My son is a 9th grader in high school and has been avoiding this kid for a few weeks that is continuously trying to instigate a fight with him. Last week the boy cornered my son in the hallway and aggressively tried to edge him on into a slap boxing fight. Eventually the boy slapped my son and thats when my son dropped his bag and raised his fists but never hit the boy. At this point faculty came. My son was suspended, given a citation by the police department and scheduled for a hearing for alternative school. The principal is adamant in saying that it was mutual combat because my son raised his fists. My question is, would my son have been appropriate if he had balled up in fetal position and cried? The school says they have to be very strict on policies due to the shootings in school across the nation. Well these kids are aware of the shootings across the nation too and are scared. What do I do as his parent when he talked to me and staff about this kid and now he's in trouble?
2006-10-11 14:40:26 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
His dad lives in Florida and has not returned our calls yet. As for walking away, My son didn't expect the boy to hit him, but he slapped him so hard he left a hand print in is face and his eye was swollen. Putting up his fists was more reaction because he still had time to hit the boy back but did not.The principal even took him to the nurse because of the mark on his face
2006-10-11 15:16:25 · update #1
School yard bullies, have been around since schools started, and I guess they always will be. When you and your son go to the school, hold your heads up why, and tell the truth. He has a right to protect hisself. Does your son have any friends that will say that this bully has been after your son? If he does, call the these children's parents and ask if they will give permission to let them talk to the school board.
Your son done what anyone would have done in the circumstances. He had enough. You can only push people so far till there is a breaking point, and I think your son showed amazing strength and character when he didn't strike the other kid. He was tried of being pushed around, and he took his stand. I am proud of him, and I hope that when you go before the school board that they will see that he didn't fight back, but he damn sure didn't run anymore.
Schools have to be tough with all the nation's programs with the shootings. They should be tough, on the bullys. Your son doesn't sound like he needs punishing, he needs a pat on the back. I pray that they don't send him to alternative school, that would ruin him. If he hasn't ever been in trouble at school before, and is a good student, I hope that his teachers, and fellows students come to the hearing and testify in his behalf. My son got into trouble, and his teachers and his classmates did this for him, and it swayed the panel. My son did something stupid, but it wasn't intentional, he just forgot, (he had a tool in his pocket that he works on his saxphone with the night before) he got caught and was suspended.
Mom this is so upsetting, and how are we suppose to teach our children, when the school system is condoning this kind of behavior and punishing the kids who don't need it or deserve it.
I am scared too, and I pray that we all can come together and find a solution...and I believe part of the answer lies with getting rid of the school yard bullies, not kids like your son who want an education without fear.....
God bless us all..............
2006-10-11 15:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very upset i always taught my sons that if even if you did not start it then finish it because then the bully will know you are not scared of them and they will leave you alone. But now a days you never know. Also why did the other boy not get suspended ? Did the faculty even see the incident and what really happened ? sounds like to me they are going on what was told to them. I would sit down with every body and get things straight . Apparently somebody forgot that you all sat down and talked about this before the incident . If they want to push I would push back as his parent.
2006-10-11 21:49:20 · answer #2 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i completely understand ...ever since i had children i have tried to teach them to be nice to everyone no matter what..even if they are getting picked on because in most cases the instigator just needs a friend or help their self..but as they grew older things are getting out of control..why should i teach my kids that if other parents aren't..i am sick of my kids getting picked on and i have now told them to do whatever they thought was right at the time.i told them not to start a fight but they had better finish it and i mean it .as far as your son i hope he didn't get in trouble by you he was only protecting himself which is natural.and i would of taken my son to the doctor and sent the other boys parent the doctor bill..they keep paying those bills they will maybe start teaching their son better.as far as court just explain and if the judge sees it your way great if not,i am afraid there is nothing you can do....have the principal testify about taking him to the nurse...did the other boy get in trouble good luck to the both of you ...i hope your son gets well
2006-10-11 22:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by JENNIFER D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You son could have turned around and walked away when the other kid slapped him, instead he CHOSE to stand and raise his fists in a combative stance. At his age he should KNOW the school rules and how to abide by them. I suggest the both of you suck up and deal with the fact that he CHOSE to take a fighting stance and that fighting is not permitted on school grounds.
2006-10-11 21:56:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get an atty and call the board of education. Get a hearing. A hand print was left and not a mark on the other boy...something isn't right here. At least suspend them both. Had you gone to the school and talked to the prin. about what was going on?
2006-10-11 22:45:16 · answer #5 · answered by wiazardofoz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put him in Karate. It teaches discipline, respect and for most, how to deal with bullies. Instead of telling you and the faculty ( who obviously didn't do anything about it), He ( or YOU since YOU are his mother),should have gone to the principal directly to tell him/her about this bully. I'm sure your boy would not be in this predicament if these steps were taken. Now you can learn from your mistakes.
2006-10-11 22:36:01 · answer #6 · answered by Timitra M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a nephew he is in the 6th grade in a small town in tx the class bully really had it in for him my nephew bought a bible and took the time to underline all the appropriate passages the bully was confused he had to take the time to look thru it now he stays away but my nephew did tell him if this cure your problem with me i will meet you on neutral ground
2006-10-11 21:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did your son's dad say about it?
2006-10-11 21:43:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋