My 4-year-old son cries everyday while going to school. What should I do?

Question

I have tried to find out if anything is wrong at school but there was nothing to worry about. The only problem I found that he is very shy at school even though he is just the opposite at home.

Answer 1

Why on earth are you forcing this child off to school? He needs to be with you more than he needs preschool. Preschool can be good for some kids, but it sounds like he is not as emotionally ready as he needs to be, so keep the poor child home. Play with him, teach him things yourself, but don't force him into school. Don't worry, it won't stunt his progress in life.

Answer 2

My son did the same thing. He too was very shy in front of new people.

It ended up being a separation anxiety thing that we had to work through. We started him slow with the school thing cutting back from a 5 day, 4 hours each day program to a 3 day, 2 1/2 hour program. We were eventually able to work through the anxiety and he is a happy and healthy 2nd grader.

If you can volunteer some of your time during the school day, you can become a classroom mom. This is a great way for your son to know that you are there but not right there by his side the entire time.

I understand the guilt you are probably feeling, but unlike some answers, I don't think allowing the child to stay home or home schooling him will solve anything. It will only prolong the anxiety he is feeling and will not give him the chance to accept the new chances in his life.

Another great idea, is to always have the same routine in the morning when getting ready and the night before he has school. Have him pack his bookbag, pick out his clothes and even talk to him about his favorite parts of school to help him get excited about going. When he is picked up from school, try to find out what the "best" thing he did that day was and use that to also get him excited.

Your attitude has a lot to do with his attitude. Let him know that you will miss him like crazy but that school is so great! Tell him about when you and his dad were in school and make it seem fun!

Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I think you have to investigate a little further because there is something happening at the school whether it be a bully or a teacher. I had the same problem with my daughter and I found that there was a teacher at the school that was being a bit harsh on her and she was taking it to heart. There was a lot happening in our lives and it was almost like the tip of the iceberg for her! We had a meeting with the teacher and explained our situation and they became a lot more understanding. Within a week the situation got a lot better! Now my daughter cannot wait to get to school everyday and really moans if she has to stay at home.

Answer 4

Heh, tough kid, huh ?

Anyway, try this : Talk to him kindly about why you're sending him off to preschool. You could also tell him all the fun activities they have there, as well as all the other kids who are JUST HIS AGE that he can make friends with.

You stated earlier that he is very outspoken at home, though this might not be the case in school. In unfamiliar territory, ANY child would be frightened at the concept of spending time away from his comfort zone.

What you could also try is strike a deal with him, but not in a business-like manner. Tell him you'll buy him his favourite ice-cream (AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR WORD !!) IF he behaves and not cry in preschool. If possible, give him this talk every day before you send him off, and after the end of the day, ask him to describe what happened in school.

If all goes well (God bless...), you will be able to see changes within the week. Remember, since your child is very socially outspoken at home, the key is OPEN COMMUNICATION.

Cheers.

Answer 5

TAKE HIM OUT OF SCHOOL!!! NOW!!!!

If you have a chronically shy child, he is probably socially behind the other kids his age and does NOT belong there yet. This is akin to sending a 1-year-old to 5th grade. He will suffer for the REST of his school years if forced to go too soon.

I promise, I speak from experience. My five year old was brilliant scholastically, but socially behind. So I kept him home until he was 6-1/2 and then he went to school. The subjects were easy for him, but he LOVED being at the head of the class and developed very nicely and now adores school. If we had pushed him to go at 5, he would be miserable and at the bottom end of his class, both scholastically and socially and this would affect his entire life.

Invest a little time in your son now. It will pay off in spades later in life. And you will probably save a bundle in psych fees.

Answer 6

I went through the same thing when my daughter went to PRE-K. I would hear her screaming from her classroom until I went out the door. My daughter was a blankie baby and when she started PRE-K we tried to take that from her.

Children go through seperation aniexty. So she had a double dose of it. She was being seperated from me and also from her blankie at the same time.

I talked to her teachers and asked them if she could bring her blankie to school and put it in her cubby hole. They said that was fine and she could use it at nap and reading time. It took about three weeks for her to really get comfortable with that and then all of the crying was gone. I also made sure I picked her exactly when I said I would. I showed her on the clock at school what time it would be. ( where the hands on the clock should be) when I would be there and that gave her a little comfort.

I also went through this when she went to kindergarten. I could here her through the school screaming. I once again talked to her teachers and they let her bring her blankie and her favorite baby to school, but she had to leave them in her back pack. The teacher also took a picture of me and her together and let her hang it on her desk. That really made things better for her. I guess between having the picture of me and her two favorite items she just felt more comfortable and secure.

If your son has something that he carries around with him all the time ask them if he can bring it to school with him or ask about a picture. Something that will make him feel more secure about going out into this big world without mommy. Hope this will help you!

Answer 7

Try to find out what the problem is by talking your son. Maybe he afraid to be alone or somthing else. Some kids can have a tough time at preschool.

Answer 8

oh my god, i'm sooo having the same problem with my daughter..i just started working,so like it or not, i have to send her to a day cay center..she's only 1 year and 3 months..

she keeps crying all day long and my husband and i have just run out of ideas what shall we do..we need extra money, but the last thing we ever want is to know that our daugther will always stay sad and cry the whole 5 days of working days..

we tried everything from consulting child psychiatrist to accompanying her by running off from the office during lunch hour. it just didnt work..still, she cries..

my mom advices me that she will slowly accept the whole new schooling environment thing..she says, time is all it takes..

i hope she is right..

i hope, your son will learn to enjoy his school as time goes by..wish u the best...

Answer 9

His environment at school is totally different frome home ad is also new to him.Thats why he is a bit disturbed.
Try to convince him that a school is a good place and also make him attracted towards the prizes if he gooes to scool . Give him rewards on going yo school.dont try to suppress hin for going to school.just with love ,u can make him to go school.

Answer 10

This kind of different behaviour is quite common in the kids and there is nothing to be perturbed about it. He may be crying because all other kids are also crying. This goes of with time. Give him three to four months.