im getting married next week and any one who has not got autism wouldnt undestand well prehaps some people would but some will think im stupid but im meant to be changing my name but i just can not do it i keep panicking about it and when i tell anybody they think im silly and pathetic i dont know what to do anymore i feel trapped and a change like that is to big for me and coping with a wedding to and all the social situation at the reception etc im so panicky some1 please help !!
2006-10-12 05:04:33 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
No, you mustn't worry. Many women keep their last name even after the marriage!!!
Just tell your husband honestly with kind manner, and ask him for the understanding. Many men would agree with it.
One more advice. I think the panic on your name change is just another side effect of your mental issue. Why don't you visit a counselor and discuss about your worries? This will actually help you manage yourself better.
Happy marriage!
2006-10-12 05:19:28 · answer #1 · answered by davegesprek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not autistic but I help with many people who are. When you or really anyone is already set themselves into a routine and something happens that happens (good or bad) it can totally interfere with your thoughts and make you feel trapped, depressed, anxious, etc. If I were you I would only do what you can handle at a time until you are ready for another minor change. Get married, but don't change your name until you are ready. If your husband to be loves you enough he will understand. But be sure to express your feelings and talk to him. Remember trust in a relationship makes it a relationship, without trust it slowly demolishes. Don't make him wonder why you need this time after marriage to change your name when you are ready. Just let him know. best of luck.....
2006-10-12 05:16:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have we just travelled back to the 50s? Last I heard, it was a fair option for a woman to keep her name. You don't need excuses or explainations. If they think that's silly, so be it!
What does your future husband think? If he's OK with you keeping your name, then just say "My future hubby doesn't mind. Why should you?"
(Please use periods. It's harder to read without knowing when one sentence ends & the other begins.)
2006-10-12 05:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by Smart Kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't required to change your name and, to be brutally honest, it's a major pain and lots of work.
If you do decide to change your name, it can be done at a later date and not immediately after the ceremony if I remember correctly. You can check with your local courthouse on that to be sure.
Don't panic, you'll be fine.
Have a happy life, whatever name you decide to use.
2006-10-12 05:22:23 · answer #4 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are getting married does not mean you have to change your name. Many women keep their maiden names when they marry or use a hyphen example Mary Smith- Jones
2006-10-12 05:15:24 · answer #5 · answered by nana_viki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you cant help this as its one of the traits of autism is to have consistency and change is often upsetting to someone with autism explain this to your husband to be.
you don't have to have your name changed you can be married and still keep your maiden name i know someone who has done this or he can change his name to yours
its not a legal requirement to take on your husbands name
2006-10-12 05:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋