I just ened a relationship I was in about 3 months ago, because the guy I was with really did something that broke my heart, so I broke up with him. It's been a hard process, trying to get over my ex that is I still love him very much but don't see us getting back together anytime soon. But my problem is lately I've been having other guy's interested in me but I'm not ready to let anyone close to me right now. I'm not ready to let myself love anybody or let anyone fall in love with me. I just want to focus on getting myself together mentally, and emotionally. Don't get me wrong I am polite about not wanting to date anyone, But I can't help but feel like my ex-boyfriend kinda messed it up for any man that comes after him. Because I'm no where near as sweet as I use to be, I'm not a b*tch but I keep people especially men at arms length. Does this make me bitter?
2006-10-11 15:10:10 · 11 answers · asked by Ms. Educated 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are not bitter or a b*tch and the way you politely discourage guys interested in you proves it. It is normal not to want to look at another guy after a break-up, especially if you are still heart-broken and not over it. Getting yourself together is the best thing you can do. And plus it would be unhealthy for you to move on to a new boyfriend and still be looking back and stuck on the old one. Trust me, I know this personally. Some people say a new love can help you get over a old one, but that's not true. New loves just distract you from experiencing the mental and emotional pains of the old love. In other words, moving on to a new love before you are ready just gets in the way of your healing process. Your new relationship wont last if you are not giving and sharing all that is needed mentally and emotionally for it to survive. And the new boyfriend will feel used and hurt. So just give yourself as much time as you feel you need.
2006-10-11 15:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were really hurt and need some more time to get over it. You shouldn't force yourself to get into another relationship if you're not ready. 3 months is not that long to have ended a relationship and so I'm not surprised you need more time. Don't rush yourself, give yourself as much time as you need until you feel the anger has gone away and you're ready to let someone else in.
2006-10-11 15:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, after a long relationship that obviously meant a lot and the fact that it ended badly gives you a reason to try to start over and regroup. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better and don't worry what other's may think about the way you are acting.
2006-10-11 15:15:21 · answer #3 · answered by Meagan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, not at all. Its only been a few months and it sounds like you had your heartbroken. If you were still upset and not dating after a year or so, that is when I'd say you might have a problem. Just try spending time with your friends and mend your broken heart.
2006-10-11 15:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your obviously having some subconscious feeling's about your ex, try being happy, alright Ima help ya, because only I, and my close friends use this.. Think of a time before your exboyfriend when you were -really- happy..what were you doing?--It don't matter what you were doing, because that feeling of joy is always there, you can't take it away, you can try to bury it, but eventually you'll figure it out, I'm just trying to give you a shove.
Hope this helps..(",)
2006-10-11 15:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by A_2__the__E__Adrenaline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a word - "yes." But it's all part of the grieving process, as with any profound loss. It takes time to come around.
2006-10-11 15:35:19 · answer #6 · answered by Ecks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. Your just trying to get yourself together before you fall in love again so you don't get hurt or hurt someone else. There is nothing wrong with that.
2006-10-11 15:16:13 · answer #7 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way, you're just smarter now. Eventually you will find a guy who will soften you up again. You really have to train men and it's easier to be hard and soften up than to be soft and harden up, right? And good idea, take care of yourself right now!
2006-10-11 15:17:58 · answer #8 · answered by morgan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow your past feelings mess up future feelings.You might let that one pass u up by having bitter feelings from the past.
2006-10-11 15:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by togreen2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...It's only been 3 months. You'll start to relax after a while.
2006-10-11 15:14:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋