problem too. i think in time there will be more distance between u two anyway. friends are very important, but partners even more as we grow up. so decide if u ll do something about it now, considering if your boyfriend is worth it, if he is also giving and respectfull to you, or if for now, u ll hold on to your friendship the way it is.
PS. Did u ever try walking in your boyfriends shoes?
2006-10-12 06:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by Zoe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're treating your bf like you're treating your best friend, then your bf will obviously feel like you're playing with his feelings. However, you need to prove that you're being loyal to your bf and that your best friend doesn't get certain "exclusive privileges" that your bf gets. Of course, you shouldn't terminate your friendship with your best friend because your bf is getting jealous. Your best friend was always around way before you met your bf and he hasn't done anything so wrong that you would end up losing his trust.
Somehow your bf has to know that you really care about him and that you would never do anything to lose his trust. Commenting something like this to a friend of your bf in a convenient time would do the trick, since your bf's friend would tell him about what you've said about your relationship with your bf. If your best friend does something like grabs your hands in a distinct way or starts to flirt a bit with you, then you MUST become more assertive and put him in his place--regardless of who is watching.
2006-10-12 05:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by Tony Walls 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Choose... You will have to make a choice... Either your BF or your friend. It sounds like your boyfriend can not deal with the close relationship you have with this guy and at least he is honest enough to tell you and make it known to you. Not you need to either tell him that you are not going to sacrifice your friendship with your friend and since it is such an issue to him that you need to break it off with him because you do not want the problems it is causing. Or you need to tell your friend that this guy is the real deal and it is causing problems with you and your b/f and you need to cool it with your friendship. Make the choice, but I would recommend, keep the friend and dump the b/f, because chances are he will be jealous of every guy you ever become friends with all your life...
2006-10-12 05:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brothers and sister dont hang out together that much......so get your own priorities right and quit hanging with the dude. Very few men have best gfs unless they want more gfs or sex from the ex...because their gfs wouldnt allow it either.
You are hanging onto old sad sack because you are scared of being totally with one guy. If the new beau means more to you than old faithful...you will let go and never see him without new beau....because it wouldnt seem right.
Partners are just that....friends with ALL mates of each other. So if you dont include you partner.....in the old friendship...it means you are still in a holding pattern or still looking. Thats ok if you are...but not ok if you arent.
2006-10-12 05:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by Scully 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont choose. Tell your bf that thats just the way it is and you can all hang out together if it bothers him that much. Im not saying that friends come before lovers, but Dont lose your close friends cause hes jealous. There is no need of that! Good luck!
2006-10-12 05:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by BOOTS! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why it is driving him nuts? Your bf must know that you love them both in very different ways. He must know that you will not cheat on him with your male best friend..your bf must be sure of it. But also you must show more attention to your bf if you are not. Or if you are showing more attention to your male best freind.
2006-10-12 05:52:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that there's nothing to be worried about and try not to accuse him of being jealous. In fact, why don't you, your bf, and your guy friend do something together? Like miniature golf, movies, pizza, or all three?
2006-10-12 05:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boyfriends before friends....I agree with steck.. Guys who have female best friends or friends and guys who have female friends while dating someone usually leads to disaster because the friends get jealous and try to sleep with you and break you and your partner up. Screw em all who needs friends.. If you think that your bf/gf may be the one, put all affections and attention to your partner no one else. Put some distance between you and your friends.
2006-10-12 05:49:09 · answer #10 · answered by Clints_wench 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋