Do I have a right to be angry about this?

Question

I have a serious pet peeve against family members and friends not calling me at a decent hour or at all for that matter. It has been happening to me a lot lately especially with friends. I will call them to see how their week is going and I'll try to be friendly and leave a message. Yet, they usually do not call me back. This has been bothering me a lot. I know people are busy but, can't they find 5 min tues out of their day to return a simple phone call?
Do I have a right to be angry about this?

Answer 1

Honey,you have every right to feel anything you want.You don't have to ask ANYONE if it's okay to have your feelings.But if you're asking if anyone else would be p!$$ed. YES!and in the past I've had that happen,and I just quit calling them.And I mean QUIT calling.A little while may pass before they realize they haven't heard from you.What I did was let the answer machine get it a couple times,before I answered their call.When they ask you "why haven't you called?" politely tell them,the phone works both ways.And if you're to busy to get back to me,then far be it for me to keep clogging up your answer machine! And stick to your guns,don't call. And honey,if they don't call at all,that right there should tell you something. Don't get hurt,just get out and make new friends.If it's family,you can kick their @$$ to the curb too. You don't need people in your life that don't have time for you.Get on with life and don't waste any more time on them.Take care and God bless

Answer 2

I am a teenager, and I understand what it is to be busy. It can also be annoying not to have your calls returned when you took time out of your day to make the call. Make sure you set a great example by returning messages and phone calls efficiently. Then you have a right to be angry. Since unharbored anger does us nothing, let your family know how you feel. They probably feel the same way when their calls go unanswered. Ironically, a good way to let them know is by hinting at it the next time you leave a message.
Trust that this small problem can be fixed, and make an effort to do so.

Answer 3

Set boundaries about how late or early a person can call you. I've told everyone I know to please not call before 9:00 am or after 10:00 pm because I like my quiet time. Pretty much everyone respects that (except my Dad forgets once in a while), but I just remind him the next time we talk and he won't do it for a while.

This world has gone crazy. With all these forms of communication available to us, you'd think we'd find the time to actually talk to a friend once in a while. But I find the older I get the less I can get friends to return my calls in a timely manner. I consider 48 hours a timely manner. Part of the problem is that I am single and don't have kids, so I have a lot of time to chat and stay in touch. Every single friend of mine is tied down with kids and stressful relationships and crappy, life-sucking jobs. The people who have to talk to people at work all day absolutely do not want to talk on the phone in the evening.

It's a sad commentary on our society, but it's a fact of life. And I am in total agreement with you.

I just tell myself when I leave a message "She knows I'm here, she knows I'm thinking about her." and leave it at that, otherwise I will go crazy. It's rarely personal and is more likely indicative of who THEY are and what THEIR life is, not about not wanting to talk to you.

Don't be angry though, it's going to continue happening and it will probably get worse as we continue to try to jam more tasks into our 24-hour days.

Answer 4

Maybe...
I can relate to your friends and family though. I get so many calls, that often it is difficult to find the time and energy to return them all in a timely manner. Also, it seems that if I call a friend back, it's not a quick five minute call, but a half hour talk. It's not that I don't want to talk, but I only have so much time in my day and I need some for me, some for my kids, and some for my husband. Have you thought about communicating through email? I find it much easier to answer emails--I can do it on my own time, when my family is asleep, and I don't get tied up.

Answer 5

Yeah you definitely have a right to be angry! You need to tell you friends and family that it's a "two way street" and that when you make the effort you then expect them to make the effort to call or contact you too.

I think that's just plain rude if you have left them a message and they do not bother to call you back.

Maybe try not ringing them or returning their phone calls for a while and see how they like it!
Good luck!

Answer 6

You know - you could call and leave another message that says,
"You must REALLY be busy, or sick, or dead - because I know you would not intentionally hurt my feelings by not calling me back. So I hope that is the case......"

There - you have let them know that they hurt you/made you angry - and at the same time you drew a line in the sand that says in a subtle way - "Okay ****** you better have a good excuse for not calling me back." At that point- most people will call you back with either an excuse - or you have made them mad enough to call you back. LOL

Answer 7

Yes,you have the right to be angry. However,I don't think you should bring it up with family/friends,because it will cause a huge problem. I guess the only thing you can do is call them when they are home without leaving a message?

Answer 8

No, i would not take it so personally, people do have lives and you do not know what may be going on. Give it a rest, and find something to do with your time. I think you are being a little sesitive here. They will call you back when they get a free minute.God Bless

Answer 9

I agree with you 100% - it really bothered me for a long time.
I felt like I was the only one who was caring enough to care about my friends and call them just to see how they were doing, etc.
I finally decided to just stop calling. If they want to talk to me they can pick up the phone and call and if not than maybe I'll see them somewhere.
I decided to put my energy into other things and am much happier and don' t worry about it anymore.
Basically, I no longer have time for people who don't have time for me.

Answer 10

You can be angry about anything you wish, just do not allow that anger to flow over into the relationship. Find out politely why they have not called you, it might be a good reason and not worth getting upset about.