how to deal with depression without taking anti depressants?

Question

I'm a single mum divorced over a year ago.Although i had a masters degree but I've just finished doing my second masters after the divorce. I thought i'd be ok if i studied more, would find a decent job. I had a target to achieve. But everything seems to be falling apart now.I've lost all hope and confidence. I dont think i can work at my present state of mind. I dont get out of my house much except for taking my kid to school.I dont have much friends as my ex didnt like me to have friends. Just cant seem to move on with my life. I've thought of seeking counselling but i dont want anti depressants and i'm not too comfortable with the idea of going to a shrink, no offence to anyone. Maybe someone can advise me what to do, somone with similar experience as mine

Answer 1

So dont go to a shrink go to a womens center and see if they have support groups for single moms. Sounds like you have no support from family or friends and need it. You need to get a hold of this problem for your son's sake. When Mom is depressed its hard on kids.Some other things you might try are : volunteer at a local homeless shelter(so when you go home you realize how much you have), start taking walks every day so you get the maximum amount of sun in the winter and at least 20 to 30 minutes sun exposure over the course of a day (dont forget sunscreen), start taking vitamins and drink a lot of water, help out a your childs school and remember that to a person like you a high achiever a divorce is a failure in your mind. Remember to only accept that which is your fault not what someone else thinks is your fault. Accept and forgive yourself. Failure is not the opposite of success really its just the start of another round. If you dont feel comfortable going to womens center your family doctor can refer you or you can call and info on support groups from your church perhaps. Some churches have groups that meet there this might be an option. You have two masters degrees then research this and see that all of these ideas have validity, none will harm. All good luck to you.PS. I read the other answers and all I can say is that I think we are too fast to put someone on meds these days some depression is normal and part of the healing process and meds sometimes make it worse.

Answer 2

Depression is a tough subject to deal with without a doctors help. There are many things you can take if you go the a health food store. My advice is to force yourself to get up and go jogging every morning, even if it's only 5 minutes at first. Some sort of exercise will give you back your confidence and it's great for clearing your head - it gives you time to think positive thoughts while you're running. And just take one thing on at a time. Whether it's studying, or making new friends or getting that job, doing one at a time will help you focus, keep you motivated and you will feel so AMAZING once you've accomplished your task. And last but not least, prayer works well for miracles.

Answer 3

Have you tried herbal alternatives to anti depressants? St Johns Wort is the only one that is clinically proven to work and I found it a absolute god send when my brain oozed out of my ears a few years back.

Currently I'm using Quiet Life tablets - made by those who make Calms and they again are herbal and just ease some of the tensions of very day life. These are very very very mild sedatives and it's this little lessening of tensions that can make all the difference between bawling your eyes out because you've missed the bus, or thinking - oh well, now I've got a bit longer to read my book.

Talk therapy is great (counselling) but don't think yo can only get this from counsellors. Sometimes, just having that conversation with the person in the shop, or helping out that old man down the road and listening to their grumbles/joys can be very therapeutic.

Hang in there.

Answer 4

Someone has already mentioned the natural 5-HTP, and I wanted to add a word of support for this... It is wonderful... When you have depression, there are lower serotonin levels and less of the important sleeping stages... 5-HTP allows serotonin to be made in the brain and this not only helps with the sleep but also with the depression. It truly is fabulous. Previously, I had tried everything you had but my depression was not reducing itself... But then I got a food allergy test and it showed me that even some of the healthy foods I was eating (randomly such as bananas or lettuce) were actually not personally good for my system. It also highlighted my system's need for 5-HTP, the precursor to serotonin and melatonin... I began the supplements, avoided certain foods shown as reactive and incorporated more of others that were shown as beneficial and a week later I was feeling incredible. I wish you such a serene journey into healing. It IS possible... Believe and Trust.... You'll make it....

Answer 5

anti depressants might be the way forward. taking any chemicals is always a temporary solution, but its still a hope to hold on to for the short term, and from what you've said it seems you need to focus on that.

don't look too far into the future right now if you're in a panic at the moment, you've got more important things to think about now rather than the outcome of your goals. you can deal with that when it comes. you're going to be unhappy unless to attribute these feelings to a particular frame of mind which you have to avoid. dont be lazy about that.

you dont want to keep this all to yourself obviously.. but you want to find someone trustworthy. that's why going to a doctor is the best idea; at least if he doesn't look like he gives a shrimp, at least he wont blab or judge (well, he shouldnt). it's important to express how you might feel about that and, why you now feel differently about your targets.

this is advice which i should really be telling myself.. do'h!

btw what larry said was quite funny.

Answer 6

Hi. I'm sorry that you feel this way, I've experienced something similar. It sounds like your ex terrorized you? Not necessarily physically, but psycologically?
The only advice I can give you, is to talk to somone. That might be your family as well as a psycologist. And the good ones rarely give you pills if you clearly state that you don't want it. What they do, is listen and try to help you to find the deeper source of your depression. And then they help you resolve the problem. Maybe you should join a group close to your home? One of them 'help-yourself' things? They can come in handy.
Anyways; Stick to your oppinions! Do not, under any sircumstances, take anti depressants! They're addictive and hard to stop taking! Good luck!

Answer 7

I have been severely depressed before. I almost killed myself, and I was taken to a hospital. There, they referred me to a physiatrist, and was put on a treatment. I am not too sure if the assessment I had worked so well, but the medication that they gave me seemed have worked. They do not give you medication if you do not want it, but I can tell you that it actually helps to feel better, so it might worth thinking of it.
Also, at the time when my depression got worse, I really did not have many friends as I had just moved into a new town, and the person I was with did not like me to have friends. But I managed to find a part time job, and I made a lot of good friends there. I was not able to talk about what actually got me so depressed to them as I was not comfortable to talk about it, and I still am not, so we always talked about other things such as annoying customers we had, funny things happened etc. But it still worked. It somehow made me feel better. Now I think abut it again, I probably needed someone to talk to, as I was so lonely. If I did not have that job, I would be dead by now.
When you are depressed, it is actually pretty difficult to go out. I told my manager that I was depressed, so when I had to take day offs due to this, he was so understandable.
At the state of your mind right now, I strongly recommend you to seek for a medical help first. I think it maybe difficult for you to go on job hunting right now. I got the job simply by luck, but if I had to do normal job hunting I would not find any, and even if I did I would be fired. And I recommend you to find someone to talk to. It can be anyone, and you do not need to speak about your depression. Believe me, it helps.
As I have mentioned, medication is something actually works, so I think you should ask doctor about if you should take it, but do not forget to mention that you'd rather not take it. So if there are any other things he or she can offer you, then he or she will. Once you feel better, and then set yourself a new target and work for it to achieve it. But right now, your target is to feel better, so do anything you can for it. And it will work out. You'll be fine. Trust me, you'll be fine.

Answer 8

hiya, ok i went through the same about 18 or so years ago. i spent 2 years in an extremely dark depression and i was having severe panic attacks. i tried going to the doctor but he wanted to put me on anti-depressants but i turned them down as i felt they wouldn`t help in the long run.
ok the cure i found....i was going through my local paper and found an advert for tai chi. among other things the advert said it`s very good for depression. i felt i had nothing to lose by going. i went along and joined. at first i found it fun which took my mind of all of my problems but i really can not explain how after 3 months i started feeling great about myself. my mind started feeling much clearer, all the problems i had were still there but i had a new confidence to tackle them. there is something about the exercises that u do in tai chi that balances the mind. depression is caused by a trauma that in turn causes a chemical imbalance in the brain that can snowball out of control. the exercises in tai chi restore the balance naturally. it takes about 3 months of doing it once a week to feel the full effects although each week u will notice a change in ur mental attitude. u wont get any answers out of the tai chi teacher as they seem to like to keep the art shrouded in mystery. doing this u will solve a few problems mainly, depression, confidence and u will make friends. don`t worry about the martial arts side of it (fighting) that takes years to achieve. for about the first year u will spend doing gentle exercises and learning the form. i did tai chi for about a year and a half. the only reason i gave up was because the trainer moved the class to a different area and i had to give it up but it got me out of an extremely dark depression and turned my life around. have a look around to see if u can find a class near ur area and go along and have a chat wiv the trainer. it`s worked for me and i know it`s worked for others.
one thing i will say.......well done at getting ur masters degree and ur second masters degree. thats one hell of an achievement!!!
please take my advice on wot i`ve just talked about. it really does work. i`ve never suffered from depression since and that was 18 years ago. the very best of luck to u. u can email me if u like, i`ll try help any way i can

Answer 9

I have been in your situation and I could not afford counselling. I did a lot of research on the net and it started me off with cutting out some things in my diet. Cut out alcohol, caffeine, chocolate and white refined sugar. Drink as much water as you can and exercise to get your endorphins moving, and gets lots of rest. I also took evening primrose oil which is a natural remedy and valerian root to help me sleep.

Answer 10

When a friend of mine had depression, her Doctor recommended exercise in the fresh air. Walking every day really helped her.
Best wishes....I hope you will get back to the way you used to be and it won't be long before you get your confidence back. (\(*:*)