how can i tell someone that i don't like him enough to be more than friends and not crush him completely............he confessed that he has very strong emotions for me ..........so how can i tell him that "no i don't want to be your gf"
2006-10-11 21:08:53 · 19 answers · asked by confused 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We all know that breaking it off with someone is never easy. It sucks, to be more precise, and even less fun than getting rejected is actually having to do the rejecting. Okay, maybe doing the rejecting is a little better. Anyway, if you're thinking about blowing a guy off, here are some ideas on how to give him the brush off that won't break his heart too badly -- or destroy his ego.
You're not interested. He calls and leaves a message. What should you do? Do not return that call.
And what if you picked up the phone? What then?
Then, lie. Please lie. Tell him that you just got back together with your friends. This is our very first choice for rejection. Second best is you realized that you are going through a period where you do not want to date at all and just want to focus on yourself. Sure, these excuses might be transparent -- but men feel better to live a lie than face the truth of rejection.
Another possibility, though not quite as good due to possible ambiguity, is the good ol' distancing technique. You tell him you are really busy for the next couple of weeks and will call him when things get less crazy -- a bit confusing for most men, but definitely effective and not too painful.
You really gave it a chance, but it's not happening. What should you do? Again, lie. Your friends are still your best bet. Do not tell him you met someone else recently. That smarts. Choosing someone you just met tells him he lost a contest. No one likes to lose. Another option: Honesty, within reason. If it's simply a matter of chemistry -- or lack thereof -- tell him. Most guys can survive that after just a few dates.
As much as it's going to hurt, tell him the truth. At this point, honest communication is the right thing to do. Don't be too specific if it's for reasons no human should ever hear: you smell, you are not good-looking enough, you are boring, you're an idiot -- please refrain from using these. Be gentle, but do not be too vague. Just give it to him straight and say that you're really sorry. And do not try to be friends right away. It is really tough to swallow "can we just be friends?" If you two are suitable as friends then let that relationship take it's proper course, and do not initiate it while you're dumping him as a boyfriend.
Obviously, this all can vary depending on your circumstances.
Just remember: Be gentle, lying can be good, and specificity, well, it can sometimes be too specific. And did I mention lying?
2006-10-11 21:33:26 · answer #1 · answered by Rahul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him ASAP! You can just say " you know I do like you but I feel connected to you more like a sibling than a lover.... I am so sorry the last thing I want to do is hurt you so that is why I am telling you NOW since you have already told me you are developing some serious feelings." And of course explain that this is very difficult for you to do since you do have so much respect for him... yada ...yada....yada....you get the point.*wink
2006-10-12 04:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Godsent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him now and get it over with, trust me it will hurt him but it's alot better than leading him on or letting him think different. It will just hurt him more later. Just be nice and tell him that you don't see him that way but if he wants you would love to be friends.
2006-10-12 04:12:20 · answer #3 · answered by lovemykalli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that. Just be like I like you as a friend and i want to be single right now and im not ready to jump into a relationship as of yet.
2006-10-12 04:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by *~*~*BROWN 3Y3S*~*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to be honest or it will really upset him.
Say you don't want to ruin the friendship you have because you value it enough not to want to lose it.
Just explain, I'm sure he'll understand.
It's really not your fault if you "crush him" it's something he has to deal with by himself.
2006-10-12 04:14:16 · answer #5 · answered by *Care Bear* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'i'm not really ready for a relationship right now'
'i think i have a crush on someone else'
'i wish my bro/have a bro thats like you'
i guess he'll be crushed regardless. better to tell him asap than to let it drag on.
2006-10-12 04:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by You'll Never Take Me Alive!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jus tell him nice n peacefully tat u like him as a FRIEND only,at the moment,nothing more than that,n tat u dun wish anything to ruin this friendship
2006-10-12 04:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by Western 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest as soon as possible,, he'll get over you sooner or later thats life!!! It would be nasty to not let him know asap.Juat be genlte and make sure you tell him that there is nothing wrong with him.
2006-10-12 04:12:59 · answer #8 · answered by springo88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a tricky situation.u cant get by without hurting him but u can minimise it.dont tell ur friends about his proposal and ur rejection,it'll embarrass him.take him out alone and tell him what u feel about him that he means a lot to but as a friend.
2006-10-12 04:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by archie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I usually said
"The fastest way to ruin a great friendship is to sleep with your friend. I don't want to ruin our friendship, it means too much to me."
This let's them know I don't want to date them, but that I still care about them as a friend.
2006-10-12 04:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by Tan Zanite 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋