Ok so here's the situation. have an ex, who ive known since we were 12 (im 22 now). we were together this past summer but then broke up (again). but we continued to see one another regularly (no, not just sex). but now im back in college for my last semester and i go home maybe once a month.... so basically, i love him and he loves me. he claims hes not sleeping with anyone while im away. but then again he also says he doesnt want us to get back together, specifically not while im away at school. so im kinda confused about whether i should date and/or be intimate with others. obviously, he wouldnt want me to, but i feel like if that was really the case, then we'd be together. plus being away at school can get very lonely without meeting people. but sometimes i feel guilty going on a date, like im cheating....what should i do??
also...he knows how i feel about all this. his answer is usually that if i really wanted to be with him, i wouldnt date others, period
2006-10-11 18:10:05 · 10 answers · asked by Courtney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just to clarify...we are NOT in a relationship right now and do not have any spoken or official commitment to one another at the time...
2006-10-11 18:21:40 · update #1
This is a toughy. It's your last semester, so I assume that means you'll be coming home afterwards? I bet he is dating other girls. He just doesn't want to see another guy with you.
Thing is, if you are commited to him, don't go out with other guys who want a relationship. If they just want to date for fun, that would be okay, but if it's a guy who is interested in a relationship, I wouldn't do that until you know for sure with your ex. You don't want to string this person along. Remember, it's not your ex's feelings that are important, not that his feelings are unimportant, but he took that chance of being hurt when he broke it off (I'm assuming he broke up with you cause of school?) Try to consider the feelings of any new people you date. It may not work out with your ex, and you don't want to hurt a potential boyfriend.
So yeah. You've got to make this decision. You can either try to work it out with your ex, or you can call it quits completely and date other guys. I don't think you can have it both ways.
2006-10-11 18:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by New mommy 2010! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. The answer to your question is no you should not date others. The reason I say that is because if you really want your ex back you will focus on that only and not being with other guys. I don't know whether you know it or not but being intimate with others is not such a healthy idea. Its no harm in saving yourself for the man you love and want to be with someday. Surely if he have any feeling for you at all, he would not be pleased if you were seeing other guys. As far as being lonely at school, my advice is find a nice church that has services going on all the time or study your bible. Thats one way to occupy your time so you don't be lonely. Last but not least to help you in the near future, when you don't quite know the answer on what you should do or how should you treat a person, always ask yourself would I want this done unto me or how would you want someone to treat you. Now, would you want your exboyfriend to date and have intimate relationship with other young ladies while he makes up his mind whether or not you all are going to get back together? Hope this advice help answer your question.
2006-10-11 18:30:38 · answer #2 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He says he does not want to get back together?? That should give you your answer right there- it sounds like he is cheating - and does use you for a little more than sex- he is jerking you around- your relationship has been something very familar and long- so it is difficult to quit= but you need to- end it and get it over w and get on w your life- he is jerking you around = open your eyes and take an honest look- it is not what you want to see or hear= but there it is = D
2006-10-11 18:17:40 · answer #3 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with him wanting to atleast wait until your out of school, but at the same time, your entilted to be with anyone you want. Maybe you both should see other people or simply dont. But I believe that what happens happens for a reason, and change is there, maybe soon you will find someone else, that youll end up loving more that you could ever think?
2006-10-11 18:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by lil_carebear2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No..don't date other people...!
2006-10-11 18:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by mada m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering that he doesn't want to get back together, I would move on if I was in your place. He doesn't want to get back together, but yet he won't let you date others?? It doesn't make sense.
2006-10-11 18:13:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-02-20 04:31:33 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU AND HE WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER THEN
GOING OUT WITH OTHER GUYS WOULD BE WRONG.
BUT SINCE BOTH OF YOU ARE IN COLLEGE, IT WOULD
BE MORE STRESSFULL TO CONTINUE A REALTIONSHIP
LIKE THIS. BUT ONLY YOU KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, GOOD
LUCK.
2006-10-11 18:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dating others is trashy and is cheating on the one you love even if the other does the same
2006-10-11 18:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by Valley Mental Health tooele Utah 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on how much you really want to be with him. You already know what his reaction would be.
2006-10-11 18:11:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋