Should I tell my daughters father, whom i am taking to court for 14 yrs back child support and who has had nothing to do with our daughter since she was 16(shes now 19) and he sent a certified letter to me telling me that he no longer wanted any contact with our daughter, that our daughter is pregnent and that he is to be a grandfather? We will be going to court at the end of this month and I will have the opportunity to tell him, but should I? Part of me says I should that no matter how wrong he is I shouldnt be like him but another part of me says he does not deserve to know since he has shunned our daughter. I would really love to hear some honest opioions. My daughter says she dont care wether he knows or not just that she wont be telling him or talking to him in either case. She does not want to have anything to do with him.She says its up to me. I just dont know whats the right way to go.
2006-10-11 18:19:19 · 8 answers · asked by queeniez71 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ok first off I no longer get support for her she is 19. What we are going to court over is called back child care money he owes me from the time she was born till he started paying child support when she was 14. In other word Im going to court to get him to pay me back for his share of supporting her, money I already spent on her. thank you
2006-10-11 18:39:24 · update #1
50 years ago this would have never happened...it makes me wonder how far we've come after all...
2006-10-11 18:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really has shown no interest in his daughter and has even written about it..why let him share a part of her life in which she is happy. He obviously does not want to share any joy or sorrow with her and it doesn't matter to him either way, why are you bothering to let him know. Do you think that if he knows that he's going to be a grandfather...he's suddenly going to open up his arms and embrace her and feel sorry for what he's done? No he won't so don't tell him that and it could cause legal hassles because he could tell his daughter to turn this angle against her. Don't volunteer any information to him, he could use something like 'she's a mom now, no more child for me!' so play it safe and tell him nothing till she begins to show the bump!
2006-10-12 01:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by DrSH 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From your daughter point of veiw and trust me i know it .
Its his loss if he doesn't try to contact her on his own accord, and why should he have the privilege of knowing he is a grandfather?
he doesn't deserve it ! doesn't sound like much of a father so why should he get to be a grandfather.
I do not want anything to do with my father... as he did the same thing to me but when I was 12 and to my face.
2006-10-12 02:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he said he doesnt want anything to do with her. And he doesnt deserve to know. He probably thinks that if he doesnt have anything to do with her, then he doesnt need to pay.
I would concentrate hard on receiving the child support. I dont know how it works, but federal taxes play a part in his tax refunds, if he owes child support. Look into that! You both may need it in the very near future!
2006-10-12 01:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her telling you that it is up to u, is saying that she really would like for him to know. Regaurdless of what he says he should still know because that is his blood, after he has the news, he can do with it as he pleases, & he can't say that you never bothered to let him know. He is being the aSShoLe here, & later let him kick himself in the rear, but yes tell him, that you know he don't care, but you want him to know.....Good luck..
2006-10-12 01:40:09 · answer #5 · answered by sis_jk27 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would respect BOTH their wishes and not volunteer any information. Just stick to business. Get your money and run.
2006-10-12 01:23:00 · answer #6 · answered by CatLady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that should be up to your daughter to decide. She is a legal adult now.
2006-10-12 01:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say screw the bastard. He wants out- well he's out. He doesn't get to say 'i want in' and then 'i want out'. That's not fair to you, your daugher or your grandchild.
2006-10-12 01:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by missqteeone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋