So many parents allow their underage children to drink. I'm appalled. What's your opinion?

Question

I have a 19 yr old daughter (legal age in Canada). I know she tried drinking when she was 18(she told me), but not in my house. I made it clear I would not condone underage drinking, but that I would pick her up or drive anywhere to make sure she was safe.
She is a very light responsible drinker.
I also have a 17 year old who has never tried drinking. I know because through ppl in the horse show world have told me she has refused a drink when at a event overnight and she goes to school, rides and works. Period, anyone with a horse freak 17 yr old can tell you the same.

How will you teach your child about the responsible consumption of alcohol?

Let's check back in a few years. I have one in college, one graduating this year likely with honours in sciences. I also have a 13 and 12 year old. My children so far: volunteer with local service agencies, work at the recreation department of the city, work at the local grocery store. As a family we volunteer at the local SPCA and adopt injury families(pay for the vet bills of low income families).

I am a strick parent because I want them to attain the best they can. However I am not overbearing, I like it when they argue with me. It shows growth and development.

Answer 1

Your definition of underage comes from the laws of your country -- what is it that appalls you? It sound like it is doing something forbidden by law.

Many people using this site are in the USA where legal drinking age is an unbelievable 21, so your 19 year old is 'under age' in the USA and no doubt if she visits friends in the US their parents would be appalled by you allowing your daughter to drink at 19.

My sons were drinking in pubs at 18 -- that is legal where I am, but does that appall you?

'Under-age' is a cultural concept, rules change. I am of the opposite opinion. I think many of the problems young people have with alcohol is that it has been forbidden for them.

If they were brought up with it it wouldn't have the attracttion of forbidden fruit and we wouldn't get these stupid questions here from youngsters wanting to get drunk.

Wine was on the table when my boys were growing and if they wanted some they could have it. When they were little it was a splash of red wine in a glass of water, in their teens they might have a glass with us. They very soon decided they preferred coca-cola and drink very little now they are adults.

(its legal here for children above 5 to have alcohol under their parents supervision)

Answer 2

No you're doing each little thing proper... the two my brother and that i (college age now) have been given alcohol the day we've been delivered homestead from the wellbeing midsection, it develop into continuously obtainable, by no potential locked and by no potential hidden. If we wanted some we took some. Our mothers and dads have been by no potential carefree approximately it and used it responsibly and we took on the comparable suggestions. I drink particularly now and that i comprehend my shrink so i are not getting wasted like my friends that did no longer improve up this way do. And my brother won't even touch it except it truly is a particular dinner with the full family. on the turn section i develop into by no potential allowed to dye my hair and as quickly as i moved out that develop into the 1st concern I did. So thank you for exhibiting good parenting skills. EDIT: there is a few chatter approximately it being unlawful... i do no longer comprehend appropriate to the guidelines the place you reside yet the place I stay in case you're serving on your individual little ones and are on your individual homestead it is not unlawful as long as they are no longer getting 'inebriated' and wander into public factors.

Answer 3

I think the reason that there is so much binge-drinking in this country is because it is made such a 'forbidden' thing to do when under-age. The more reckless something is considered, the stronger an appeal it has to teenagers.

I think that if people were introduced to alcohol at a younger age in a sensible way at home (for example, half a glass of wine with a meal), their attitudes to drinking would be very different, far more relaxed. The French seem to have mastered this; although they have a high alcohol consumption as a nation, they simply do not have the binge-drinking culture that England and America have.

However, I believe that when introducing younger people to alcohol it is important to drum one fact into their heads: 'alcohol impairs your judgement.' I never drank to excess as a teenage, for this very reason. That, and once having to put my drunken mother drunk after a neighbour's party age 12. It really made an impression on me!

Answer 4

My two daughters, now 23 and 26, were always allowed to have a sip of our drinks and were also allowed to have a wine with dinner on special occasions. That was the way I was brought up. It is the European way.
Both my daughters, as I was/am, viewed alcohol as something to have in moderation. To enjoy and not loose control. Both have seen what happens when alcohol is used to excess.
The legal age for drinking here is 18.
Yes there are teenage binge drinkers here in Australia. They will be everywhere. I just believe (and it is my opinion only) that if alcohol is treated as forbidden fruit it makes it more desirable to the youngsters. Take away the mystery and you take away the desire for the youngsters to experiment with alcohol.

Answer 5

Get off your high horse will you? In France it is very common for kids to drink wine with their meal, this is under their parents guidance and watchful eye. It is their culture, how dare you try and impose your morals on an entire culture? The thing is, if you start saying "oooo alcohol is soooo bad" kids will just want it all the more, because it is "naughty" or "rebellious" and a lot of kids will just want to drink even more, that's when you get kids sneakily drinking behind their parent's back, which is really dangerous, they could get drunk and pass out anywhere. In France the kids are allowed to drink with parental supervision, they don't get roaring drunk and it is not such a big "naughty" thing to do because it is seen to be just a normal every day thing in their culture. Far better to have your child have a sip of alcohol, in your house, under your supervision than getting drunk in a dirty alleyway where anything could happen to them. By child I do not mean children, but young adults age 15 upwards. I could bet you that your kids have had more alcohol than you know about.

Answer 6

On then question of alcohol itself, I have explained to my adolescent son that it is basically a low grade poison that has wide social acceptance. Indulging has short term rewards and long term consequences, and that using it outside the of legal boundaries can have serious life altering consequences. I know that he will eventually try it, and that such experimentation should be done in a safe setting, with a clear knowledge of the potential consequences.

The best way I know to influence his decisions on such matters is through my own example. I am not a teetotaler, but on those rare occasions when I enjoy an adult beverage, I do so in moderation, and I give my wife the car keys if we are out.

As far as the law is concerned, the state has no business in the personal affairs of me, or my family. The degree of responsibility I implement in my behavior has everything to do with the inherent natural consequences of my actions, and little to do with the overbearing nannyist/fascist prerogative of the state.

Answer 7

A lot of American parents allow their 18-year-old children to drink because when THEY (the parents) were 18, they were legally able to drink. A lot of Americans feel it's silly that the government is willing to kill 18-year-olds in wars, allow 18-year-olds to elect officals and vote on laws, but NOT allow 18-year-olds to have a beer after work. If an 18-year-old is responsible enough to die in the service of his/her country, and if an 18-year-old is responsible enough to participate in the political process, why is that 18-year-old NOT responsible enough to drink? It's odd.

Also, a lot of parents realize that their underage children will drink with or without their permission. My parents never allowed me to drink underage, and I've never been much of a drinker. (At 25 I still feel a little weird drinking at my parents' house.) BUT...some of my friends' parents DID allow their children to drink underage, and even provided the alcohol. Their reasoning was something like this:

1. The kids are drinking, with or without parental permission and supervision.

2. When the kids are drinking away from home, the parents have no control over what they drink, how much they drink, or what they do when they're done drinking (like driving)

3. SO...it's better to provide the kids with moderate amounts of alochol and keep a close eye on the kids while they consume it.

Answer 8

I can't say how I'll raise my kids for sure, as I have none, but as of right now I think I will teach my kids how to responsibly consume alcohol by letting them consume alcohol responsibly. I disagree with the 21 age limit here, and the 18 age limit in several other countries even. I don't know for sure, by the time I have kids I may change my mind.

Answer 9

I think that it's totally unsafe, but i do know that the number of under aged persons to consume alcohol is striking, so i would just state the law and remind them what horrible things could come of it if not used responsibly, and that I love them very much and would hate to see something terrible happen to them. Then I'd cross my fingers and hope for the best. That's about all you can do.

Answer 10

it all depends on how underage they are-late teens are ok with me if only because they will find it anyway if they really want it. i would rather have mine trying things under my nose than sneaking off and then getting into some serious situations with no one to rescue them. my son never really showed much interest in drinking- we lived in the virgin isles for a while when he was in late teens, its legal there at an early age, he tried it then and drank for a bit, and now he only drinks very occasionaly at holidays or say, once in 4 months and then its grolsch or some dark beer, and only a few.