I have a child myself, I'm female, and am now single. I know most men would say "If I fell in love with her then I'd accept that she has a child" but be honest... would a little bit of you feel disappointed?
2006-10-11 23:20:35 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 25 the child 18 months
2006-10-11 23:32:23 · update #1
I met a woman when I was 24, she had 3 kids, we married and have now got 4 kids, and a wonderful family, look at it this way, any fool with a d**k can make a baby, but it takes someone special to be a real dad.
Move forward and enjoy your life ;-)
2006-10-12 00:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by ste73 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am 25 also, I would not have a problem meeting and eventually marrying a girl who already had a child. I would love that child like my own (eventually). Honestly i would have had a problem when i was younger as i wouldn't have been able to deal with this situation. I think most guys in their late twenties early thirties would be fine and nearly all guys love kids. I would also like to add that i wouldn't want to date a girl with a child younger than 6 months as i wouldn't want to be woken up in the early hours and would want to be able to go out on dates. What would bother me is if the childs father still sees the child. If you and i were to have 3 more children and every saturday one of our 4 children then goes off with their other daddy. Maybe i'd get over it though. Best of luck
2006-10-11 23:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by survival_paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting a partner and knowing that there's a child on the scene may not be a problem at first. However, later on when you want to spend lots of time with your partner, but can't because your partner must devote a substantial amount of time to their child then it can become a major issue. Your partner may decide they don't want any more children and if you get to the stage where you want to have a family of your own with your partner, you may feel resentment towards them and their child. Also, your partner will always be connected to their ex because of the child so that you feel you're in a three-way relationship - you, your partner and their ex. If you have no children yourself it can be very difficult to adjust to suddenly being a step-parent because you're just not used to having children around. It can be a very, very difficult situation
2006-10-11 23:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by trog 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mind at all. I think most guys don't either. What we fear most is that the daddy will come back to get laid once in a while. Theory has it that the bond of having a child together is unbreakable.
Also, its not that easy becoming a dad to someone else's kid. Will I have to pay fees and feed this kid? And if he doesn't like me?
The other problem is our friends and relatives will be against it. Especially mums.
You may not believe but i have a particular liking for single mums with young kids. In a kinky way though - lol
2006-10-11 23:35:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even though im a female im going to answer this. What you said is true,,,it goes the other way around too. If someone loves you then they will accept your children. And if you really look at things...there are SOOO MANY single moms and dads out there its scary. so i think alot of people are in the same situation. My hubby has 3 kids which he never sees because thier mom took them and he dont even know where they are. It saddnes me to see him so upset at times. I also am a single mom of a teenage son,,,,and he takes care of my son like hes his own. The bottom line is yes if someone is in love with you then they will care for your children as well.
2006-10-11 23:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by michelle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, like the lady above said.
I know it shouldn't make a difference, if you fall for a woman (or man) you should love everything about them and accept what comes as part of having them by your side. But saying that, if I am honest, I wouldn't like it personally. Maybe I'm an insecure loser, who knows, but it would put me off a relationship quite a lot. Although I couldn't really explain why, just random wierdness I guess. Sorry, not much of an answer :(
2006-10-11 23:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by Taity 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
being completely honest yes it would raise an eyebrow, its a genetic thing to want your partner to only have your offspring. BUT if the girl is worth it, then the child can end up being an added source of pleasure cos kids are ace!!
I think its swings and roundabouts really depends on the situation. you will be able to tell how the man reacts if your are up front with them from the start
2006-10-11 23:26:07 · answer #7 · answered by Mr Gravy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Loved the question, but had to laugh at the guys who wrote that the child would be reminder that the woman had slept with someone before them.
I mean really! Do these guys only expect to sleep with virgins?!
Just to let you guys know...when you're in bed with a lady, everytime she uses a 'position' thats not missionary, THAT'S a real reminder your not the first!!!
2006-10-12 02:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because it is a constant reminder that you had sex with another man. They can deal with it but it is always going to be there, when the child is older they will turn round and say you cant tell me off "your not my farther" and words to such effect.
How would you feel if your partner had a life size picture of his ex in the bedroom. How would that make you feel because that is exactly how your child will make most men feel. They can cover it up but really they are just tolerating the child because they want you!!!!
2006-10-11 23:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
look, i'm 22. if i met a woman that was between 20 and 24 (my age range) then yes, i would be disappointed because i do not want a child at this point. if i were 30 it wouldn't matter nearly as much.
2006-10-11 23:26:34 · answer #10 · answered by Fish 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋