A couple of weeks ago I told one of my best friends that I really liked him and he said that he felt the same but was a bit worried about ruining a good friendship if things don't work out. We kissed for the first time about a week later and then again soon after. We went dancing this weekend and ended up in his car. (we didn't have sex). We haven't discussed what we're actually doing and where this is going. I didn't want to push him, especially since every time we went beyond our friendship we've both had quite a bit to drink so I didn't want to read too much into it. However last night I invited him over with a couple of other friends and after walking him to his car he waited till all drove off and gave me a good night kiss. Is this the beginning of something or should I not get too excited? Would it be pushing if I asked him where this was going?
2006-10-11 22:49:23 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do not not not not ask where it is going just yet.
You're looking too far into the future. You've just begun. Enjoy it for what it is.
You have a man who likes you. He's being affectionate (kissing goodnight).
A lot of people will be put off by that question when you haven't even started dating.
Just enjoy it.
And if in a month's time you're still in limbo, don't say 'where is this going?' Tell him how you feel, and that you're ready to move on to the next stage.
The 'where is this going' line is intimidating.
Be excited, be happee, be ecstatic! And enjoy it. This is happiness hunny, so enjoy it!
Don't ruin it by pushing to have something else.
2006-10-11 22:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by Gracee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be a sign that he's beginning to see the possibility of a romantic relationship with you but I feel that you already know the answer: don't push and don't rush. It is so much more rewarding and romantic when you let things happen by itself. In this age and this part of the world, things happen too quickly. People rush into sex when they are hardly friends. You have enjoyed a good friendship so far so it can be a strong foundation for a loving romantic relationship. If you are not pushing things, you won't ruin anything. It's only when you rush into a sexual relationship that later doesn't work out that you wouldn't want to be with each other again. Enjoy a bit of suspense in the air. All the waiting gives you time to see a deeper side of each other and make your relationship stronger and more gratifying if you eventually develop it.
2006-10-11 23:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I normally ramble on about this kind of thing so I'll try and keep it short :)
Yes, ask him. You need to know where you stand, if he isn't sure about it all, you need to talk about it. Believe me, there is nothing worse than thinking something is going to come of a relationship like that, to see the other half of it (that you have completely fallen for) just suddenly walk away from it with little or no explanation. I'd suggest a cosy chat somewhere neutral, where theres people around and NO alcohol so you can both be honest and open about everything and you're less likely to get all steamy due to excessive alcohol or overly argumentative due to the closeness of other people.
Hope that made some kind of sense and was of any use to you, good luck with it all :)
2006-10-11 23:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by Taity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should take it one day at a time. You don't want to try to rush it into something. (That tends to happen when a person finds out that the other has feelings for them) Take it slow. You guys have been friends, it sounds like, for a while. Enjoy the new area you are walking into with him.
If you rush it, you may end up ruining it. And from what it sounds like you don't want that.
Since it just happened the other night, give it a few days or so to kind of roll around in each other's head. Then subtley bring it up in conversation. You don't want to force it on him and put him in an awkward position.
Good luck to you... and him!
2006-10-11 23:21:38 · answer #4 · answered by zrose86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why worry so much? Let me tell you my story. I went to a college to study. I have never been there before. I met my boyfriend there. We come from the same hometown so we have met each other but no exactly very close. There, we hang out with a bunch of friends and we started pillow fight in one of the friend's room. We were so happy that time. Next we were fighting on his bed and we accidentally kissed. But in the evening, he pretended like nothing happened. I was mad, I mean really mad. But then, at night, I need to go back to my hostel as my boyfriend then was staying with his bunch of friends. So i asked him to fetch me back but he was sleeping on his bed and he asked me to join him to sleep on his bed. I joined him then but nothing happened okay? We didn't close the door when we were sleeping. The next morning, I asked him what is our relationship then? That's how we have started our relationship. My main point here that you need to ask him what he want. You are not supposed to guess okay? Ask him whether he wants to start a relationship with you. If he want, then congrats. But if he doesn't want to have any commitment with you, then it's ok because you can still maintain a close friendship with him. Get an answer for yourself rather than being in such an uncertain situation. He's holding you for another relationship. Remember, ask him to get a CLEAR answer okay? Good luck dear
2006-10-11 23:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by bubu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just enjoy the here and now, there is no need to put the question to your friend, true friendship is based on love and affection and he is already giving you a glimpse of his true feelings by kissing you after everyone had left and wanting to have a tender and private moment with you, its just a matter of time until those feelings grow much deeper, the seed of love has already been planted by you both, its time to enjoy each others company and to allow things to develop into something great, good luck to you both.
2006-10-12 00:12:18 · answer #6 · answered by Goz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems that this guy likes you. But the friendship you had before is veiling some thing for both of you not to enjoy what you are doing right now. You have to take your time and see what he is up to. As you said it you should not get too excited.
I think he is going the right way as you are thinking. To make your relationship more pleasant be open to talk to him and try to read his feelings. you will know.
2006-10-11 23:01:05 · answer #7 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lad that takes it slow at the start of a relationship without trying anything on with u means that he isnt using u he wants a long term relationship with u. i no i was in the same situation and still with the same lad over 4 an half years now. hold shy if he is dont ask to many questions about starting a relationship with him u enjoy each others company take things slow it will happen in both of ur own good times. goodluck...
2006-10-11 23:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by helena w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I started out as friends too, and I asked about where are we going but she didn't seem to like the questions. Just wanted to take things as they come. I suggest asking him over to watch a movie, just the 2 of you. Don't go to a theater, it's not the same. My suggestion is get something funny that you both like, make him sit down first, sit beside him and eventually lay against him and pull his arm around you. My guess is he won't pull away. If he does then you have you answer as to where things are going, but I highly doubt he will.
2006-10-11 22:59:00 · answer #9 · answered by Norm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't ask him directly straight away. Meet him somewhere were you guys wouldn't necessary have a drink - ask him over for a video evening or to the cinema. If he is again moving in that direction then you might should have a talk. Just tell him that you r confused as he first said no but now seems to be up for more.
2006-10-11 23:01:16 · answer #10 · answered by daniela_aut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋