How do I make him see?

Question

My Bf and I have been together for 6 yrs. We have a house, and we are 25 and 29. I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. He always told me since the 2nd year we've been together that 29-30 years old for him was a good age to start a family... And I always had in mind 25-26 for me. Now that he turns 29 in January, he is pushing the date back 3-4 years........ How do I make him see that He is not negotiating and that I do not want to wait that long. Who knows how long it could take to actually conceive. I need to make him understand my point of view....He sees it that if we have a baby now we will never get to do anything ever again......

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I know there are no wedding plans. I don't plan on getting married and there is nothing wrong with parents who are not married. One thing I hear from everyone is it'll happen when he's ready. Ok I know we both have to agree on the time, but why does he have to have the final say. Wait another 3-4 years will make him happy, but have me miserable...... there should be a compromise. and I know it is life changing but I also know that life does not end with the birth of a child.

Thanks kristenlee22, He doesn't have commitment issues actually. I know it seems that way, but we have discussed marriage and it isn't in our plans. I never planned on getting married and him either. So in your opinion, he should hear me out and compromise somewhat... I am not saying that he should simply tell me yes right now...but at least think of maybe next year or early 2008..hehe anyways thanks

Answer 1

It makes me mad that people still have this notion that you must must must be married to have children. But it does raise some questions. You've been together for 6 years and he doesn't want to have children and you are not married. It sounds like this guy has serious commitment issues. If he does not want to negotiate, he doesn't want to. He will resent you if you have a child and he does not want one.

I would suggest a long sit-down talk just to check in and find out why he wants to wait and what he is looking for in your relationship. He deserves to have a captive audience as he explains why he wants to wait and you deserve the opportunity to explain what you need and want as well. Try and listen with an open mind and perhaps you will learn more about where he is coming from. You will have the opportunity to plead your case too, but remember, relationships are about compromise and understanding. If you want to have a baby with this man, you may have to wait. Good Luck!
~Kristen

Answer 2

Just curious, why talking about bringing more children into the world without their parents being married?

He's right to an extent though. When you have kids, your life as you know it will not be the same. A baby is not a commodity or a new toy. It's a complete responsibility that engulfs all your time. There is no more running away for the weekend, staying out with the friends, etc.

Answer 3

First of all, with regard to satindoll's response, there is NOTHING wrong with not being married. Anyway, the more you push your bf, the more he is going to pull back. You're only 25, you still have plenty of time in your life to have children. Just take it one day at a time and see what happens. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring and you are nowhere near "running out of time." Not even close.

Answer 4

Why are you trying to rush him. It will happen. when hes ready. If you keep pushing him hes going to want to prolong it more. Your still have a bunch of years left. My wife is 30 and we are going to start next year. Making a baby takes two so just give him his space and he will come around. Maybe hes got some marriage plans coming up in the future, and is telling you he doesnt want a family now because hes going to propose soon.