What will he end up doing & was I wrong for taking his rights away??

Question

Well the father of my child is Muslim(Nation Of Islam) and we just recently had a baby girl she's 2 months old.He's 23 and I just turned 26.We've been dating on & off for about 5 1/2 years.Well we wanted a baby together,anyhow we conversed about marriage alot.During my pregnancy he treated me real bad & started to really act his age.His father keeps calling these meetings(about marriage).I have chosen to let him go & do what he wants b/c I know my worth.It hurts but he doesnt seem to want it right now.He seems confused sometimes.With the pressure of his dad it pushes h/away.Well we had a BLOW out arguement saturday and he disrespected me unbelievbly(the talk was about child support,he's paid none and he thinks its to much)well we were supposed to all meet.Me,him & his dad.He was excited @ first but when I brung up child support thats when the arguement and insults flew.He made it to where the meeting had to be cancled.I told h/he couldnt see her until I file a order b/c of h/disrespect

He's always disrespecting me by cursing and name calling when things dont go his way and it hurts and makes me sad.I dont want to be like that around my children.But they feel it when Im sad.His parents believe strongly in marriage and his dad says we need counseling and as soon as we except we can start a family.Im not sure thats what I want anymore

Answer 1

Grandpa should be staying out of this. Grandaddy did not get you pregnant. He HAS to pay child support. Has to. Get a laywer, go to court, sign the papers....whatever it is you need to do. Make him pay child support. Don't feel bad about him not getting to see his child. These are the rules...you either help finanically and see the child or you sign away your parental rights and it costs you nothing but you are out of the child's life.

If you don't think that is what you want anymore, then keep your child away from hostile environments like that. There is no reason your child should have to grow up watching you being disrepected.

Not too sound too harsh here...but I have had my "fun" with a few Nation of Islams too. To me, I don't like the culture. I feel very disrespected. It seems as if they have the mentality that women are lower class and should have less privlages than a man. Do you want your girl growing up thinking she is not as good as a man?

Answer 2

When a couple has different religions or different cultures, things start to clash and arguments start happening, especially once the children come into the picture because one parent wants the child brought up in this way and the other parent wants the child brought up the same as he/she. It's too late to cry over spilled milk, but you should have expected this. His father is a bit too controlling for my taste. I already know his father just wants to "put you in your place" and run your house like he runs his. If you two need a counselor, it should probably be a licensed and neutral person--not a relative to either of you. That's just like a man that you don't need to disrespect you and insult you. He Should support the baby he helped bring into this world. And he should also get to see his child if he's not an abusive and crazy person. You were right and don't doubt yourself and don't go back to him now that you've left. Things will not get better in your home if he's the same--if he thinks, talks and acts the same. nothing will change so just move on and let some other weak-minded woman deal with all that crap. File that CS order and don't look back, just raise your child--even if you will be doing it alone, it's better than in a verbally or physically abusive home.

Answer 3

First of all this is between you and him not you him and dad. He needs to start taking responsibility for his part in the baby's life and you need to ask yourself if you want to take your daughters father away from her. A lot of times when a child is involved the child becomes a pawn that the parents fight over when the baby is innocent. Think about what you want for you and your daughter and if you feel you can raise her without him do it. If you still love him then try to reason with him and ask him why he would deny his child anything? The baby was conceived in love and she deserves to know both her parents, money and you probably need it still isn't worth denying your baby her daddy. You need to be careful with the fighting in front of your baby and neither of you should talk badly of the other parent to her or in front of her. Let the courts decide about the child support and you work on making you and your daughter happy either with or without him. A baby isn't a reason to marry someone only to divorce and ruin 3 lives. The best of luck to you and put your daughter first.

Answer 4

You have a two-month old to deal with. You don't need a 23 year old man who behaves like a two-year old. His father has nothing to say about this, the child belongs to you and him. Seek advice from an attorney about getting child support. Any man who shows that much disrespect certainly doesn't deserve to be around you or a child. Good luck!

Answer 5

Look, you have to do what is best for you and your baby girl. And he should not be talking like that to you, especially in front of her. You also need to set an example for your baby girl. Becaise when she sees and hears her daddy disrespecting you that way, she's going to grow up to believe that is the way women should be treated. My child's father cursed me infront of our five year old son, and I just totally cut him off. I do not want my son growing up disrespecting any woman in any way, shape, form or fashion. And what's even worse, when your baby girl gets older, if you continue to let him disrespect you and talk to you anykind of way, she is going to grow up thinking she can treat you the same way because she sees her daddy doing it. The time is now to take a stand while she is still young. You need to tell him, If he has to talk to you infront of your child (or anywhere or anytime at that) like your less than a human being, he doesn't deserve to see niether one of you.

Answer 6

You are better of without this whole family. Good side if you terminate his rights they will legally have no access to her. Bad side you lose any chance at child support. If you can raise her on your own - do it. Your baby girl doesn't need this drama in her life.

Answer 7

it think you are in the right you are doing the right thing girl you stick to your guns you carried that child for 9 months not him if he wants rights to her he needs to do the right thing and either (i hate to say this but....) pay for her or dispute it out in court you just keep it up remember just think how he treated you he may also treat your child like that you just stick up for what you belive in

Answer 8

Sounds like he has a insecure problem & is immature piss him off & make him pay.