Should I tell my bf that...?

Question

I have a very good male friend, like we can talk about anything. I want to hang out with him, but if my bf knows that I have a very good single guy friend, he will be jealous and paranoid.

Should I tell my bf or not? Is it ok that I just go hang out with him until my bf finds out and then explain to him?

Answer 1

just go tell him. If you really love him you would tell him no matter what he thinks. I know its really hard, but you have no choice. If you think your bf can understand you go tell, if he doesn't understand you then he is not seriously love you. Sometimes at some point you have to tell someone even he/she annoyed or jelous because its your job to tell him/her. If you keep things to yourself, prb arises, its better to relax yourself by telling your bf. Remember think double times or more before you go tell him because there are ways you have to tell this. put yourself in his position and see how your reaction would be.

gud luck!

Answer 2

If your boyfriend was hanging out with some girl when he wasn't with you and they were seen all over town, and you found out either from others or by catching them out together--how would you react? Would you trust his explanation since he was not up front with you? You can't talk about anything with your boyfriend? Personally, my boyfriends were always my best male friends. Most guys who claimed they wanted to be my friend actually wanted more. They wanted me to replace my boyfriend with them by doing things with them such as talking on the phone all night, going places, even wanted sex. I refused to let anybody get in the way of my relationships with boyfriends I really thought were very special or that I really loved. Luckily, my boyfriends and I always were on the same page on the issue of friends of the opposite sex. We didn't go over their house or hang out with them a lot or talk to them on the phone A lot. And if they called while we were together, we made small talk and got off the phone after a couple of minutes (Personally, I always told male friends who would call, "I'll have to talk to you later: Keith, my boyfriend is here"). I did have this one boyfriend when I was younger who told me he had a good female friend. He would talk to her on the phone at his home, but hang up when I came around. He would even drive her car sometimes. He spent time hanging out with her (this is what he told me) and if he went to her house, it was nothing going on because there were always a lot of other people there partying. Well, I went to his house unexpectedly one day (my instincts made me) and do you know what? His female friend was there, only she was also his new girlfriend. She had been spending a lot of time alone with him and they had sex several times at her home. He played us So I do not trust the idea of any guy im with doing what you are doing, not with a female single friend or a female unsingle friend to be honest. All that I can say to you is just be fair. If you would not want your boyfriend spending a lot of time talking to and enjoying even "friendly" dates with a single, female friend, then don't expect him to be happy with what you're doing. I think it would be okay if you first tell your bf, then introduce your bf and your friend to each other.

Answer 3

What can you tell this very good male friend that you can't tell your boy friend. Your BF should be your 'best friend'. If you can't share your feelings and our conversations with your BF then maybe both of you are dating the wrong person.

What kind of 'good male friend' would hang out with another guys girl friend. Way-so-not-cool. Grow up girl friend. It's OK to want to be with your BF all the time and tell him how you feel. The GMF is a Turkey Vulture waiting around to feed.... on you when your BF dumps you. Think about girl.... The GMF is in a win-win position. You tell the BF about him. The BF dumps you and he, GMF ends up with you. What does it feel like to be played?

Ask yourself this question, are you ready to accept his good female friend? Maybe you can accept it but remember it takes two in a relationship and he may not. I think you already know the answer to your question. Ditch Mr. Turkey Vulture and focus on your BF. NOW!!!

Answer 4

It's never easy to find out about something that has been kept from you. Normally, honesty and openness is the way to go with mature adult relationships. But I don't know your boyfriend and if he is the jealous type, chances are he has some growing to do. It's tough -- I know you don't want to lose him. And you probably feel like it's lose-lose: you tell him, he gets angry; he finds out later, he gets angry. But if you guys are in it for the long haul, your honesty will go a long way toward building the trust that every relationship really needs.

Here's another thing to consider: Are you more emotionally intimate with your male friend than with your boyfriend? If so, that friendship could prevent you and your boyfriend from being as close as you might want to be. And also consider that if you don't think you can share as much openly and honestly about yourself with your boyfriend as you can with this friend, then maybe you should be dating guys with whom you feel more "yourself." Just something to consider.

Good luck! Listen to your heart -- be the person you want to be.

Answer 5

Don't tell your boyfriend, just act really suspicious whenever you go to hang out with your friend. When you come home lie to him about where you have been and when he calls you go in the other room to talk to him. Basically, give your bf every reason to suspect that you are cheating on him because that will definitely not make him jealous and paranoid.

Answer 6

Im in the same situation at the moment. I have chosen not to tell my bfr.Im of the opinion that what he doesnt know wont hurt him.These days a female cannot have a male friend because its always assumed that ur cheating on ur bfri. But u need to do what is best for u.If the guilt is too much for u then tell him about it nd i guess if he really loves nd trusts u he will learn to except it in time. Best of luck!!!!!!

Answer 7

If this guy is gay then your boyfriend wouldn't care. If this guy is not gay then ofcourse he is going to care and this guy is not listening to all of your problems because he's just a friend. If this guy you are talking to makes you feel so comfortable that you can tell him anything then you are calling the wrong guy your boyfriend. The bf is the one you should be able to tell anything to and if you can't tell him anything I wouldn't invest too much time and emotion into that relationship. It is a trust issue. And if you can't trust him enough to tell him all of your feelings and things then why should he trust you with this guy?

Answer 8

Tell him immediately. If you don't and he finds out on his own...there is no way you'll be able to convince him that your just friends.....if you come forward first...even if he freaks, he'll know you were honest with him. Better yet, introduce them and hang out with the three of you for a bit and let him see what kind of guy he is then you should all get along just fine.

Answer 9

i agree with tpchick22... it will look like youre hiding something if you dont tell him. if you like this guy friend then you have a problem but if you are really just friends than your bf should understand. i dont think you have a very healthy relationship if you have to lie so you might be forced to choose between your friend and bf - which could suck but could save a lot of problems later

Answer 10

How about being honest with him,Or don't you think he deserves it.
If your so worried about it,why are you still doing it.It sounds to me like you've chosen him over your boyfriend anyways.

let me ask you this,you said he would be jealous,and paranoid.Does he have a reason to feel that way?Or are you assuming this.

Who knows maybe he has a very good female friend,and he doesn't know if he should tell you.How would you feel then?