I foolishly got drawn into the whole world of internet chat rooms and began sharing my fantasies with people online. I then (stupidly)arranged to meet someone & had sexual contact with them.This was about 2 yrs ago. I had already been with my gf for about 2 yrs at this time. By this time we were sharing a house together (which is where the stupid deed took place)
I took advice & decided not to tell her cos she would never find out & telling her would only hurt her. Except 9 mths ago she did find out. I foolishly denied it, until finally admitting it 3 mths ago. She then checked & found that I had still been using chat rooms & kicked me out of the house that we had bought together.
It was a stupid & hurtful thing to do, & I realise the bond of trust we had has been shattered & may never be rebuilt, though I did and still do love her & would like to try to rebuild our relationship.
My question is what can I do to help ease her pain & sufferring that she is undoubtedly going through?
2006-10-12 03:39:53 · 22 answers · asked by A fool & his gf are soon parted 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A public and abject apology then get out of her life
2006-10-18 07:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you did was not stupid, it was planned out and carried out by you, who had the brains to do the "deed" secretly in your home...then you hid it because you were smart enough to know that it was wrong.
Stop saying what you did was stupid and admit to your ex that what you did was inexcusable and unacceptable. If you truly mean these words you will have said pretty much the only thing that will ease her pain. If you mean those words, you will realize that her fractured trust in you will not repair.
If you care, you will accept responsibilty for your choices.
2006-10-12 04:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by Deactivate account 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the suited time to relax approximately it quite is now. you're divorced, he has somebody else, he's no longer yours anymore. as long as this female isn't harming your infants, then manage it. while you're making a huge deal approximately it, then he might prefer to up the ante and be greater of a jerk approximately it via rubbing your face in it. he will then tell the youngsters which you're mean to their new pal, and, being youthful and impressionable, they are going to see the kind you act and have self assurance him. you will in simple terms come out looking like an immature brat and a vindictive b*itch. Be an person and be mature approximately it. probability is, you will get rid of all his relaxing interior the technique.
2016-10-19 06:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by reatherford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time will help her handle the pain but it would be better for you not to try and re establish yourself in her life unless she has initiated it . if she wants to allow you back into her life as even just a friend let her do it and she will when she is ready. but since this is still so fresh and new (the breakup) there is really nothing that can be done. your second biggest mistake was denying it. at some point she may want to talk to you and want you to explain to her exactly everything and it would be in your best interest to be honest totally ... and let her know that it was not her fault or anything that she had done.
2006-10-12 03:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by chocolatefancier 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're right - things would never be the same again. Girls have an amazing memory and she'd only remind you in about 17 years time when you're brushing your teeth or something. Don't live your life on edge waiting for that moment to come - get out there and have as much fun as possible with other girls. She'll be doing the same! except maybe not with girls ;) unlike my ex-wife.
2006-10-12 04:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by gareth_bancroft 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you both need time to ease the pain. give her some time to think about this. if she really loves you, i believe that you both can rebuild your relationship. you know it's the past, it's already gone. everybody has it, either good or bad. though if you still love her, show her that she's the one and you will never do like that again.
time will heal the pain, leave her alone for a while, then go see her at the right time, perhaps thru her friends or relatives.
good luck.
2006-10-12 03:47:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only time can heal her achy breaky heart. I say be patient, don't push her. Send her flowers and nice cards just to say I love you. Stop apologizing for the bad deed, the sooner you forget the sooner she'll forget.
Good luck - and remember be patient women are delicate, emotional beings.
2006-10-12 03:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jazz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you caused her pain and now you want to fix it? Are you retarded? the mere thought of you probably makes her ill! I would suggest you leaving her alone, she has had enough of your crap. The best thing is to live with your mistake from afar and stop screwing with her emotions. You know you'll just end up doing it again.
2006-10-12 03:44:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her well alone i think that would help her! Poor girl, you deserve no sencond chance/ no sympathy/ no nothing. You're a sick person for doing that to someone you supposedly love enough to BUY a house with!
2006-10-12 03:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by Minxy_uk 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't...
To loose trust in a relationship is a doomsday prophecy.... She is done with you... You can't change what you did to her... try not to repeat the behaviour..
She will get through it , by knowing she will find someone trustworthy in her future....and she has removed the albatross from around her neck....
2006-10-12 03:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋