I'm in a relationship (10 years) and I've come to the conclusion that although I love this guy, it's not the kind of feeling you should have if you intend to spend your life with someone. I know he has really strong feelings for me and he is a good guy. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to stay in a relationship with someone I don't have that "connection" with. What's the best way to handle this without hurting him too badly?
2006-10-12 01:58:20 · 22 answers · asked by Lovey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to ask yourself, when did you stop feeling this way about him? Is it just a phase you are going through, or have you met someone who you are attracted to? Its never easy to break it off.I would see what caused you to change your heart before breaking things off.You might think its over but it might be just really beginning for you both.As we spend time with another,we fall into a comfortable state.(i.e. knowing they will be there for us and us for them) Do a little soul searching first, find out what and where things changed.If there is someone else in the picture, then you have to make a choice.If that the case, just be honest with him..The truth hurts,But lies leave scars...Good luck.
2006-10-12 02:30:42 · answer #1 · answered by Frank D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, 10 Years!!!!The question you should ask yourself is what kept you going all through those years. What were the things that you did to rekindle the relationship? I know you must be fond of the guy and he must love you very much. Have a re-think. The reason i'm saying this is that is it wise to let go all of a sudden.
If you need a spark, why don't you try out new things, have a new hairdo, make new friends , go to a spa, change your bed, get sex toys, y'know....things to rev up your engines and i don't mean sex alone.
But if you truly want to end it, there is absolutely no way he won't be hurt. He will get angry, will hate you (curse you even), and might never want to see you again. Start slowly by talking to him and asking for a long seperation so little by little, he will start getting used to not seeing you. After the seperation, then tell him about your mind.
P.S. Give him a long, long time to heal cuz he is bonded to you and you will be to him. Even if you will become friends which might be unlikely cuz he will still love you, make it casual so that he won't have his hopes up of coming back again.
I really feel sorry for the poor guy. The way you break up with him will shapen the outlook he will have of girls. Many people that hate guys or girls was caused by the ''way the break-up'' was done.
2006-10-12 09:26:57 · answer #2 · answered by Banana Pie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to handle any given situation is to be honest with yourself as well as the other person. Somewhere over the past 10 years, being honest was apart of you two being in a relationship and now is no different. I say be honest and let him no how you feel that way in the end even if he has questions about what happened to get to this point, he will know how you feel about the situation.
2006-10-12 09:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 years? He's going to feel hurt nomatter what you do. You might want to try going to counceling first before you end something you've put so much time and effort into. That way there won't be doubts if it turns out that there's nothing that can fix you two. It'll also help him accept things knowing you cared enough to atleast try instead of wandering off and leaving him holding the pieces of his heart. Guys need to know you tried before you walk. It's one of the things we torture ourselves with while we're nursing a broken heart. "What could we have done to save it?" Good luck.
2006-10-12 09:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to end it and not hurt him... But it is charitable to do it as soon as possible so that you can both begin to heal the wounds. I respect you for realizing its not right for you to be with him. Just be honest.
Love is never selfish. What you've said shows that you truly love him, because you know its not right to stay with him, and you are ready to let him go, so that you both find the true and happy paths that are meant for you. You might not be going down those paths together anymore, but you'll always have eachothers memories of love and courage to carry you through hard times.
2006-10-12 09:04:36 · answer #5 · answered by lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no way to end a 10 year relationship without someone getting hurt. Very hurt. No matter what blame you place, they're going to hurt. Losing someone you care about always hurts.
I've been very hurt myself when I broke up with people who I cared about but knew I couldn't go on with. We're people with emotions and emotions can be painful sometimes.
2006-10-12 09:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by Glennroid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing....there will be hurt. And ten years is a long time....but good guys don't make for an exciting date right?
Its probably time to move on if you are saying all these things. Will things change? You can't break it off without hurt involved...you or him.
2006-10-12 09:03:23 · answer #7 · answered by greeneyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this but there is no way in hell you are going to end a 10-year relationship with this guy without hurting him. hell for wat it's worth you just might end up being hurt yourself even though you're the one that broke up wit him. think about all the options before doing it--im quite sure you're a smart person and will figure out the right thing to do. the way i see it, if he cares about you and you care about him, you should stay together.
2006-10-12 09:06:33 · answer #8 · answered by kinggemini2007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you really can do is be honest not only to him but yourself as well. If you know he is not the one you want to spend your life with then don't hurt yourself any longer! Breaking up is not easy and feelings will be hurt, its inevitable!
2006-10-12 09:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all need to love and to be loved.
Most of our issues could be solved fairly easily, if we have our loved one supporting us.
If you are hurt by a former ex, well you just need to get yourself up and start searching for someone who deserves your love.
Don't ever be shy .. that won't ever help you .. and you'll have lots to lose. Do what your heart tells you it's right.
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2006-10-12 09:02:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋