I'm 58 and 8 years divorced after 21 years of marriage. He is divorced as well. Whenever he sees me his eyes light up and he's very attentative. At first I didn't pay it any attention, but the last time I saw him it was more noticable and I got this tingly feeling. We don't see each other a lot because he lives out of town. In my 20's I had no problem with this, but at this age I feel apprenhensive and I am not quite sure of how to really approach him or what to say to break the ice. To be honest, I'm down right afraid. He seems apprehensive as well, but one of us needs to do something. Right now we are more like two pre-teenagers bumping in to each other and afraid to look too long. For me this is crazy compared to the way I was in my younger days. If you've experienced this, can you give any suggestions? I will see him again next month. I need to be ready this time. I'd appreciate honest advice from people in my own age group, ie. 50 and above.
2006-10-12 02:22:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Believe me, I know how you feel. After being a widow for about 10 years, I decided that I would start dating. Talk about nervous!!! I understand you comparing your feelings to your teenage years. I felt the same way - and felt stupid for it. I had a couple of dates here and there - nothing special - but then I met one special man. We met for lunch and there it was, that high school, first date excitement. The date lasted for 6 hours! We had so much fun talking and laughing. After a couple of dates, I confided in him how excited I felt when I met him and that I continued to feel embarassingly like a teenager - (I couldn't wait for his call, we'd talk for hours, we had silly private jokes). The best part was that he felt the same way!! It was such a wonderful time in my life. Well, as the "fairy tale" goes, we got married (19 months ago) and the feelings haven't changed. I'm happier with my life than I've ever been!
I hope that you decide to give yourself and this gentleman a chance at what could be a wonderful relationship. Believe me, it's worth the risk. As far as breaking the ice, it seems that the smiles and looks you've shared have begun to break the ice. I'd suggest that you just say Hi and start a casual conversation. You'll be able to sense how he is feeling about it and if things feel right to you - go ahead and ask him to go for coffee or lunch - something casual. Just take the chance - I hope everything works out for you!!!
2006-10-12 03:04:20 · answer #1 · answered by babygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 69 and about 3 months ago I found the man of my dreams. He is 64 and 4 1/2 years younger than I am.
I saw his profile on Yahoo and made contact with him. The advantage that gave me was I learned what he liked and that I had the same interest. So, we e-mailed each other.
But, if you don't know any thing about him just start a friendly conversation, weather, sports or any other similar topic. You could ask some questions too. Some might be where did he go to school, what kinds of music he likes or almost any thing else.
Just don't be shy about starting a conversation, he could be very shy too and does not know how to approach you. In today's society there is not reason for you not to approach him first.
2006-10-12 09:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him how he has been coping with single life ever since he divorced. His answer will determine if you will ask next if he feels like re-marrying. If yes, ask him why he has refrained from doing so. If it has to do with not finding the right candidate, this will afford you the chance of knowing what he is looking for in a woman. By the time you reach this area of "investicussion", you will know if you are his candidate. If you think you match his desire and if you like him too, then you are already in business. Good luck.
2006-10-12 09:39:40 · answer #3 · answered by peaceman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 55> sounds like both of you are afraid of rejection and need to break the ice. If I was interested in you I would ask you to have
a drink , cup a coffee etc..... you may have to be the one to get things going and take it to another level.{ Warning~~ he may have
a girlfriend or is not over his x yet but it sounds like he's
interested in you. good luck
2006-10-12 09:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by callman51 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess I can not give any advise since you've said you need the advise fro 50 and above but I wish you the best.
2006-10-12 09:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by freeall_freeme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a little bold and just ask him if he would like to go for a cuppa coffee at a nice quite place. Life is too short to be backward and you two may have much in common. Who knows, you may invite me to your wedding?
Good Luck!
2006-10-12 09:28:22 · answer #6 · answered by polecat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all need to love and to be loved.
Most of our issues could be solved fairly easily, if we have our loved one supporting us.
If you are hurt by a former ex, well you just need to get yourself up and start searching for someone who deserves your love.
Don't ever be shy .. that won't ever help you .. and you'll have lots to lose. Do what your heart tells you it's right.
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2006-10-12 09:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a computer? If so start chatting with him, you will find out a lot about him, you will start feeling more comfortable with each other. At least it's worth a try!!
2006-10-12 09:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by yakity_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg ur 58 years old and u want me to teach u something about relationships im only 21 !! u should teach me lol
gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood luck !!
bye
2006-10-12 09:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
JSUT ASK HIM IF HE WANT S TO GO OUT WITH YOU!!! YOU ARE BOTH MATURE NOW SO YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE ANY SSITUATIONS THAT ARISES!
2006-10-12 09:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋