his father does but wants me to be the one to go to his house and do everything when he lives 2 hours away and his son doesn't pay his child support i just don't think i have to go out of my way to make his family happy i have told him he could come down and see her and i wrong should i just go although i work full time and am a single parent and it takes all i can do to go to work and college then find time to meet my daughters needs
2006-10-12 01:26:49 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
my parents do don't raise my child i live by my self she goes to day care when i am at work and stays with my friend when i have school so don't let your life reflect mine and me and her father were together since i was 15 and in two days i will be 18 so i wasn't like i had sex with someone i had only known for a hour
2006-10-12 01:34:01 · update #1
one more thing we did use a condom and it broke and i got on birth control right after my baby was born because i only want one would have liked her later in life but as seeing my time machine is broke i can't do nothing about that
2006-10-12 01:56:43 · update #2
( I am really shocked to see how rude, and unfeeling people are being about this situation. You shouldn't judge this girl until you have walked in her shoes... and stop making assumptions. Teen mom's DO look after their OWN babies.....)
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I feel your pain. Your situation is VERY similar to my own. I had a baby at 17. Her father hardly had a thing to do with her. She is 5 now, and she only sees him once every 3 - 6 months. But sees his family on a regular basis.
I agree with you. You should not have to go out of your way to please HIS family. That is not your obligation. If they want to take part in you daughter's life, then they must make the effort. Right now, you are doing the best you can to support you and your baby. You don't need to worry about them. They should be the least of your concern. Your daughter is what matters. Yes, she does need contact with the other side of the family, but they have to want it. It is nice of you to take your baby there to visit, but they also have to learn to meet you half way.
As for the 20 year old sperm donor.( Sorry) He better learn to UNDERSTAND that he is just as responsible for the baby as you. You didn't crawl on top of yourself and get preggo. You need to go to court and work out custody, child support, visitation, etc.
2006-10-12 06:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If we were having a conversation, I would be curious why you aren't getting child support. That might be something you would want to look into. Check with your college's counseling office. They should be able to refer you to some agencies that could help you with child support and visition issues.
As to the specific question you asked, no, I don't think you should take the child to see her father. That is his responsibility, particularly since he isn't paying child support at this time. Once a visitation order is in place, the judge may ask you to drive her every other time or for the two of you to meet halfway each time. If you are nursing, the court may award you temporary full custody until you finish nursing.
I admire you for continuing with your college education and working to support your daughter.
2006-10-12 02:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by servinggodalone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless. It would have been better for you to not get involved with an older man and certainly not to engage in unprotected sex with him. See who's paying for what happened? Women fall into that trap ALL the time. As far as child support you can go to the courts to have that enforced and if the grandparents want to see the child let them do the traveling. You have enough demands put on you as it is. Don't try to force the father to get involved with his child because you would be wasting your time. You can't make someone love a child or want it. You seem to have things pretty much under control so try to let go of the side of your life where the baby's father is concerned and continue to do what you have to do for yourself and your child. It would curb your stress.
2006-10-12 01:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt love or wants anything to do with your daughter knowing that he is the father, then you should take him to court get child support and do not see him ever again. You are very young, take care of yourself, do not try to get pregnant again. Take birth control. You have to know that having a child is a big responsability and if youre working and going to school and being a parent is really hard you need your friends and parent's support. Forget about this man and his family, they are heartless people and you are going to find someone who is going to love you and love your daughter even if its not his.
Good luck!
2006-10-12 01:38:51 · answer #4 · answered by Beautiful Me! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get on with your life...forget about making him child support and all that garbage..... if he wants to see his daughter...he can come and see her.
honey I know it's hard, I've done it(and I wouldn't do it again), I raise two by myself with no support. The best advice is just to get on with your lives. If he comes back in to your lives in years to come....remain neutral...don't bring up the 'well you should have done this....'He's not ready to be a father......just let it go....all the nonsense people go through with support and custody isn't worth it....you can't make someone be a parent
In the mean time...you'll grow stong, although you feel like you are fighting a battle you have no hope of winning.
My heart goes out to you and your daughter...I'm sending good thoughts your way
you've got your hands full for the next twenty years.....
2006-10-12 01:42:40 · answer #5 · answered by kardea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to get child support out of him!!! No if's and or butt's--you need money to raise your child and he should help!
Second, I would not make your poor baby travel for 2 hours up and 2 hours back. If he wants to see her, he can make the drive down. It is much easier for an adult to drive in a car for 2 hours than it is for a child to do that. Plus, it takes money and time to do that. There is nothing wrong with saying that!!
2006-10-12 01:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one - file for child support. If you already have, then go to your local AFDC office, and file for aid (that's what they are there for), and THEY will pay you, and then go after him to pay it back. That seems harsh, I know but in many cases, not just yours that is the only recourse that women have. Too many young men today are irresponsible, immature, selfish individuals that want to play, but never to pay. Did he have problems coming around to get you pregnant? I'd bet not. As for his parents, or his father - you decide what is best, and what YOU want for you and your child. Don't let anger at the baby's father influence your decision, but if you have limited time, make him come to you. If he truly loves the baby, he will! You must arrange things to afford yourself the most time possible with your baby to build that close mother/child bond, and don't let him or anything else stand in the way of that! I wish you the best of luck, young lady. I will pray for you, and your baby. Don't forget to make God a part of your lives, because as the Word says : If God be for us, who can be against us? He really will make things easier for you if you give Him a chance! Best wishes to you! I believe your baby will at least have a good mother.
2006-10-12 01:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is the baby's father's responsibility to take his daughter to see his parents. You have a busy lif with work and school and the baby, you rresponsibility is to do what you can for her and not worry about anything else but her. If her grandpa is so eager to see her set up where you guys meet up once a month and he can take her for the weekend. I know it will be hard for you but that way he gets to see her and you get to get things done. ONly do it if he has someone to help him with her though, if not maybe you should try that but when she gets a little bit older.
2006-10-12 02:18:22 · answer #8 · answered by Mely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want to help his family (father) but you have to think about you and your child because it seems like you are the only one thinking about her. Your daughter and school should be the first on your list and if you want to help when you have the time to do so, only then is when you should help. If his father can't understand that, then you should move on and do what you need to do for you and your child and tell his son to get off his butt and do for his on family. Good Luck~~
2006-10-12 01:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by msleya2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that you had paternity established for the baby and that you go after the father for child support. In most states if the father is underage they can go after his parents. You need to do this and he can get a job and help you with the expenses for the baby. Buying diapers or formula and such does not get it. You need to actually go to court and get child support established and if he does not pay or give you money, you can send him to jail. He had as much to do with having this baby as you did and he needs to take responsibility. You can contact your local child support agency and they will help you. Good luck to you in the future.
2006-10-12 01:40:59 · answer #10 · answered by Libragal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋