Whenever I say something to her but I word it wrong and it comes across the wrong way, she cracks the shits with me for about 24 hours, and then whenever she words something wrong and it comes across the wrong way, I get a tiny bit upset, try to talk to her and then she cracks the shits with me for about 24 hours. I can't bloody win, and it's breaking my heart to see her like that.. what can I do to make this girl happy? You just cant talk to her! At all without her cracking the shits!
Please no idiots telling me to break up with her, its a serious long term relationship.. no stupid comments thank you, no time wasters..
Thanks
2006-10-12 02:06:06 · 15 answers · asked by Jye B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
all of men are not good listeners
you must talk to her and ask her what does she want of you may be you are wrong
2006-10-12 02:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say she's breaking your heart and there's no way that you can seem to make her happy but yet you think this will be a long term relationship. By your statements about "no idiots telling me to break up with her" it sounds like you already know the solution to the problem, but if you insist on torturing yourself a while longer you can always try the following methods:
First, you say that a lot of problems are caused by things getting worded wrong so I would say that you should start by being more careful about how you word things. Take your time before saying something and think about how it might sound to her and how she'll react. It may take a moment sometimes to find the right words but a few extra seconds of thought to spare 24 hours of $#!+ cracking seems like a good trade off to me.
Second, when you're thinking about what to say, consider this: try changing all of your "you's" into "I's". What I mean is, a lot of times people will react better to your requests or ideas if you explain them as "I feel..." or "I think...." rather than "You should...". For example, instead of "You ought to quit cracking the $@!+$" try "I feel like $#!+ when what I say comes out wrong and hurts you." It's amazing the difference in the reaction.
Lastly, keep in mind that you're a guy and she's a gal and you're never going to completely understand each other. Things are going to get misconstrued from time to time no matter what but you both need to realize this and don't let it get to you so much when it happens. The closest thing I can get to understanding the female language versus the guys is this: Guys just come out and say it, gals tend to communicate in subtleties. For instance, with a birthday coming up, a guy will come right out and say "Hey, I'd like that for my birthday." A gal, under similar circumstances, will say "Don't you think that's pretty? I like that. It'd be the perfect thing to get as a gift for somebody."
Hope some of this helps, if not, just thow me in with the idiots who think you should break up with her.
2006-10-12 02:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by Jason P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both should just think before you speak and hopefully it will come across ok.I dunno.I am a woman and I know we can maybe just get a little Bi**y sometimes.Maybe there is something else going on in her mind.Tell her how you feel about all this.Then both of you's come up with some sort of a compromise.Being as you want to fix this problem instead of sweeping it under the rug is a real good sign things will work out.
2006-10-12 02:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to explain to her that you don't want to argue or have her mad at you. Leave little notes lying around the house or something. You need to drop hints that you don't like seeing her this way. Have you tried having flowers sent to her work after a night of cracking sh*it? I really don't know though. Maybe she's just going through a rough patch i life and is taking it out on you. Sometimes girls keep things to themselves and it builds up till we burst in outrage on the closest person.
I'm sorry though.
Good Luck.
2006-10-12 02:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here it goes.....I'm a girl and I've been with my man for 6 months. We're learning each other obviously, but he can say the meanest things!!!!!!! I get so upset and wonder if he's hurting me! Your woman is just INSECURE! I am too sometimes. In the beginning I was strong-willed and confident, but lately, I've been worrying about him cheating or lying. Which is totally crazy b/c he doesn't do anything to make me think he's cheating on me. MY point is..........she's just worried that you're not being honest and telling her that you're unhappy so you're hurting her to push her away. That's what we think sometimes, b/c you guys can't show your feelings as well as we can. SOLUTION? You have to keep talking to her. You obviously know her sensitivities, so try avoid saying things that would make her think you're being rude or mean to her. OR make sure she knows you are just playing around and joking! My man jokes a lot and sometimes I take offense to it b/c I don't want him treating me badly. He's not treating me badly, he's just wanting to play around. Maybe you should show my answer to your girl, bc I think her and I have a lot in common. Maybe this will make her stronger and know that you do love her tremendously, you're just trying to have fun and laugh. ALWAYS LAUGH! It makes things a lot better and you'll become closer with her.
2006-10-12 02:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be depressed and whenever something goes wrong she can find blame in you. We reciently just moved for my husbands job and I have not been happy so anything that pisses me off is HIS fault even if it is my fault. I know this is confusing but us women are fragile and we meed to break your hearts to make you feel pain. I am sorry this is happening to you but just ask her what ELSE is bothering her. Talk to her and maybe just take her for a walk and let her know that you love her. We are also sometimes VERY needy. Good Luck!
2006-10-12 02:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be this is just how she is. Some people just pick and pick, that's how they provide themselves with a sense of having the upper hand in the relationship. All in all, it's a control issue. If you don't see it as the case, it could be she just feels like if there's no drama, then there's no passion. She may just want to see you upset to know you still care. It can be very draining to be in this situation.
2006-10-12 02:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the same and i married her what you need to do is slightly put your foot down take some of those aggressive nature and turn it into a pleasurable moment. let her fuss and you take charge and instead of fussing back when she in the height sneak a big kiss on her to silence the madness. its called redirection, she'll think your crazy and start giving you more respect. cause that's what it sounds like.
2006-10-12 02:14:49 · answer #8 · answered by bigmannyphantom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously your friends have told you to break up with her, otherwise you wouldn't have asked "us" not to tell you to do so. Tell the ***** to knock it off. You are a man aren't you? Just because you love someone doesn't mean that they can treat you l ike ****.
2006-10-12 02:10:31 · answer #9 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out what is really bothering her...Sounds like she is mad about something and she's just nitpicking at all the little things to let out frustration.....
2006-10-12 02:10:12 · answer #10 · answered by sweet75482 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋