is anyone else tired of people that judge your depression?

Question

I am so tired of people telling me to deal with my issues and get off medication! I am dealing with the issues I have, but there are so many types of depression! I have genetic depression, my dr thinks I'll be on meds for life with the number of relapses I've had. It just makes me crazy that people think you can just "get over it" IT IS NOT THAT EASY! It also drives me crazy when people say "what do you have to be depressed about?" don't assume you know everything about everyone. Anyways...it just makes me want to scream, and I think it's ruining friendships...what do I do?

Answer 1

i know EXACTLY what you mean and i say it everyday. (read the last question i asked) my family/friends do NOT get it. it is so frustrating because its a real disease, just like high blood pressure & diabetes. when you have diabetes, no one tells you to "snap out of it", because they know the disease is not your fault. well, it's the same thing with depression, but NO one sees it that way. i have hereditary depression just like you do, bc my dad has it. unfortunately, my dad was never around so it's hard to explain it to someone you don't even know.
but i know just what you mean, and i am so tired. i keep saying the same things over and over again. i got in a big fight with my mom, because she STILL doesn't understand it (i've had severe depression for 5 years now). i keep repeating the same things to everybody, but it just seems to make everyone upset. so, i've stopped telling people now. i just keep things to myself because i know that if i told anyone how i really felt, i'd get more upset. i know it's not good for me to lock up my feelings, but i'm just so tired of it.

have you ever considered keeping a journal? that helps me a little, because unlike people, journals don't judge. even before i had depression i had friends that had it. and i never judged them, so i don't know why people are so judgemental about this serious subject. it's very annoying. also, whenever i talk to my mom and my close friends they just say, "why are you depressed? what's causing it?" As if i know!!!

Answer 2

If you haven't already, tell then what you've just told us. It is possible that they really have no idea what they are talking about and that they truly think that your depression is something that you can "just get over". Many people don't understand that depression can be genetic - they feel as though you're not dealing with the problems that you have. Understand that people are incapable of understanding depression until they have experienced it - it's the same way that people cannot understand the hurt a person is going through if they lose someone close to them, or what it is that drives people to cut themselves. Some things are beyond the realm of understanding without experiencing - try to have tolerance.

Be honest with these people, tell them that you're doing what you have to in order to function at the level you are right now, and that you don't appreciate their judgements. Tell them that you'd really rather they not confront you about this, because you're dealing with it as you (and your doctor) see best.

As uncomfortable as it is, "honesty is the best policy". If you can get them to understand that thier words are hurting you like this, they will stop.

(If they still are unwilling to accept you after you tell them this, accept that this is who they are. We all have our shortcomings, you can't pick and choose. Tolerance is key.)

Answer 3

Yes, I get frustrated with that too. People who have not experienced depression can not understand what it is like. Some are well meaning but say terrible things. I used to work as a R.N. on a psych unit and had some idea, because of having had depression myself, but when I got profoundly depressed 6 years ago, I found out that I had had no Idea of how bad it can feel.

I'm less depressed now but am still so depressed that it is bad. I try to not talk about my depression or anything related to it. Sometimes that means I don't have much to say and do a lot of listening.

The thing I hate the worst is the people who say that no one should take medications. I always speak up about that and try to inform people that depression is a physical illness that causes psychological problems. Most people still don't get it.

I do think that the more other things you can talk about with your friends, the better it will be. Having depression is not the only thing about you. I find that the more interested I get in other people and talk to them about what's going on in their lives, the better social things go. I do remember, though, when I was so depressed that I could only be interested in me. I hated that but couldn't change it. I just had to grit my teath and bear it, do the best I could, and endure it until things got better.

I have come to be aware of how insulted atheists get when anyone talks about God, but I can't in concious not say something of how much God has helped me on this terrible journey. I am so grateful to him for the help He has given me. I would have died without His direct help.

Answer 4

I don't think it is ruining friendships because those people who make these statements are not capable of friendship. Lose the ill-informed, judgmental people and go for the understanding, compassionate ones!

One thing good about depression is that you can empathize with anyone else who suffers from a mental illness.

Answer 5

I know what you mean, that's why I avoid telling people all together so they won't judge me. I also have genetic depression, (thanks mom) I have been on meds for 2 years now and I have gotten off them but had all kinds of bad side effects so I went back on them. It's alright don't let others bring you down, just ignore them!! What are they to you anyhow, only worry about your family.

Answer 6

Most people don't understand that depression like you have is a mental illness. You don't need a reason to be depressed. That is why it is called illness. Ask them if they need a reason to get the flu.

Find friends who also have a mental illness, they will understand. And it's ok to scream, it helps to dissipate stress.

Answer 7

Yes. And I don't discuss it with those that tell me what to do. If they keep it up, I dump them They are not really friends

Sometimes I ask if they are doctors or ave ever had the problem. When they say no, I try to let them know they don't know what they are talking about.

There are support groups. there are those with the same problem; help them if you can and feel good because you tried. Don't hang out with negative people. They only bring you down.

I wish you well. I try to remember they are only trying to help.Thank you for letting me get it out.

Answer 8

i have this same ploblem nobody sees why iam depressed nobody gets it they keep on teklling me that it can be worse but i cannot seem to see it like that , all i do is cry

Answer 9

Amen sisterr. THAT can make you MORE depressed!! And you get MORE confused about what to do!!

Answer 10

FEAR BREEDS IGNORANCE. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS FEAR WHAT THEY DO NOT COMPREHEND.JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP SO YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO BOND AND VENT WITH OTHER WHO DO UNDERSTAND AND CAN VALIDATE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU.
BEST OF LUCK,
DODA