groom wants what ever i want but our mothers want a big wedding and i want a simple wedding how do i tell every one i want something nice with close family and friends and the guest list is at 200 and the cost is around $ 5000 now please help me any ideas
2006-10-11 21:25:15 · 34 answers · asked by GINA D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Maybe sit down with them and listen to their ideas, i know sometimes moms get carried away, but just listen to what they have to say. Then explain to them what you really want and the budget that you and your fiance have to work with and your idea of a perfect day. Then comes a little give and take. Although it is your special day, if there is something small you can put them in charge of that you can deal with their plans on it may save some stress and they may chip in if it's something they are actually in control of. Don't make this a major part of your wedding though, think small. In a perfect world we wouldnt have to compromise, but sometimes it just makes life easier. If they insist on everything being big, just let them know that you guys will need financial help from them. Dont forget, its your wedding, if you want to keep it small then go for it!!!!!
Good Luck
2006-10-12 10:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by legends_chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get everyone together and tell them in no uncertain terms that you want a small wedding with only close family and friends. Explain that you don't want to spend the money. At this point they will offer to pay for the wedding, this is where you say you would rather have the money for a house. They will then withdraw offer of money. If this doesn't work, I recommend that you either elope or get married right away so that they don't have time to take over the planning.
Normally I'm not a big fan of elopements. I'd be the first to say that a wedding isn't just about the bride it's about families, but your moms are trying to bankrupt you and that's not cool. You should not have to spend money on something you don't even want. Good luck and make sure your fiance backs you up.
PS - should you decide to accept an offer from the mothers to pay for a big wedding, make sure you get the money up front. there has been more than one bride who made all the arrangements and paid all the deposits only to have the promised money from parents not be there when they needed it.
2006-10-11 21:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people have said it simply, that it is your wedding and your buck so you should do it the way you want.
I think it is also important to note that with a guest list of 200 people, if you can actually only spend $5000 you would be very lucky. The caterer I work for, you would be lucky to budget the food for a wedding that size at that cost.
You can have a simple yet beautiful wedding.
Check out the fall issue of Elegant Bride, small weddings are the in thing to do lately.
2006-10-12 11:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends....do you only want a small wedding because that is all you can afford or because a small simple ceremony is what you want? If you are doing it because it's all you can afford....try talking to your mother and mother-in-law about them helping with your cost. There are lots of ways to have a big wedding and keep the cost down. Just be aware that if they are helping you pay for it, that also makes them think that they have say in how it is planned as well. If you would prefer a small wedding and aren't just doing it because of cost, then tell them that while you appreciate their input and interest in your special day, that you and your fiance would prefer to keep it intimate and share it with those people most important to you.
2006-10-12 04:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by DJ LJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard. and if I can help you at all it would be by letting your learn from my mistakes. I too wanted a very small ceremony with 20 of our closest relatives and friends, 25 at the most with a simple wine and cake reception. And what did I do, I let the mothers have a say and ended up having a $15,000 instead of my dream wedding and honey moon. I eneded up having their wedding and a stupid honey moon. Do what you want to do. The only thing that matters is that you are joining your life to the man you love. They will get over it. and if they don't, then they are not the supportive mothers they should be! I had to fight my mother in law in EVERYTHING about my wedding. You shouldn't have to put yourself through that stress, it's YOUR day. Just remember that at the end of the day YOU should be the one that is happy. I had a wonderful wedding for the most part, and I really enjoyed my day. But I had to fight all the way...and on my wedding day she wore a white dress. Just be calm and stick to your guns, at the end of the day, it your and your fiance's hapiness that matters
2006-10-12 03:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by Evelyn R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what is "big" to them? My wedding was pretty much what you want. 250 people, roughly around $6000. I was very content with what I had and I wouldn't change a thing even if I could. People can get caught up in the whole wedding day, people have to remember, it is only one day and to go over board in the long run can be a waste. My opinion is simple is better. Focus on your dress, flowers, location and decorations. Those are the things people will remember! But also remember the women in your life want to be made a part of your day, include them, give them "duties" it will make them happy and take alot off your plate too. Good luck to you and enjoy your day!
2006-10-12 04:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by jmrich51 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider having your wedding out of town. We had a destination wedding and were able to have the small intimate wedding we wanted without hurting family and friends feelings. We invited just the closet family and a couple of friends to join us and it was perfect!
You should be able to do it within your budget too! A ton of resorts offer free or very low cost weddings. You also get to your honeymoon right away!
You could also have a BBQ or something simple when you return to celebrate with everyone else, share photos, etc... when you return from the honeymoon.
Good Luck and stick to your guns!! Have what You and your future hubby want :)
2006-10-12 00:19:00 · answer #7 · answered by kimmyb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem. I finally told both my family, and his that if they wanted such a large and fancy wedding, they would pay for it. I wanted a simple wedding, with just family and very close friends. As soon as everyone saw what the cost was going to be they all backed off and let me have the wedding I wanted.
Your other option is to elope, then afterwards tell the families that they can throw you a party if they want, but you are already married.
2006-10-11 21:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by Tan Zanite 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell them, nicely of course, that if THEY want a big wedding then THEY have to pay for it! This will silence most parents, or at least bring their protests down to a tolerable level.
Tell them you'd love to have a big wedding, but the budget says that you can't and you and the groom are happy with something a little more simple.
2006-10-11 21:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the wedding you want w/the budget you can afford. Make this very clear to them. Also, be careful about letting the mothers pay for the wedding if they offer. They will try to plan everything and it will no longer be YOUR day; it will be THEIR dream day!
2006-10-12 03:30:53 · answer #10 · answered by Apple21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋