How do you get past the Anger and the "Why Me?" stages of chronic illness?

Question

I know there are still many people out there who do not consider mental illness a medical disease, but I am here to tell you that, yes, it is, so get over it and don't bring those opinions into this, they don't help.

Having said that, I wonder how many people out there with chronic illnesses such as diabetes, asthma, and metal ilnesses have worked past being angry and asking "why me?"

I am personally just entering this stage and I don't like it. I don't like feeling angry all the time. My official diagnosis is Major Depression, and I have long ago confronted the idea of having a mental illness. However, I have only just started to face the whole concept of it never going away.

Any advice?

I have been in therapy since 2000 and on meds for the past couple of years.

Answer 1

Partly it just takes time to accept that there's no reason, it just is what it is and it's a regular life challenge that you have. Yeh, other people don't have this one, but a lot of them have something else. It's like accepting death or any other major negative - denial, anger... are phases towards acceptance. It'd be a lot easier if depression wasn't so misunderstood and mental illnesses weren't so stigmatized.

Working with a therapist helps a lot, and finding the right meds that add back a more natural feeling are really important. I'm getting to where I accept that this is just a part of my life that I have to deal with responsibly. Am still on the med merry-go-round trying to find what works best, tho. So, frustration and anger about it are still things I'm working through. And, yeh, accepting that it's a forever thing and meds will probably always be part of my life is a tough one to swalow, but that's just the way it is. It's part of who I am and it's part of what makes me unique, not less than others or deficient - which is sometimes more of a challenge to appreciate than at others, but it really is true for me and it's true for you, too.

Answer 2

I have severe depression (diagnosed). If you think about it in such a negative way all the time, you will live a negative life. You don't want that do you? I hate being depressed so i change my depression into sleep mode. I sleep when I get depressed. It keeps me pretty mellow. There are many ways you can train your body to accept what is happening to you. I am learning some now. I have been in counceling all my life and have been seeing the same councoler for the past 5 years. Maybe you should look into talking to someone as well. Not necessarily a councoler but just anyone that can help you through your difficult time. You can further reach me if you would like to talk more about it. I have a ton of info on depression. [e-mail] Hope you get what you need from this answer and I hope your suffering ends soon. Remember think positive. Peace!

Answer 3

Thinking about it, I never asked that. In 1982, my co-driver caught the edge of a 20 foot dropped off along highway 395 in the Mohave desert in California. The semi truck went over and when everything was done, I woke up 5 years away, with everything broken on my right side. We were 60 miles from the nearest city. It took years to return to trucking.

In 1988, my wife took an exit too fast and rolled the truck. I was left hanging upside down, with electric wires rapped around my right leg and my left leg back behind me. I hung like that for 90 minutes. I had internal injuries and a destroy vein in my leg. The hospital didn't diagnose the problem in my leg, or the fact that I had a broken shoulder joint, sending me back home to Kansas City, three weeks later. Four days later, the blood flow in my leg stopped. I've been in the hospital some 30 times since then due to infections in the leg.

In 1998, I caught a resistant form of Strept Throat, which got into my blood stream and went to my heart. I ran a 105.5 temp for two weeks and was on life support for six weeks. I woke not knowing who I was, how to talk, walk, move my hands, or anything. It was two months before I began to even realize that I was awake.

After the wreck in 1982, I became a florist. After 1988, I started working with divorced and single fathers, creating an educational manual that improved the lives of thousands of fathers and their children. I gave it away rather than selling it.

After 1998, it was the most difficult, as I lost my three bedroom house and had to move into a one-bedroom apartment in a building for the handicap and elderly. I only just moved out of it this last June. I had to relearn to do everything, but I guess I took it as a challenge, and not a limitation. I had a wonderful time while in the coma. I traveled in time and space. I visited China, rode on the orient express, worked with leprechauns, fought crime lords, and had way too much sex. My brain may have been cooking itself, but it created a whole scenario of experiences to keep me occupied.

I guess my reaction was to become a workaholic, each time.

Answer 4

I have been there trust me after 30 years of dealing with my illness I know how you feel. I found that by accepting that I have a mental illness and talking with my therapist i got past the why me stage. We do get better and go on to lead happy productive lives. No it never goes away but we do get relief by staying the course with meds and therapy

Answer 5

Everyone is born with the ability to have anger and all of the other unhealthy traits.

I have a friend who, with God's help, has overcome cancer once and is dealing with it again. She is not angry. She is trusting God and has a cheerful and a positive attitude. I know that she will be ok because of her faith in God's ability to fix this problem again just as He did before.

It is ok to be angry sometimes but, don't dwell on it. Stay busy with helping others.

You are reaching for help. Ask God. Stay in constant prayer with Him and believe that He will help you overcome this. Then celebrate what He is doing in your life.

Answer 6

Just like the other 2 said, It helps to talk to someone and stay on the meds..I have been dealing with it for some years now myself. It does get better, however.

Answer 7

Anger and denial are part of any illness or even death. It is a fact of life, you just need to take it one day at a time. Maybe go get some counseling to deal with it or talk to a friend or someone you can trust.
Good luck!

Answer 8

Volunteering at a food bank, shelter or nursing home will help you see that there are people out there worse off than you, perhaps helping you see you don't have it quite that bad. It will raise your spirits by allowing you to help yourself by helping others.