Do you believe in spanking your kids?

Answer 1

I think it's important to focus on other methods of behavior modifacation and maximise positive reinforcement, however sometimes I think there's a point when a mild spanking is aapropriate. When spanking is the most common method used by a parent it does not actually deter the behavior it simply teaches the child avoidence. They work harder at trying to hide what they have done and placing blame on other(especially if they have siblings), lying may become a very popular avoidance technique for them. If spanking is used as a last resort after trying other more positive methods of discipline children are better able to understand why something is wrong and are more likely not to do it in the future. No matter what, with younger children you must use your method consitantly and it will take many repetitions before they begin to modify their behavior. Making positive comments at good behavior and giving minimal attention to bad behavior is generally the best method for younger children since what they usually seek is attention. If they get positive attention when they are good and not much attention when they are bad they will gravitate towards the things that won them the most attention. This doesn't mean you should ignore bad behavior just stay calm and deal with it in a minimal way. Talk to them calmly about what they did and why it's wrong. There is, in my opioin a place for spanking as well. When a situation can be dangerous (like running into the street) and the child contuinually does not respond to other methods then it's time for a mild spanking. With my own children the other methods usually work so a spanking is not neccessary but there are occassions where the other methods are not enough. For example, the other day my three year old was supposedly playing with her toys in her room, I went to the kitchen to make lunch. I verbally kept track of her asking her "are you playing toys?", "what do you want for lunch?", "do you need to sit on the potty?", etc... I came back to the room after making lunch to find she had made a poop, taken it out of her underware and wiped it all over the walls, the floor, her toys, the bed and worst of all... all over her younger brother. Suffice it to say I felt the other methods were not appropriate since we have already had the "where do the poo-poo's go?" discussion several times. I spanked her and made her clean it all up by herself(with supervision). On the last two occassions when she has done something similar I have simply talked to her and let her know that's not something big girls do and then I made her help me clean up the mess. This time I spanked her and then made her wipe the walls down after spraying them with cleaner and then I made her mop the floor by herself as well. I don't think that spanking is completely wrong but I think it's important to use them in moderation and to remember that they are only kids so we shouldn't hit them hard when we do spank them. I always feel bad about having to do it but I would feel worse if I let my children get away with innapropriate behavior.

Answer 2

I know people strongly disagree on this subject. I am a parent who spanks--but no one can tell me I don't love them a bunch. I know there are good arguments for not spanking. But I will tell why I do--and it is precisely because I do love them.

Althought some people think I am oversimplistic--I think there is way too little spanking--and I believe it is an important component of raising and instilling discipline in children.Although this is a stupid analogy--a paddle does a good job of keeping the boat headed in the right direction.

Although I was spanked as a kid I was convinced in college that it was inappropriate. So I did not at first spank when I had my own kids. To make a long story short--in the course of being a Mom I changed my tune and decided my parents were not so dumb and old fashioned after all.

I know that anectodal stories are not very useful--but that is the major reason I spank--it works for me. I also think it is fairer and less mean than punishments like time outs and groundings. A spanking gets the punishment over and the air is cleared. The other things drag the thing out. I don't want to be a parental jailer. With younger kids I think the whole point of why they are being punsihed is lost. With older kids it is no more of an effective punishment and inspiration to strive for better behavior than jailing adults is.


I think if more parents would spank--and do it correctly--they would be very surprprised by the results they get. And I don't mean for every little thing but not just as a last resort either. The real key to making it work is consistency.

I should also mention all the research that has been done on this subject showing it is bad. These are all statistically flawed. Infact to the surprise of one researchers who surveyed all the research--he found it to be the most effective method of getting children to comply with the wishes of their parents. If you are interested in seeing details on these studies there is a blog entry buried on my blog called "A Critique of the Anti-Spanking Research."

There is a reason parents have been spanking since time immemorial. The anti-spanking movement is very new. And like a lot of new untested ideas I am convinced it is wrong

Answer 3

I do believe in giving spankings, not beatings like some dumb parents do. A whop or two on the rear after 2 warnings is fair. And for all you people say it encourages hittng, I was spanked as a child and if I dared to raise a hand back I got it again and I learned quickly that Mom and Dad use spanking as an effective method of dicipline. My parents love me very much and they never gave me more than 2 swats the rear and I am perfectly healthy and normal. Think of it this way, if your child stick shis finger in a light socket and gets shocked (and that hurts) do you think they'll do it again? No, I think not. Spanking tells them that if you do this again this is what happens. And I also believe telling them why they were spanked. If my son has been told don't throw in the house more than twice then I will tell him "you are getting a spanking because you didn't listen to Mommy when I told you not to throw in the house" and then he will be spanked. I only use spanking when necessary and I also don't believe spanking your child in front of others.

Answer 4

Nothing wrong with a swift swat to a kids rear end! All these people who believe that spanking makes kids violent are nut jobs! I was spanked- HARD and a lot and I'm the farthest thing from being violent.

Time outs may work for some kids but there are many that need their butts popped.

Answer 5

Yes, I plan on spanking my son when he has done something very bad that warrants a spanking or when he does not listen. I think that spanking is ok as long as you don't hit too hard. I spank my dog and now just me raising a hand to her lets her know that she needs to stop it, so I don't really have to spank her anymore. Kids need discipline and things like time outs don't get the point across about major issues.

Answer 6

I believe a good whap on the rear will not hurt them, as long as they know why they are getting it. However I have only had to spank my kids a few times when they were littler. Now I just give them the look and they are only 14, 12 and 10.

Answer 7

Yes. I was spanked as a child, and I think I am an OK person. I got spanked for major things, and had possessions taken away from me for smaller offenses. I believe a good popping on my kid's fanny won't ruin their childhood. It will remind them who's still in charge- the PARENTS.

Answer 8

Yes!! My husband tells me that it's pointless, because I don't do it hard enough. Yet, all I have to do is ask them if they want a spanking or look at them and they stop. I don't let my husband spank them though, he did it once to our 11 yr old and I felt as if it went beyond a simple spanking. To me 1-4 pops on the butt (depends on why they got in trouble how many pops I give) is sufficient. The spanking (to me) isn't meant to really hurt-it's meant to tell a child "no-that's wrong". Don't get me wrong, the pops hurt a little, but not to the point their butts hurt for a couple of hours.

Answer 9

I tried not cutting my kids butt for two years. I tried that time out thing. Man, they came out of time out doing the same thing again. So, I went back to the old school way. Spanking that @ss! I have no more problems and they know when mama says stop,they stop. They use to try an act up in the store, I think that's the spot for all kids. I showed them that a pop can come from anywhere. I have no more problems in the store, church, or anywhere. They still get time out, that only after I pop because I don't want to hear the noise. You have to rise them before they try and rule you. Time out isn't for everything and talk to sometimes is in one ear and out the other.If they did something bad as knocking things down in the store, pop them one good time they will stop.

Answer 10

Yes,
Not just a modern day swat or 2 either. We are very old fashioned when it comes to this. All my girls know what is expected of them. If they break one of our core rules, pants go down, they go over our laps. We don't believe in leaving marks such as bruises, welts, blisters... but a bright red bottom never hurt anyone. I wish this style of spanking would return to the home. People will find they will do much less spanking if they do it this way.