Help my 28 yr old brother is pitifull..10 points?

Question

my brother is 28 and depends on me and my mom for everything he moved here and lived with my mom from sept untill august my mom put him in an apartment paid rent or a month nd told him to get a job he goes to college part time and is whinning he is going to get evicted ..wont look for a job, goes to her house takes her groceries ..begs for money how can we get him to step up and be a man....?

Answer 1

its called "tuff love". dont give him anything and dont let him take anything. if he gets evicted-so be it

Answer 2

You cant!!! You let him fall straight on his face and learn his lesson for using people... He is never going to learn if all he has to do is beg the two of you and you both give into him. He is an adult. He needs to be a man and the two of you need to move on with your lives, and let him sit in his own juices of stupidity!! Life will give him a wake up call when he has nothing and no where to go and no money.. It's a hard lesson but other wise he will always be a moocher... 28 and still not done with college?? He know how to play this game.... I would help pack his things, open the door, and throw his $hit in the front yard and tell him not to come back until he has a full time job of more than Hardee's and has his life in order. Do not back down or give in or he will know he has you at the tip of his fingers!! Good LUCK!!

Answer 3

That's a tough one. Make it hard for him. It's very difficult to change a person that's used to having things given and done by someone else. He knows he can turn back to your Mom for any type of help. He'll never change if you don't do anything about it. Unfortunately you and your Mom have to look for a job for him. Bring him job applications, show him vagrants in the street. Even though he's going to college it's still no reason for him to not have a job. Tell your Mom to tighten her grip on him and he'll see he has to shape up. Best of Luck!

Answer 4

Sit down with him and explain the necessity of him finding a job and depending upon himself and give him 30 days to find a job and make his life his own because after the 30 days is up, he'll be cut off...i wouldn't cut him off cold turkey because that kinda leaves him stranded...so allowing him 30 days should be more then enough time, then he's on his own

Answer 5

You and your mother are not helping him at all like you think you are. You are enabling him to be lazy and not have to worry about having a job.

I'm not telling you what to do, but I would change the locks on the house so he'll stop stealing your food. I'd also stop giving him any money. He's old enough and is adult now. It's NOT your responsibilty to keep supporting him. If he doesn't eat, that's his own fault, it's not like he is unable to have a job,

Answer 6

I agree, cut him off financially. Let him know that you love him, but won't support him anymore financially. Kinda like a drug intervention. We love you but don't come to us for rides, money, food, etc...until you're clean. And don't let him make you or your mom feel guilty if he ends up on the street either! Let him know that it's his own doing...now he'll have to get out of it himself, make his own way. You can only do sooo much and it seems that you & your mom have done everything possible to allow himself to "get on his feet' What more can you do besides support him for the rest of his/your life? I know this from experience, my 40 yr old sister is living with my MOM who, since I can remember is supporting her, managing her finances, trying to teach HER how to manage her finances, be responsible. And here she is, 40, unable to keep an apartment, keep utilies on, etc...She does have a job and makes decent money, but prefers to blow it instead of supporting herself. So, don't let another dozen years pass and be in the same situation. Tell him he's got 30 days (it won't make a difference) put him out, tell him stop whining, sink or swim. it's all ON HIM! good luck!

Answer 7

My parents taught me and my brothers that it's sink or swim. We have to take care of ourselves. I have in-laws that are in their thirties and some in their twenties, all with at least 3 children, that are still living with their momma. And she lives in a two bedroom apartment. People need to stop babying their children and teach them to be independent. I know how that must sound to some people, but it's a lot better than having them sponge off of you for the rest of your life.

Answer 8

Quit giving him money, quit paying rent. Change the locks and lock your doors so he can't get in. Put your foot down. Make him grow up. You keep giving him what he wants so now it's your turn to make the change and be tough!

It'll probably be pretty hard on you(mentally) so strong and consistent.

Answer 9

Treat him like one. He didn't get this way all on his own. Your mother is half to blame here. She has maintained this lifestyle for him and has kept him dependent on her. If she and you stop giving he will have to get a job. Simple as that. Let him get evicted.

Answer 10

u need to stop helping your brother, obviously he's taking advantage of you and your mum, leave him by himself. If you dont stop helping him he'll never grow up and learn to stand on his own two feet. I suggest you and your mum have a serious chat, be serious and tell him that you're not going to pay his rent and you won't give him any money or a place to stay. he has to do it himself. it's not hard. hes a man now. you and your mum need to be strong.

Answer 11

Stop taking care of him...feed him once a week in stead of daily (or not at all would be better). Show him where to get jobs, how to keep them, and be a good example yourself. But yes...stop enabling him for sure.