3 months after a guy used abused and cheated on me i still have him on my mind. i dated others but its just not the same....and i try to keep busy..i even went on vacation
2006-10-11 14:25:21 · 18 answers · asked by DIANA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It takes time to get over being hurt like that. Three months isn't
really that long. Be patient and keep doing like you've been doing.
The day will come when you'll realize that this guy's just a memory you don't care about anymore. His only effect on your life
will be to recognize what warning signs to look for in a relationship. Good luck.
2006-10-11 15:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by Alion 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry you had to go through something like this. His actions came from immaturity. See, when a man is immature in a relationship, it is either because he has not had a father figure in his life, or he has some type of homosexual tendies that lurk from the depths of his childhood. You on the other hand, you have been so used to getting rid of guys and dropping them, due to effactaution. Unfortunateley, you still love him! The question then is, does he still love you? The answer to that is usually yes, most guys that acted the way he did, presumubly hung around a lot of masculine figures (known as the boys). This plays a major role for most guys. He will react to you in such a way a guy would to another! Now you are in love with someone, who is an ***. To get him off your heart, you cannot do the things the both of you did together. You cannot be in the same environment that led you to your emotions in the begining, and you must put on different perfumes and fragrances that would not remind you of him. And if there are things he gave you rid them! Sorry to be so blunt, but I went through this before, and I know how this feels! A matter a fact, go to www.lifecoach .homestead.com and give us a call, I'll even give you some free help, to teach you more in depth on htis situation! You'll get through this!
2006-10-11 21:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by Amorpheous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going on vacation isn't the answer, eventually you come back. You haven't dealt with the abuse, rejection, and the other issues that are still inside you. Get it all out of you with a trusted friend, and give yourself time to get over it. 3 months isn't very long. But you deserve better than what you got...You are a worth while human being. Treat yourself as such.
2006-10-11 21:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe see a therpist. After being abused and cheated on I couldn't imagine going out and dating for a while. This must have caused a lot of mental and emotional abuse. Seeing a therpist could help alot and maybe help figure out if there is an underlinging problem you're thinking of him and not able to move on.
2006-10-11 21:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsy Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's another abuse story... I met a girl who had been abused as a children. The horror had persisted on her mind until adult age (she is in her twenties now). So as I asked her out, she somehow mentioned how much that abuse had hurt her and how she mistrusted guys ever since... OK... But, was I responsible for that? Come on, just overcome the past. It's not easy, I know. And I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. But hey, why go around rejecting every guy, well intentioned as he is, just because of that trauma? Will this girl stay single forever? Will she date girls maybe? Hopefully she is not the only girl on earth.
2006-10-11 21:32:14 · answer #5 · answered by zap 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean...I never dated this guy, but I really wanted to date him...However, I hated him because of what he did to me..At times he made me feel great one minute and the next it was like I was just another girl he was friends with...when we talked...I could tell him anything and he understood...and made me feel better..but than out of nowhere..he stoped talking to me...he told me he liked me...but didn't think that he wanted a girlfriend right now...I was hurt..but I was ok to be just friends with him..hoping that one day...our relationship would become something more...but than I found out from his best friend that he was seeing someone...I was crushed...all I wanted to do was cry...and all I did was cry...every time I thought about him..saw him...heard a song, he listend to...it would remind me of him...and it would start all over again... I hated him for a while..once he started talking to me again...I was a ***** towards him...than I forgave him...but now he has stopped talking to me again...and while I am hurt and angry with him...there is still a small part of me...that will bend over backwards for him..If he, out of the blue, said that he wanted to go out with me..and see where things went...I would....but than I think about how he treated me...and even though he didn't want the same thing I wanted...he could have just told me that he just wanted to be friends...instead of lie to me..and ignore me...I am a very understanding person....and sometimes too forgiving...and to this day...he is still on my mind...thinking about...what if...what could have happend if only....
You just need to forgive him...and understand that you didn't do anything wrong...and he is the one losing out...that you would have done anything for him..and you will find someone who is going to treat you right..and he is never going to cheat, use or abuse you...Also...as bad as this sounds..."what goes around, comes around"...
Hope I helped....
:)
Also...I really hope you understand what I am trying to say...It all made sense in my head...but I don't know if it sounds the same when I wrote it...
2006-10-11 22:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I dont know what else to tell you except that you get over it with time. Imagine not being able to look at onother man for a year(me) without thinking of all the ways he could hurt me before even speaking to him. Sometimes I didn't even bother to speak. You loved him. Its as simple as that and you are still in a state of disbelief at how things were.
Tell yourself that you are special, as we all are, and that you deserve to be loved by the right person and that he is out there looking and waiting for you. Now forget that good for nothing son-of-a-b*tch and go find whats yours.
2006-10-11 21:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by Carrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that you are one lucky girl!! The guy did you a favor, you are the lucky one that is rid of him. Be glad you are not the one he is abusing now. Replace the hate in your heart with realizing how smart and lucky you are to be rid of scum. If you think about him, you have to laugh because he is so pathetic. By now he probably has a disease that he is passing on to the losers he dates.
2006-10-11 21:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who does it hurt for you to feel that kind of hate? It hurts you and it would probably make him very happy to know that you are hurting because of him. Let it go. Free yourself. Thank God that you no longer have to put up with the cheating and abuse. It is a gift to have him out of your life.
2006-10-11 21:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well speaking from experience I found a GREAT man and he took my mind off of the other one. I got lucky but you have to find a good one to treat you like you should be treated and you will forget about the other one in no time. Trust me
2006-10-11 21:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by mom of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋