My Fiance and I haven't anywhere to live, other than the woods, and his parents said that they would only take us in if we were married and would also provide them with rent payments.We have only been together for five months, yet I love him and would do anything at this point, to stay off of the streets. WHAT SHOULD I DO???
2006-10-11 14:18:50 · 27 answers · asked by Amanda D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You know, in ideal situations, it's not wise to rush into marriage, but it's rare that people are in the ideal situation. It sounds like you're in a bind. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do in order to survive.
If you and your fiance are already engaged, what's wrong with getting married? Isn't that the point of being engaged? I say go for it if you're comfortable. If you're not, then you may want to look for alternative solutions.
2006-10-11 21:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by SedaCanela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 months, and you love him? it takes alot longer to really know a person deep down before you can decide if you love them, You said you would do anything to stay off the streets which means you would jump into something like a marriage? You're looking for security, not love. And have you thought about what you would do if you get pregnant? Why hasn't Mr. Wonderful provided you with a permanent roof over your head? Can he support you financially? Does he have a job? If you two would provide his parents with rent payments, then you guys should be living somewhere else besides the woods.
2006-10-11 21:25:12 · answer #2 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT GET MARRIED. Statistics show you will end up divorced. People get married because they love each other and want to have children and build a future together. Any man worth his salt will be able to support you during pregnancy. I've worked with five women in the last five years who worked through pregnancy and every one of them almost lost their baby and ended up in the hospital and then on required bed rest to prevent early labor. It's not politically correct to talk about it and you won't hear about these sort of statistics on the news, but work and pregnancy don't mix. Why are you even engaged to someone you just met five months ago? It sounds like this is more infatuation than realy love. It takes about a year and 1/2 to 2 years to get to know someone enough to know if you want to marry them. You would be marrying for security, which is a guaranteed divorce down the road. You should get Dr. Laura Schlesinger's book "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Screw Up Their Lives." Where are your parents and can you live by yourself with them until you have job and are on your feet? Buck up and get some backbone and do not make one of the biggest mistakes of your life. How unfair and miserable would it be if you end up pregnant and realize your mistake after having one or more children? Children deserve both their parents. It would be terrible to deprive them of a father just because you need a roof over your head at this moment. And if this guy can't provide you with a roof over your head, why has he even asked you to marry him? My husband says young men think of sex constantly. He also says young men will do almost anything for regular sex, including getting married. You already know what the right decision is. Tell your boyfriend he will need to be gainfully employed and have a stable life and income before you will consider marrying him. Also tell him until the marriage there will be no sex. See how quickly he is likely to drop you like a hot potato if you take sex out of the equation. As Dr. Laura would say, "Now go do the right thing."
2006-10-11 22:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by LadyLgl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't a good idea to rush into a marriage. Ever...You really have to be ready for a commitment like that. I don't think being with someone for five months is long enough to even be thinking about marriage, let alone living together. I think you should be thinking about yourself right now. Try to stay with relatives, get a job, support yourself. How can you think about being married if you aren't able to do that much?
You need to be able to take care of yourself FIRST and foremost before ever getting married. Get yourself stable: get a job, a place, to live, a car....keep dating, but worry about yourself. If you still love him a year from now, two years from now, etc. Fine. If you still want to get married, go for it. But don't rush into getting married just because you'll be homeless if you don't. Rushing into marriage IS NOT the answer!!!
2006-10-11 21:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A little more info would be nice, how old are you, how old is he, why are you homeless, where are your parents, why don't either of you have jobs??? Rushing into a marriage is never the way to go especially if you have only been together for 5 months.
2006-10-11 21:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the Salvation Army and ask for help. Explain your situation to them. Rushing into marriage is not the answer. Or go to a church and ask the pastor for help. He/she should know where you could go to get off the streets. Also where are you finding a computer to use if you are homeless? Must be the library. While you are there, ask them where you can go in your town to find Social Services.
2006-10-11 21:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by papricka w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can pay rent to them why can't you pay rent for an apartment? Maybe they are just charging you alittle and not a full rent payment. I think you should ask your parents if you can live with them, or another family member and let your b/f move back in with his folks. Why they would force you into marriage when their son has no way to support you is beyond me.
2006-10-11 22:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, pull yourself together, then get a job. You may have to live in a shelter for awhile until you get enough money saved for an apartment. Do not rush into marriage!! Especially under those circumstances. When you get situated, and then decide to get married, one word of caution......................Stay away from the in-laws!!!
2006-10-11 21:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by Jillybeanyweiney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T RUSH marriage is a difficult thing and you have only know each other for 5 months. I understand you don't have a place to live but marriage is nothing that should be entered into lightly. But good luck
2006-10-11 21:46:25 · answer #9 · answered by mom of 2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not rush into marriage you may wake up in a few months and ask yourself what did I do. Get a apartment of your own, living with his parents would not give you two any privacy either.
2006-10-11 21:33:01 · answer #10 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋