My two kids (3 and 4) get along well but lately its always a fight. Im so tired of breaking up these fights. With the exception of violence I was considering letting them work it out,no matter how aggravating their acreaming and whining gets. This will be good later on when theyre older and I wont have an emotional 9 year old who needs me to fight all their battles.
2006-10-12 01:10:20 · 13 answers · asked by TrofyWife 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Siblings fighting is such a normal thing. I think every parent goes through a period where they think they have the children who fight the most. I know I did.
I found that leaving them to "work it out" is the best way to solve it. Kids also know what gets your attention- if they fight, you come running. If they are playing nicely, you leave them be while you are getting some peace and quiet. I am not saying you're ignoring your kids, but I think kids test to see if you are paying attention to them....
I agree- don't interfere EVERYTIME unless its getting extreme. My outlook was this: if neither one of them are bleeding or on fire- you're fine. :) Hang in there.
2006-10-12 01:17:24 · answer #1 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ahh...you bring back memories. :) I'm not sure there's a correct way or a wrong way to break up these fights. I tried everything, bringing one kid along with me so they're not in the same room together when left alone, I've let them battle it out, I've put them both in time out, or in separate rooms....I'd suggest don't leave them alone together and make one come with you while you do the laundry, the dishes...switch kids so it's just not one kid going with you all the time, or tell them if they play nice for a 1/2 hour, then you'll sit down and read them a story or play a game with them. Also, drill into their little heads, that they shouldn't hurt each other because they're brothers and when they get older they'll want a life time friend they can always count on. (they might be a little too young for that...but keep this in mind..it works). For the most part, just hang in there because they do get older and will learn to be nice to each other. You sound like a good mom. Good luck!
2006-10-12 08:26:08 · answer #2 · answered by babbles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Between siblings, I never stood between my two daughters. I always let them battle it out no matter how loud and obnoxious the fighting ended up, but when it came to them hitting eachother - that is when I stepped in. They are now 11 and 14 and get along quite well, although they do have their tiffs now and then, but nothing like it was when they were little.
As for my sister, brother and I - my parents put us outdoors when we were fighting and if it came to using fists and feet, they still didn't break up the fight.
As for when your kids get older, if they fight together then leave them alone, if they are fighting with other students then it's your parental responsibility to make sure it isn't one of your kids that started it - that's just bullying at that point.
At their ages now, (3-4), they are growing up and going to do battle with eachother, especially if stuck in the household together all day everyday. Adults get tired of other adults after awhile and same goes for children. Give them activities with other children their own age and maybe when they do get together again in the household, they might be able to get along at that point. That's what my parents ended up doing. But!! Don't give them the same activities, they each deserve something they can call their own.
2006-10-12 08:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My kids don't argue. My sister and I did though. When we'd fight my dad would simply say: "Go into the bed room and figure it out. I don't want anyone coming out fighting." Sometimes we would resolve the issue, other times we did not. If we didn't and left the room we were sent back. My dad didn't mediate us simply because the the ridiculous arguments we would get into. As we got older we still argued but could hold our own ground. We learned the mature way of arguing an issue and I think we're both no worse for wear. It sure beat just one of us getting punished or the wrong kid punished. Hope this helps!
2006-10-12 09:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am laughing with you!
Oh, I understand completely. I have three girls, 11, 10 and 8, and for a while, it was a constant fight about ANYTHING.
I started separating them when the bickering started. Then, after a brief "time out" period, where they could both cool down, I sat them down, and let them talk it out, only interrupting should emotions get hot again.
Yes, it took a while, and yes, it took a lot of patience, but soon, they will learn to do this on their own. They usually end up slamming to doors to their respective rooms, coming out, and making an agreement.
And be tolerant. They are young, and this sort of behavior (as long as it isn't physical, then strict and swift punishment is in order) will soon pass, as long as you intervene now.
2006-10-12 08:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by rouschkateer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree. My kids are 3 and 5 .. and they're constantly fighting like cats and dogs, but I let them fight it out. Unless it gets physical, then I break it up ( and it rarely gets physical ) you do also have to understand though.. and I had to learn to do this, that a 3 year old just doesn't understand certian things, and when or if these things come up, you're going to have to intervene. If one child has candy, and the other one doesn't.. he's not going to understand why.. and get the reasoning behind it. You're going to have to step in and help them talk it out.
If it's about toys or clothes or books, or who sit's where on the couch.. let em fight it out.
2006-10-12 08:36:05 · answer #6 · answered by Imani 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When the children are together, underscore your expectation that they behave in a civil manner with one another. And let them know that exceptions to this will be met by their having to be in separate parts of the house. Be firm about this, so that what they learn is that they must be getting along if they are to be in the same room at the same time. Sometimes, when we have more than one child, we assume that they'll be together in the same physical space almost all the time. Allow that only when they're behaving in a civil way.
2006-10-12 08:20:17 · answer #7 · answered by BigCopyWriter 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you let them sort it out, but be present to act as a mediator. You know how mediators work, to facilitate negotiations between warring parties? You would be there to help the kids communicate well and to suggest methods for sorting things. I'm not trying to sound wishy-washy, I agree that you let them fight it out, but perhaps be present to witness the argument and make sure they are fighting fairly.
2006-10-13 22:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds good. I have read that is what you are supposed to do (although unless one of them is in danger you need to intervene). I have tried not to get involved in my kids fights but i just cant seem to!!!
Low patience levels - and i cant stand the crying etc!!
Good luck. If you can do it I might just try again myself!!!!!!!
2006-10-12 08:17:22 · answer #9 · answered by Nic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that sounds good to me. our job (parents) is to help them become independant and to be able to look after themselves in this big world. it would be very good learning for them thumbs up
2006-10-12 09:34:48 · answer #10 · answered by crazycase2006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋