I've started noticing that when I get friendly with a guy, I start flirting--I don't mean to, I'm just naturally flirty with *all* of my friends--and I guess I don't actually ever expect them to respond seriously. When they DO respond seriously, however, or when the prospect of a romantic date is placed before me, I get scared. Not confused, not shy, but nervous and SCARED. And I don't know what I'm scared OF, is the thing. It's more than that "ooh, will it work out? Does he really like me?" stuff, it's something more--but I just can't pinpoint it. Does this happen to anyone else? And if it does, do you know why it happens to YOU?
2006-10-11 18:43:22 · 18 answers · asked by Casey 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you lose control of the "agressor" mode, because the guy is now taking that role. you are afraid to lose control. simple.
2006-10-11 18:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like insecurity, fear of rejection. You say it isn't but it is the first thing you say it isn't. I suppose your hoping for some adhoc reason for this, maybe you were molested or raped and surpressed the memory. You've been victimized and don't even know it. Even it that were true (probably isn't) stop looking for excuses and own your actions. You are 'scared' because you don't want to commit or share yourself physically and/or emotionally. Flirting is your way of keeping people at a distance. Making sure the interaction is just that, flirting, and nothing more serious. Try being real.
2006-10-11 18:47:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jim 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you were just flirting for fun, and then when they come back and flirt with you, you are suddenly scared because you might have to commit to them in a relationship. Thus, maybe you are scared of a relationship. I don't see any other reason why.
2006-10-11 18:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. All of us react differently. It could be normal for you. If you start flirting, take it easy. Don't think too much of it and don't start asking yourself questions you don't know the answers to. All of us have doubts at the beginning of every relationship but we shouldn't go around analyzing something we can't take control of like the future.
2006-10-11 18:47:04 · answer #4 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, it happens to me all the tI'me its called anxiety disorder. Now im not medically diagnosed, but it happens when I'm put in a stressful situation. Breath in and breath out, and you should be OK. I dont know why else you could feel that way, i mean your a pretty girl(be more confidant in yourself).
2006-10-11 18:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it used to happen to me. I ran away from girls that could have been my true love. It was not fear it was insecurity. I didn't know if I would be a good enough lover.
Let the next guy you like kiss you. Your fear will disappear right away. Be brave and kiss him. It's really not a big deal. You don't have to do it again, or maybe you will want to.
Have fun!
2006-10-11 18:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does happen to me too. And I too get scraed with the seeming attention and scared to death where it will all lead to.
I suggest you take note of your behavior and reactions to all those men you get to talk with. Always build a "wall" to protect yourself because you never know for sure what they really want.
An ounce of prevention is always good to have.
2006-10-11 18:51:01 · answer #7 · answered by sexy_mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe cause you just want to flirt and nothing else. but when a guy responds, then you are no longer in control of what will happen next. ya know.
2006-10-11 18:53:23 · answer #8 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yah this happens to me! I'm really a friendly person & smile a lot, so guys automatically assume I'm interested if I smile and give direct eye contact, soooo....yah..when they show interest I get scared too! :)
2006-10-11 18:46:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get scared because you have lost control of the flirting.
2006-10-11 18:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by Eldude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i usually doing that too, and YES i got scared like u too.
heheheeh...
It's only because i flirted not to make him fallin in love w me, only i like guys to like me.. and I did it.
But i 'run' after that, feel dun wanna go further. Only Flirting!!
So u'd better watch ur flirt system, change it be not too 'sharp', 'cause it can scare u back..hahahaha Remember this
2006-10-11 18:57:00 · answer #11 · answered by Aii29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋