Almost every week my girlfriend will tell me about some guy that offered to take her away (Vegas, NY, some beach place) for the weekend. She was very much involved in the "fabulous" life before me. I just got done taking her away to Palm Springs for the weekend for her birthday (spending way more than I could afford, but I did it because I wanted to take her somewhere nice). I treat her really well. These guys are obviously rich and can afford to take her to these kinds of places. When I ask her why guys are asking to take her away she tells me, "because they want to **** me." She then proceeds to tell me that she loves only me. I feel confident in our relationship but am a little insecure that she may miss the fabulous life and this is her subconcious way of telling me. It makes me feel like crap. I've told her and she says that she'll stop mentioning it. But that almost makes me more nervous. Is this relationship doomed?
2006-10-12 05:14:14 · 23 answers · asked by BennyBoy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
shes probably trying to keep you on your toes and letting you know if you don't treat her right she can shack up with another at the drop of a hat
2006-10-12 05:18:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Okay, hold on. Let's examine the scenario with the assumption that this is the right girl for you. That offers these possibilities:
- She is telling you about these boys because she wants to be up-front and honest with you. This possibility can be easily checked for plausibility by examining her other behaviours. Does she usually say what's on her mind, even if it sometimes comes out "wrong"?
- She's afraid that if she *doesn't* tell you, then you're going to find out some other way and come to a false conclusion, misconstruing her silence for co-conspiracy rather than a desire to keep you from worrying needlessly.
Why is it plausible to assume that her intentions are good?
- She is very aware of the fact that the boys offering to treat her well are only out for sex, while you offer love.
- She has offered to stop mentioning these propositions out of consideration for your feelings (because you asked her to).
- She hasn't taken any of them up on their offers.
It sounds like you have a couple of trust issues, and a handful of self-image issues (you are comparing yourself to these guys despite the fact that they are NOT competition because she is NOT considering taking them up on their offers - trust me, she would have by now if she were). I recommend you figure out for sure whether you'd be happier if she told you about these guys or whether she kept quiet. If there are any other little things she can do that would make you feel better, propose them to her - maybe if she has to go away by herself, and she doesn't already, have her call you as soon as she gets to her destination. Maybe try to schedule times to talk on the phone each evening she's away, too. As long as they're not unreasonable demands on her, she should be willing to do at least half of them to help put your mind at ease.
2006-10-12 05:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by Katie S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's all approximately believe and self belief here. some adult men proceed to bypass out and have their way of exciting, others cool down. If i'm getting it precise you need him to bypass out, in basic terms not with this buddy and to bars. the shown fact that his pal supposedly cheats on his spouse does not propose your boyfriend does the comparable. there is too lots unattachment on your dating tou your liking i assume. you do not stay jointly, so there's no dedication. each it is effortless to do despite he/she likes. subject is, he does that to a a ways better point than you do. Then his pal could be taking him to a good greater one. and you have not any clue what to do approximately it. you may prefer to have extra risk-free practices, extra desirable than he desires to furnish. If he's an stunning guy on all the different matters, i could say permit him have his exciting. If not, as much as you, yet getting disillusioned each time he's out having exciting isn't a thank you to bypass. those opposites in thoughts do not make issues lots extra handy. he will experience tied down at his age. A 25 365 days old will according to probability pay attention and alter, a 40-365 days old.......do not think of so.
2016-10-16 02:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girl is insecure and self-centered. She feels that she has to test you. She wants attention. I'm willing to bet that not all of what she says is true. If she expects the "fabulous" life and you can't provide it affordably, you should lose her. I have a feeling the loss wouldn't be that great.
2006-10-12 05:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by Redhead 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she wants to be a gold digger, and she may be trying to make you jealous, and she's probably flirting with these guys even before they "hit on her". I guess her way of interpeting if a guy has feelings for her is it he spends the big bucks on whatever she wants and wants to do. My advice is to find someone that is less materialistic, more down to earth, and has fun with YOU no matter what you guys do together.
2006-10-12 05:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by Goodbye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you might right in your guess that she "misses the high life" and this is her way of hinting at that to you. however, if you're doing your best to treat her really well, then it's inconsiderate of her to do this to you, it's almost as if part of her resents you for not having as much $ as some of these guys that hit on her, and it doesn't sound all that "subconscious" on her part
despite what you say it doesn't sound as though you're that confident in your relationship. sorry to be negative, just my opinion
2006-10-12 05:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by daedalus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can either afford her or you can't. She sounds like a gold diggin hoochie if you ask me. If she tells you all this, she's not respecting you or your relationship and in the end she'll probably leave you after she has leached you dry anyway. Get out while you are ahead.
2006-10-12 05:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by Eldude 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I doubt men are randomly approaching her with propositions. It is more likely that she is flirtacious with them, consciously or subconsciously. She may claim she is just being "nice", but there is a difference between nice and flirtacious. In addition to merely not telling you about the offers, she needs to not implicitly solicit such offers via her behaviors toward men.
2006-10-12 05:18:39 · answer #8 · answered by Tulsa Boy 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She is terribly insecure. Also, she is being cruel if this is true, and lying if it isn't. Either way, she keeps telling you these things because she likes to see how upset it makes you. That is sick. Run don't walk away from this head case.
2006-10-15 11:52:19 · answer #9 · answered by Julie H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it looks nice and comfy from first glance, but she seems to miss the "fab" life if u'd call it. personally, i'd call it something else, but i won't be rude here...and u may get offended. yet she doesnt mind offending u by saying they wanna screw her
right, anyway, perhaps u need to play the same game with her. let her know of ppl who are flirting with you. go out and flirt with ppl more. let her know, you have many options available, and then let her get jealous a little. but exercise caution with the balance though. just enough to hit her buttons, not piss her off.
2006-10-12 05:30:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your GF sounds like a stuck up east coast b**ch.
I don't think you relationship is doomed, however. Often times women love advances like this because they help their self-esteem.
2006-10-12 05:25:42 · answer #11 · answered by midwestbruin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋