Do girls really take this long to figure out their feelings?

Question

I've been dating my (first) girlfriend for a little over a month now, but prior to us making things official I was pursuing her for 6 months- during that time she always agreed to hangout whenever I called. I'm not sure whether she's being really cautious, me being her friend boyfriend as well, or if she just isn't interested. The reason I say this is because I am usually the one to intitate most things, even as a couple. Where I'm confused is that when we're out she'll hold my hand while were walking, if I'm not the one to hold her hand first, and she'll say things like "we should do this...or go here sometime..." So it seems like she's saying/doing things to show me that she wants it, but it seems like I'm the one putting more effort into the relationship. After a 7-8 month period, is it still possible that she doesn't know what her feelings are for me? Do girls really take this long to figure out their feelings? What's going on?

I meant to say "me being her first boyfriend". I know she was approached by a couple of other guys, and she always told me about the, even when I didn't ask, and I thought she wouldn't tell me these kinds of things unless she felt something, but there are days where it's easy to think "yea, she likes me" but other days where it doesn't feel so sure of a thing

Answer 1

some girls just enjoy being friends better than being in a relationship (example i was talking to this boy for a while and he asked me out a lot of times and it took me a long time to decide what i wanted to do so i just avoided the situation for a while so every time he brought it up i would change the subject which he really hated when i did that i was just so scared that it would change or friendship then after a lot of times of him asking me out i finally said yes and we went out for about a month and a half and things started to happen we got in a lot of arguments and then we stopped talking we Neva officially broke up because that's how bad it was we couldn't even speak to each other but we haven't really spoken to each other since then and before we went out we were almost like best friends and now we don't even talk we just wave and keep going on about our business.)
so don't pressure her give her time it always works better like that.

Answer 2

Maybe she wants you to do more of the planning, but she's being helpful by suggesting what she'd like to do so you aren't left guessing what it is she's interested in. That's a really good sign when a girl says "WE should do this or that". First of all she's saying "we" and she's implying that she wants to hang out again in the near future. She's basically saying she likes you. If you want to hear it in her own words then just ask her how she feels about you. Maybe she's not good at planning things. And she leaves that up to you. But still gives her input. Just talk to her about it. Tell her that you feel like you are always making plans to do with her and you want a little more effort on her part to do things for you. I'm sure she will understand. But you have to ask her. Be more communicative with her. Girls love that.

Answer 3

She is thrown off just as much as you are. I think it is nice to date a close friend, they sometimes turn out to best mate.
It is still kind of the beginning, If you really like her be patient with her. This is a whole different side of her that your seeing now and the same goes for her. It is very romantic actually. If she says things like we should do this sometime or go here sometime, then do that. Continue to be her friend, her best friend, her boyfriend. You get three people in to one beautiful person. Take your time and try not to worry. The more you worry, the more it will start to show, and then she will worry.
Remember she is your friend. Also don't be afraid to talk to her.

Answer 4

She could be shy about it. Maby she wants to hold your hand, but feel's uncomfortable asking fot it or taking your hand. Obviously if she didnt want to hold your hand then she wouldnt. I was with the same girl for almost 9 years, and there was still some things we wouldnt talk about, Even tho we both knew it. But also after my 9 year relationship ended last month i can say this, 1 sided relationships can work, But they dont usually last long, And when they do (my case) it makes it that much harder to finally end it, apparently its not hard for the other person

Answer 5

some of us dont open up wright away because we arent sure if we want to take the chance of being hurt some of us dont bounce back very fast after being hurt so we take a long time to think things over and maybe thats whats wrong maybe if u ask her it might go faster or u could just wait it really depends on how much u like her if u like her that much give her the time she needs dont rush her or it may not go u'r way

Answer 6

Well, why don't you sit down at a nice time when all in a good mood and be straight and ask her. Say it feels like this....I observe that. I think that.....get away from the YOU word which typically brings on confrontation.....but simply ask.....or start making more suggestions or in other ways giving the input to be sure that you are meeting each other's goals, dreams, desires, thoughts and so on.

Remember: Communication is important. Also. communication isn't easy.......Enuf said.....

Answer 7

Welcome to man hood, men still haven't figured out women, now sometimes, when your younger, being perused by someone is actually more fun than having a BF or GF thats why there are so many breakups in teen kids, now what you should do is sit her down, and calmly express how your feeling to her, don't pressure her on what you want her to say or what you want her to do

Answer 8

OH SHUTUP! She likes you! Maybe she's shy and is confused about her feelings. Do you guys kiss? Do you live far away from each other? If you think back I bet there's one time she has invited you somewhere?
And YES! It takes a long time for a girl to figure out her feelings!
It takes time buddy.

Answer 9

Maybe you should let her know that you feel you are "tired" of intitating most things. So let her know, that you'll love it if she did too. And girls do love the chase from guys? Feelings does change.

Answer 10

We are all different so when I say no, girls dont take long to figure out if they want to date someone I'm speaking for myself. Either way, if you feel her distant, you are probably right. She might not be as into you as you are into her. Talk to her and see what she has to say...