crazy, violent guy....he hits me, what should I do?

Question

Baicly the guy I am in love with (about 1 year btw), he is crazy, and I mean that, he is crazy. He's been to mental hopsital more than once, he's on medication, he is crazy. Everyone that meets him seems to instantly dislike him, my family hate him, my friends hate him, and he has no friends, I never noticed when I first met him that anything was wrong, and by the time I realized for myself how strange he was, I was already in love. He goes into temper tantrums all the time, he calls me obsessively, he cries, he screams, he shouts, and he spends 95% of his time being generally off. He is also violent, started off with just pushing etc but now it's full-on, I mean I've never been hospitalized for it or anything but still, violence is violence and it is WRONG. However I love him, and we are infatuated with each other, there is a whirwhind of passion inside me just when I think of him, he makes me FEEL so much I love him to bits, should I walk away because he really is a wreck?

there are many people who have said it's not love I feel but sympathy or pity...sometimes I wonder that same thing. I just want him to be happy and get his life on track.....

my self-esteem by the way is non-existent

I don't want to hurt him. When I think of him I just want to wrap him up in my arms like a little baby and protect him from everything...even if the mess he is in is all his own making.

I love him to death but I don't want that to be LITERAL in my case :(

Answer 1

super glue his stick to his thigh that'll cool him down

Answer 2

You know this type of relationship will not work whether you love him or not, if you are being abused then you NEED to get out of this relationship. Anyone who hits you cannot love you even if they say it all the time and if they say sorry all the time as well. You may love him or maybe it's a mix of emotion and you think it's love but it's really sympathy...you say he's sad and yells and has not friends i don't even know him and i feel bad for him. Really step back and look at this situation, he hits you and you think he loves you, and you say "infatuated" with eachother and that is not the same as love, not at all.
Infatuation is something you have with some hot sexy latin guy when you go on vaction in some foriegn country, it's not love.

You have to walk away even if you feel bad for him, because he is a wreck you need to leave so he can't get help... You can help him find help but you staying isn't good for you.

Well i wish you the best of luck in your decision and i hope this helps. : )

Answer 3

Run, don't walk!! Get as far away from this guy as fast you possibly can before he ends up sending you to the hospital, or worse yet, the morgue. If he's really as "crazy" as you say he is, you are not safe when he is with you. And if his anger outbursts are getting more and more violent, then that can mean only one thing. He most definitely will cause you great bodily harm.
You owe it to yourself to get out of this relationship because it can never be a real relationship. This guy will never be able to give you what you need, which is stability, safety and sanity.
Please....please, don't stay with this guy! There are toll free hotlines that you can call and they will help you get out of the house safely. Call them!! You'll be glad you did.
Good luck and God bless!
Jill

Answer 4

Well dahlin, it sound as if he is making you crazy! And well needless to say, That's not good! You may have really good, strong, loving feelings toward him, but i have news for you. Those feelings are there because you feel sorry for him and you are letting him bring you down! You are better than that, and from the way it sounds you have a family that cares and friends that care so PLEASE GET AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN! It is not to late but don't let it go any further or he is going to use you as his personal stress reliever and believe me that's no fun. You are a human being and no one deserves to be treated that way!
And if you think that he is going to try something crazy when you leave him do not be afraid to tell some one, it might save your life!

Answer 5

You should walk away from anyone who is violent toward you. He needs help and you can't help him. He will not change until he gets help. You will be doing him a favor if you stop being his target. There is nothing wrong with being alone. You do not need this person in your life right now. There is not a chance that you can love someone who hits you. If so, you need to work on your self esteem. There are lots of support groups for battered women (and men) and it is free to attend. Call your local county health department and they will give you the information. In the meantime, please be careful!

Answer 6

Will you still love him after he finishes beating the crap out of you? He abusive,get out. I heard this story so many times and some women fail to realized, you can't change a abusive person by still loving them. I know you want to help him... But, you can't. Look how many times he hit you and yet you continue to let him.
Think about yourself your life is worth than love. You sit there looking up in the screen right now reading this while you could be finding a way out safe. It doesn't matter how much you love him I know you do but by showing you do get him to the psychologist soon.

Answer 7

Your mental state is just as bad as his is. And you need professional help also before he kills you... and yes he will eventually.... especially if it started out as pushing, escalating into "full on" as you put it, then it'll escalate into you get hospitalized, then he'll end up killing you when it escalates again.

You spent nearly all of that paragraph talking about what is deeply wrong with him and only 1 sentence saying what is good in your relationship. YUP you have problems. Get out if you value your life.

And I'm not sure, but this question seems a little too FAKE to be true, no one in their right mind would tell themselves to stay in a relationship like this.

Answer 8

You know it's easy for people just to say leave him and not even explain why. I understand that you care for him and that you have a deep love for him. Just because a person does someone wrong does not mean that one can just stop loving them. I know how you feel... i recently got out of a relationship similar to that [minus the beating] and it took me a while but once you get used to it, you find yourself again. It's like you can breathe knowing that you're not a bad person for not having your world revolve around him anymore. Am I making sense? I know love is good and love is great but girl, you need to know how to love yourself first. Imagine if this situation was happening to one of your friends or a sister. You would be concerned for their health and well-being. And we as people, especially women, need to be looking out for our own well-being/ health. He is not the man for you because you know what? A boyfriend is supposed to be a friend. When's the last time your friend controlled or hit you? Best of wishes to you.

Answer 9

You are right to say you are infatuated but you are wrong to say it is love. Even if you have feelings for this guy he needs help that you can't give him. And since there is violence involved you need to walk away, and walk away now while you still can. The most you can do is pray for him.

Answer 10

Find him a therapist, and get him medicated. Girl, if you are putting up with violent fits and he is hitting you, you may need some help too. You can not put up with that because it only escalates, you said I have never been hospitalized for it, but that is just because it hasn't escalated to that point yet.
There is no good excuse for that and you need to help him realize that can't happen and if it does then you need to get out of it, love him or not.

Answer 11

Honey, I didn't read any of the paragraph you wrote in further details. I didn't need to. If he's crazy and violent you should walk away, immediately.

He attracts you because deep down your primate subconscious knows that if he's aggressive enough to hit you, he's aggressive enough to defend you and your young from other males and predators. It's a case of evolution gone awry.

You don't need him to protect you and there are lots of guys out there who will love you enough to defend you and any children you might have without being controlling abusive assholes. Leave this guy and go find one.