I am a white man who has been happily married for 4 years. I decided to suprise my wife by doing some housework, so I washed all the clothes, folded them, and put them away. In the process, I found a large black dildo in my wife's dresser drawer. I have not confronted her yet because I want to calm down and think. Does this mean that I am not satisfying her? Does the fact that it is black mean that she is bored or hungry for something different? Can you help me undertstand? I don't want sympathy...just raw honesty.
2006-10-12 05:25:49 · 29 answers · asked by JJ J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
99% of woman masterbate...I think it is the size she prefers not the color...you could help her (clitoral stimulation) while she masterbates...should also give you peace of mind to know she's not going somewhere else.
2006-10-12 05:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by sadie_oyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It honestly most likely has nothing to do with you. She may need satisfaction at times where you are not around and that is her way of remaining faithful to you. Also it seems like you think the color has some importance to you and I really believe it does not. Don't worry about it be glad that when your not around she relies on that and not another man. I know I am satisfied by my boyfriend sexually but still use a vibrator when he is not there. Hey if you come to accept it, you guys can spice up your sex life. You can use it on her while doing her from behind for example. No worries though!
2006-10-12 05:31:20 · answer #2 · answered by *Amanda* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silly, I do not think that this means that she wants to have sex with a black man. Alot of women have dildos that are weird colors, like purple and rainbow color. I don't necessarily think that means that she wants to have sex with a purple people eater!
You should communicate her sexual needs. Ask her if there is anything you can do to get her off, that way she doesn't have to go and use the dildo. Hell, why not bring the dildo into your sex life? I think what you guys need is to spice up your life. If she is continuously using the dildo, that could mean that she isn't sexually satisfied with just having sex. Do you guys do it the same way everytime? Maybe she needs more stimulation during sex to have an orgasm. How about you both go to a sex store and buy things that will help her achieve orgasm as well? A lot of women masturbate, sometimes it could be that you are distant or she just wants to get it over with. Orgasms do relieve stress. :D
Communication is key to a good sex life. As I said, spice it up. Let her use it on herself and watch her get off, if she is into that sort of thing. Do things for her, not just for you. And if you are really afraid that she wants to have sex with another man, communicate your feelings to her.
2006-10-12 05:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are thinking too much. The fact that the dildo is black means nothing. It was just her choice of colour. Would you ask the same question if she was wearing a black shirt??
Come on man, lots of married women have them these days. You are married and I am sure you use your hands.
2006-10-12 05:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by Webballs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JJ luv,
I wouldn't worry nor just to conclusions... To be honest, I consider it very normal and quite natural for any (and ALL) women to have dildos... It's not necessarly for the fact you may not be satisfying her, but rather, in my case, it just enhances solo masturbation. Plus my hubby himself loves sex toys and he's the one who introduced me to the pleasures of a plastic friend...
THe color may not mean anything either, as some certain types of dildos are only available in one specific color. It sould be fun if the manufacturers would in fact make their models available in various colors.
In retrospect, I wouldn't freak out about it yet. First, let's see if she says anything about you going thru her things "by accident" since you were originally just folding and placing clothes in their place. If she mentions it, then fine, I guess she's ready to discuss this with you. If you want to confront her yourself, make sure you approach it with finesse and tact because she may reasct like you are invading her privacy.
Honestly, I doubt she'll say anything about you not being man enough or anything in that vein. Like I said, alot more women have their own sex toys (dildo, egg, benwah balls, whatever) than they admit, so it isn't uncommon, and is in fact very normal; part of today's world!
2006-10-12 05:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by ButtahChick (ButterChick) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, don't get all worked up. Sometimes, we just like to have sex. Toys are a fast, fun & easy way to do so. Maybe she thinks you would react bad if she broached the subject (almost sounds like you did). As someone who has toys & uses them, I'll bet she would love for you & her to play together. OH, and the color means nothing necessarily. I have flesh colored, pink, purple, black. She probably picked it out for other features like size, realism, price. It may have even been a gift. Just tell her what you found & ask her if she is interested and let her know it is OK with you.
2006-10-12 05:29:49 · answer #6 · answered by laneydoll 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might not be that you are not satisfying her or that she wants a black man, so women just like dildo's and usually the biggest one you can get is black. Ask her if she wants to bring into your sex life, it could spark things up some. Just calmly ask her about it, don't make accusations or assumptions.
2006-10-12 05:28:56 · answer #7 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, dildos come in ALL colors so don't the fact that its black worry you. Dildos are not to replace men they are to satisfy women PERIOD. Plenty of couples use toys in their relationship. A dildo just lets a woman enjoy herself WITH or WITHOUT you.
2006-10-12 05:29:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well-not to be graphic but- black dildoes happent o be thicker and longer than the white ones. That's probably why she bought that certain color. Don't be intimidated by a toy. In fact it's kinda hot if you integrate that in your intimacy it spices things up. Don't confron her- that will make you seem like you're jealous of it. Thank god it's a fake one and not a real one.
2006-10-12 05:29:14 · answer #9 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could be looking to spice things up for both of you in the bedroom, the colour doesn't really mean anything, it could be just what that model came in. You could always try bringing it out when you make love and use it with her every so often, call it a marital aid, you may find you enjoy the benefits of it.
2006-10-12 05:31:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, try this one on (figuratively, of course).
If you know you're going to get some on a given night, get the toy out and stash it between the matresses. Go down on her for a minute, and get the toy while you're under the covers. Come up, like you're about ready to give it to her, and instead, use the toy. If she says ' ooh, Leroy ' then you've got troubles..
2006-10-12 05:32:06 · answer #11 · answered by thatoneguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋