where to go from here?

Question

My Last question was on how to read body language and eye contact for tell tale signs of lying. I've been told that my fiance had an affair ,by the woman it was supposed have happened with, and yet he denies all. I went to dinner with my fiance and as far as I can see he seems to be telling the truth. So I believe him but i need him to prove it, i need evidence! My Question is, do i trust my heart and just go back to him or do i wait in agony for him to prove it?( if he can that is!!!!)

Answer 1

I'd say trust him. If you can't, then walk away because your relationship is already doomed.

Answer 2

The fact that you are asking for advice on here shows you really don't believe him. It seems you might be looking for others to convince you to stay or go when really you should be doing some deep soul searching by yourself. Think about it, how is he going to be able to prove he didnt have an affair if he hasn't been able to already. Basically its your fiances word against the other womans. Analyze the situation and the relationship that your partner had with this other woman. Does she have any reason to be lying to you? Did your fiance ever tell you of her flirting with him or asking him out before she told you of this supposed affair? Many guys will lie until the very end because they either realize they did something wrong and are sorry OR they just don't want to admit they did something wrong. Then again this woman could be lying just be THAT malicious. Only you know the circumstances. Only you can make the right decision in this case.

Answer 3

Can this woman prove that she's had the affair? Is there anything she can do to prove it rather than have your fiance disprove it? It's really hard to prove that you HAVE NOT done something. Where's the evidence? It's a lot easier to prove that you HAVE done something.

If not..

You need to decide if you can trust him. Can you get over the doubts or lingering suspicions? If you can move on from it, then I say move on and take him back. Women are capable of causing all kinds of problems with relationships. By that I mean, if this woman wants your fiance in a really bad way, I'm sure she would do anything to try to get him or to break you two up. On the same token, if she has a grudge against you then I'm sure she could give you a hard time as well.

Hard to say.

Answer 4

I dont know your previous questions, but I would be very curious to understand what would motivate this woman to lie in the first place, it is unusual.
When you say yourve read his body language, one thing you should understand is that there are no hard and fast rules on this and some are much better than others giving lies. Unless your trained, there really is no way you can use this technique.
Ask him out the blue and whach his face for an expression that may last half a second or so before he manages to retain control, it will be a look of frustration or agony.
Also, play him at his own game, tell him yourve set up him up to take a lie detector test on national TV for Trisha or something like that, see how he reacts.

Answer 5

Here's a question you should ask yourself: What would be this woman's motive for lying to you about the affair? 90% of the time when someone comes to you and admits to an affair they are telling the truth. Your fiance on the other hand has something to lose... YOU. If you are looking information on body language try: http://www.ehow.com/how_13299_know-someone-lying.html
Otherwise, give yourself time and ask both parties a lot of questions. Good luck!

Answer 6

Why does he have to prove it? You said you paid attention to his behaviors and that you believed him, that should be enough. If you have no trust, then your marriage is over before it began.
This woman could be an angry ex - and since hes marrying you, shes even more upset. As for a woman not saying unless it is true.... that's a bunch of bull. Ask HER for proof that he DID cheat on you with her (and if she does so, make sure it is something conclusive, not like her having an old shirt of his or something, that can go back to the "she may be a jilted ex")

Answer 7

First, of all, there is absolutely no way that he can ever prove that he did NOT have an affair. You can get proof that he did have one, but not that he didn't.

If you already do not trust that he is telling you the truth and not cheating, then I strongly suggest you not marry this man. Regardless of whether he cheated, you do not trust him. A marriage without trust will fail.

Answer 8

This woman might have a motive for ruining your relationship. It sounds like your boyfriend is telling the truth. It is probably unlikley he can prove anything happened but i understand why its inportant thaat you find out. Ask your boyfriend if she would have any reason to ruin your relationship, is she jelalous? If all else fails read his texts and e-mails. My gut instinct on this however is that she is not telling the truth.

Answer 9

To ease your frustration... why not confront both your fiance and the woman together... arrange a meeting with the three of you and state your concerns... by that point you'll be able to determine who is lying and who is telling the truth...

Answer 10

Take your fiancee out to dinner and have the girl that he "had an affair with" there. See how they react. Talk about it and tell the girl to describe it for you. If she can give you actual descriptions of the event and not just "oh, it happened on a Thursday" then yeah he did it.

Normally a girl won't tell you she slept with your fiancee unless it happened.

Good Luck, but wouldn't you rather find out now?

Answer 11

Why do you wanna prove it?

You can either

a) trust him and go on with your life.
b) be suspicious forver and make both of your lives a living hell
c) spend the rest of your life trying to prove yourself right and become a paranoid psycho.
d) find whatever it is, make a huge scene and end up forgiving him because you don't want to be alone.
e) leave him for good 'cuz you can;t stand the suspiction.

I suggest option a.

Good luck