Firstly I am not a racist.
I know a lot of races in my area & they are all sad and insular, I want to cheer them up & tell them jokes about themselves & let them see th lighter side of life in preparation for when they do meet a true racist.
Please, tell me all your funny jokes.....
2006-10-11 13:53:56 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Immigration
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better. The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living.”
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill.”
"Not kill? We're not interested."
So God went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honour thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are." We're not interested.”
Then God went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."
Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments." The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit adultery." "Not commit adultery? We're not interested."
Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."
...........There, that ought to offend just about everybody.
2006-10-11 14:10:41 · answer #1 · answered by toietmoi 6 · 24⤊ 5⤋
An elderly Jews wife dies and at the wake his friend Moses tells him he should sell his house and get a council flat. With the proceeds from the sale he can live like a king.
Amos thinks this is a good idea and says he will do it. Two weeks later Moses comes round his house and asks Amos why he hasn't sold it and got a council flat?
Amos tells him that he went to the council and was taken up stairs to a small room where a man opened a book and asked his name and religion.
He told the man his name was Amos and he was Jewish with that the man shuts the book and tells him he can't have a council flat.
Moses shakes his head and says thats not the way to do it. Go to the council and say your names is Fred Blogs and that your Church of England and you'll get a council flat.
So Amos does.
He is taken upstairs by the same man who thinks to himself thats the Jew from last week. He opens the book and says whats your name and Amos says Fred Blogs.
The man thinks - no its that Jew from last week.
He says what religion are you and he says Church of England but the man thinks he is that Jew from last week so he decides to test him.
Whose the son of God he asks. Jesus!
Where was he born - Bethleham!
Where in Bethleham - Iin a manger!
Why in a manger because he was a Jew and couldn't get a Council Flat!!!!
I think this joke pinpoints the problem with rascim.
2006-10-13 11:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by Aerroc 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Whats the difference between a black guy and a paki?
Half an hour on gas mark 5.
What did the Muslim kid say when asked about his ambitions?
I want to be just like my daddy when I blow up.
Where is the best place to hide something from a negro?
Under his work boots.
What do you say to a negro in a suit and tie?
Will the defendant please rise.
Whats black and shuffles?
The dole queue.
2006-10-12 08:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
Why do Black people sleep in the nude?
Because Nike don't make pyjamas
What do you call a white guy dancing?
An epileptic seizure!
A man in a Japanese restaurant calls over to the waiter to make a complaint. "Waiter! This meat is rubbery!" The waiter replies, "Ah! Fank you velly much!"
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jews fighting over a penny
2006-10-12 00:55:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 3⤋
how many american cops does it take to change a light bulb none they just beat the room for being black
2015-07-16 17:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now I see what you mean (Im working backwards from your last post)... What a bunch of babies! Geeze! Report this (shows her as*s) you tools!
Anyway... I digress.
What happens when you stick your arm in a jar of jelly beans?
The Black one steals your watch!
LMAO! My sister in law told me that joke and she is black AND from Argentina! LMAO!
2006-10-14 14:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
A plane is going down, they toss the luggage and empty the hold they are still losing altitude when the co-pilot goes to the back and tells the passengers that they are going to have to throw out a few to lighten the plane and save everyone else. So he says they'll go alphabetically
"a's Africans" no body stands up
"b's Blacks" No body stands up
"c's colored" a little black kid says "daddy, didn't you say we was colored?" and hi daddy said "not today boy, today, we is Nig9ers"
2006-10-11 14:22:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 4⤋
did u hear about the woman who fell asleep outside the
Vatican?
She woke up with a heavy dew on her.
yes, i said dew. Anything else must B your sicko imagination. Must have been Autumn. its in the Davinci code pre-edit. my lawyers are onto you. no inference involved.actually a joke by a comedian of certain decendance whos well known. cant say who but u know.is he racist?im not. im sexist.
2006-10-11 14:43:39 · answer #8 · answered by mexicanroadfuzz 2 · 3⤊ 5⤋
I must admit you have a nerve !!. And you have sent all the babys amongst us into a hissy fit.I always say if you cant laugh at yourself you shouldnt laugh at anyone and i think most of the highly strung twits who have answered ought to be..... highly strung that is.
2006-10-12 08:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by keg 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
We should call Gordon Brown, he can get a load of young new labour in here.
What do you call a chinese paedophile
Pok em Yung
2006-10-12 00:49:34 · answer #10 · answered by madnesscon 4 · 9⤊ 2⤋
These jokes are funny.
2006-10-15 12:03:02 · answer #11 · answered by hammerthingy66 4 · 7⤊ 3⤋