My roomate continuouly borrows clothes/jewlery/shoes etc and uses my makeup/bathroom products/foods without asking or saying anything and it drives me crazy. She never asks and it's not just a little here and there, it's enough that I notice and have to buy products more often because of it. I feel like kicking her out of the apt sometimes, but I know that's a bit extreme...
2006-10-12 03:46:11 · 12 answers · asked by meercat 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Good answer from Jenyfer though I'd start with a light conversation first and hope your room-mate gets the hint.
Start out gently...ask her to sit down with you. Go on to explain that you don't really mind so much that she uses or borrows your items but you'd prefer that she ask first and tell her you'd appreciate it if she were to share the costs of replacing any items that you have both used. If you want let her know that certain things are fine to 'share' but others aren't and let her know what they are. Finish off by saying that you feel so much better being able to discuss this stuff with her before it got out of hand and became an issue later.
If she ignores your request, tell the bi tch to get out! :-)
2006-10-12 04:02:35 · answer #1 · answered by mildly_adiktiv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooooh, that always bugged me when roommates did that stuff - now I have a place on my own, thank heavens!
You have a choice: Either move out and get a place on your own (or a roommate who respects your boundaries), or sit her down and discuss it with her. Explain that you really don't like her using your things all the time. Explain that this costs you time and money, and unless she starts contributing or replacing the items she uses, you're going to have to ask her to leave. As to your clothes and jewelry that she borrows, put a lock on your door. I would hate it if my roommate was snooping around my room. That's a total invasion of privacy. Explain that, too. Explain that you feel your privacy is being totally invaded, and you need her to respect your boundaries.
Honestly, sounds like it's time for a new roommate. In my experience, people who do this don't change, and the situation just tends to deteriorate until someone gets mad enough to leave.
2006-10-12 04:44:26 · answer #2 · answered by locolady98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have it out with her in a respectful but direct and honest way, where there can be no misunderstanding. Tell her that you're NOT her personal clothing store, grocery store or toiletry store, and also that incidentally, there is NOTHING hygienic about sharing make-up. Then, have a lock installed on your bedroom if you don't have one already, and USE it. Buy a footlocker for the bathroom and put your stuff in there, locked. The kitchen is harder... but if she knows you're aware of what you're doing, she probably won't try taking anything else.
Or, you could move. I loved university but roommates were the worst. Find yourself a nice bachelor apartment, and do things as you'd like them, without people taking your stuff.
2006-10-12 06:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question made me think of one of the Viral Videos I've seen on TV. The guy left a videocamera in a box in his room because he thought his roommate was taking money and wanted to catch him in the act. As a matter of fact, very shortly after he left the room his roommate was in there rifling through stuff. He takes the money and leaves the room. Then he comes back in and goes through stuff and finds the box with the camera. But apparently it is some type of lock box or something. He can't figure out how to open it. He peers directly into the lens, then returns the box to its place. Then he goes out and you can hear him cursing and kicking things. Then he walks calmly back into the room and returns the money to exactly where he found it. It was sooooo funny! And I'm pretty sure it stopped the roommate, too.
2006-10-12 05:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you need to have a chat and then tell her pretty much what you just wrote...but no need to mention you'd like to kick her out or that it drives you crazy. Or let her know when you are going shopping and tell her to give you some $ and you will pick up whatever it is she last borrowed from you. Communication is key in any relationship.
2006-10-12 04:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by bob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy. Sit her down and talk to her. If you can do this when you are not angry or upset it will really help. Some people just do not have common sense and need to be told. Hopefully once she realizes that this is something that really bothers you she will make an effort to stop, and if she really needs something, to atleast ask you before she takes/borrows it.
2006-10-12 03:59:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your roommate may not be aware of your feelings and that you do mind her using your things. Diplomatically tell your roommate that you prefer that she not use your things unless you are asked first. If this does not resolve the issue place your things under lock and key or find another roommate.
2006-10-12 03:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by mzmscheeveeuhs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and explain to her that she owes you money for the things she has used. Present her with an itemized bill, tell her you wanted to make sure she knew these items weren't included in the rent.
2006-10-12 03:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by Jenyfer C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe it isn't so extreme. talk to her a/s/a/p. get a lock on your door and keep your supplies under lock and key. tell her if she cant use her own things go without. except food i hate to see anyone starve. does she have an income? if so your being used!! put an end to it now. thanks
2006-10-12 04:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she isn't renting your underware!? Wow! that is a new concept. LOL I would just say that. Look you help with rent so i can buy these nice things. If I wanted you wearing my stuff I would have married you! LOL
2006-10-12 04:06:44 · answer #10 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋