How do I get my thin wife to eat healthier foods with me?

Question

I am on the edge of morbid obesity. My wife of just over a year is not, she is a healthy weight and likes to eat out. She likes hot, freshly cooked foods, but does not like to cook. She really likes fast foods better than anything. I like to eat with her but don't really want to eat fast food all the time, that's how I got this way in the first place. I really want both of us to be happy and fit, but she refuses to see the reasoning behind why I want her to start eating with me more, not me eating with her. I don't feel like I have much support from her, and have thought about what I can do to accomplish this on my own. Though individual goals are difficult to accomplish as part of a couple in which one person's goals are different than the others. Are there any other people going through this same problem? What kind of tactics did you use to eat with your significant other to encourage them to support you?

Answer 1

I am going through the same thing with my boyfriend and what I learned is that I have to be responsible for me and only me. Therefore, I've told him that he can have what I'm eating or get his own. He usually opts to get his own.

Since we've been eating separately and I've stuck to my own new healthy eating habits and keeping track of calories (thank you Spark People http://www.sparkpeople.com ) I have lost 24 lbs in 6.5 weeks. Combined with daily cardio exercise and strength training 3x per week of course, again, which I am doing on my own without him.

Now...he is noticing the weight loss and making lots of comments and I think he wants to start being healthy with me, but I told him that his health, while it's my concern, is his total responsibility.

You have to be a bit selfish when it comes to this. You can't control her. It would be nice if she would support you, but you have to take responsibility for yourself, ultimately.

Answer 2

Hello...beefire9, ):

I'm sorry and I don't mean to be rude at all, but your wife sounds a bit, no very selfish, and extremely lazy about cooking. She is thin for now but she won't be for long, not to mention the fact that you both will get very sick in the long run of things if you do not stop eating as you described.
Eat lots of greens veggies, salads, chicken, fish, whole grain breads, oat meal, and try to eat very little sweets but don't deprive yourselves. Drink lots of cool clean water. Get the Dr. Phil book on how to get healthy. I'm sorry, but to me if your wife really loves you she would not want to see you become over weight and have a heart attack, maybe even die. You need to think about yourself as well. I hope you don't have any children yet. Because that is a terrible way to teach children to eat. Sounds like to me she has some really bad habits, and she needs to think more about you, and you need to think more about YOU TOO. You eat the correct foods and lose the weight. She might see that picture. Be positive for yourself. It's her loss when the day comes that she looks in the mirror and no longer sees that thin person.
Good luck.... many blessings are going your way.
Have a nice day
Love yourself and Love God.
Sincerely, J ... (:

Answer 3

Basically, if you start cooking all the meals ,and leave enough for her, she may start to join you for meals. She may think that healthy food is all carrot sticks and celery, but you know better. You just have to show her that you are eating filling, healthy foods that are tasty.

I still eat out from time to time, but now I choose Wendy's over MacDonald's. I eat baked potatoes with my skinless spicy chicken sandwich, instead of fries and a burger.

MacD's is coming along with the healthy choices, but Wendy's and Arby's are still top of the list for healthy fast foods.

You also need to let her know that although you want her support, it doesn't mean she has to eat the same foods as you. But it does mean that she has to respect you enough to not eat the fast foods around you.

Answer 4

You sound like my husband and I in reverse. I am the healthy one and he is the obese one.

Some people are stubborn about changing their eating habits until something happens to change their line of thinking. His was health problems.

How we solved it: After telling him how I felt many times and him not "cooperating", I just continued to eat healthy and let him continue eating as he wanted.
Since then he has developed some problems due to his weight -which are aggravated by his weight. Plus, he was warned by the doctor. NOW he is eating healthier for the most part, though he does eat the occasional non-healthy foods. Some of the non-healthy foods he has eaten in the past make him sick now. That helps too. He has also observed how much in good health I am in.
We have been married eleven years. It took me eight years to convince him. He is 57 and I am 44.

I wish you good luck with your problem. It's frustrating, I know. Just continue to eat healthy - with or without her.

Answer 5

You're exactly right she should be encouraging and supportive. But at the same time you can't wait on her to eat with you. If your overweight and you really want the diet you need to just do it whether she is supportive or not. I know its hard without the support but i just dont think you should wait for her or that theres anyway to make her eat with you other than trying to talk it out and see if she understands or encourages you. If not dont wait for her, Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

You need to a) get her onside by explaining that you need her support and encouragement to lose weight, and b) take control, by learning to cook foods she likes that you both can enjoy.

A homemade from scratch burger or pizza with salad is so much better than the rubbish you get from the fast food places, and you know what's in it.

Answer 7

don't ever eat at fast food chains.Do what you should do without her. You will feel her support when you know that you've done your part all by yourself. You shouldn't for her to give in when you she's thin.

Answer 8

i wonder how ur wife can stay thin with all her fave foods containing soo much cholesterol....better advice her on her choice of foods...last yr my GP told me that my cholesterol lavel is a bit higher from the normal ones...and one of the reason is eating out at fast food restaurant...since u pretty much on your own,maybe u can learn to cook simple healthy food and dish it for both of you u to eat...try something like baked fish with herbs.if i dining out with my bf & he started ordering foods that i can't eat, i just simply sit there and watch he tuck in..no so diplomatic,but it works

Answer 9

tell her you feel like shes trying to sabotage you, you learn to cook, when you eat out eat salad and grilled chicken breast or fish.i fix my man all the junk food he likes and i dont eat it, im diabetic.

Answer 10

eat without her and let her see how you are improving