I dated a girl for about a month (not serious or anything) and we're no longer dating. However, she left a sweater at my house when we had dinner there once.
I don't really want to see her again but want to give her sweater back. The only problem is that she lives a mere block away so mailing it seems a little awkward.
I also don't want to just drop it by though (or even leave it at her door in a box) because then it looks like I'm stalking or something.
What do you think?
2006-10-12 00:42:44 · 37 answers · asked by Manning on the run 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Your instincts are perfectly correct. Although you are reluctant to see her, you must call her and let her know you have her sweater and make an arrangement to get it back to her. You could perhaps say you're very busy and ask if you could drop it off at her work as you have to go out of town, or something like that?
But you must return the sweater, not to do so would be incredibly bad manners. Get it over with, it will not be as bad as you fear, and you won't have to live with shame.
You only went out with this person for a month so probably you don't know her all that well. The sweater might be incredibly sentimental to her. What if it were the last gift she received from her mother before she died or something like that?
2006-10-12 02:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by TC 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have a couple of choices.
you can keep it for a few more months and if she doesn't ask you about it you can get rid of it on trash day or give it to charity.
you can actually mail it, silly as it may seem, it might be better than looking like a stalker.
you can leave it at her house when you don't expect her to be home.
or you can just go over with it, make it quick and simple. don't act at all like you want to stay or hang out, or like you were using it as an excuse. just go to the door, say hi, how are you, here's your sweater, gotta run, take care. and then leave.....
but whatever you do, just get it done with. ....
it's JUST a sweater after all and i'm sure she has another.
2006-10-12 00:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by leavemealonestalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just drop by and give it back to her. Don't feel awkward about that, you'd be doing the right thing. It won't come across as stalking.
In case she's not home when you go there, just leave it in a bag next to her door with a little note that you stopped by to return her sweater.
2006-10-12 02:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how leaving it at her door would look like you're stalking her, you're just returning something to her. How about asking a friend to give it back to her instead, if you can't face her. That sounds more like the case, that you don't want to face her for some reason. Whatever it is, get over it, get someone to give the sweater to her, and move on.
2006-10-12 00:52:59 · answer #4 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it to one of her friends, and explain why you didn't want to drop it by yourself. If you don't know one of her friends, then just keep it for a while, until you thing it's been long enough that she won't suspect you of stalking when you leave it on her step.
I know how you feel - I still have a hand saw that my ex-boyfriend brought over once when he tried to fix something at my place. I had a hard time getting him to leave me alone after I broke up with him, so I don't want to return it and risk him getting back in touch again. And he has no real friends that I know of - just co-workers, and I never met them.
2006-10-12 02:51:58 · answer #5 · answered by locolady98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her an e-mail or call and leave her a VM. Tell her you have the sweater and if she'd like it back ask if she'd like you to drop it off or if she wants to pick it up.
If she doesn't reply within a reasonable time (1 week) then trash it.
PS...You have excellent manners for wanting to return it, very nice indeed.
2006-10-12 00:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by empress_pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just return it and leave a note saying who it is from. or get some other person to give it back. if nothing else works then throw it away or get rid of it somehow. she probably has many nice sweaters that one missing is not going to end the world.
2006-10-12 00:45:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt she remembers that she left it at your place. Therefore, if you drop it off, she may wonder who left it for her but she probably won't conclude that the person is stalking her. Even if she does realize you dropped it off, she'll probably be happy to have it back since, at this point, her sweater is likely more important to her than you are.
2006-10-12 02:50:18 · answer #8 · answered by Sara D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suck it up. Drop by her house one day and just say you left your sweater at my house I just wanted to give it back. What is the worst that can happen? You can't avoid this girl forever.
2006-10-12 01:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just take it round for her, she wont think you are stalking if you are giving something that belongs to her back...
if she is at home just be casual and tell her you are returning her sweater, if she's not have a note ready saying the same thing....
you have nothing to lose when you are doing the right thing
2006-10-12 00:53:33 · answer #10 · answered by taryn3piper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋