Me and this guy (that I'm kind of dating) get along great, I like him and he likes me, we've been (kind of) going out for a few months now and just lately we've been going "public" with it. (I should add that he's one of my best friends) And I think I'm falling in love with him. He's said the "L - word" before but each time he said it, he was drunk. And I didn't say it back . . .well, cuz he was drunk. He dosen't seem to recall saying it (not that I asked him) But he hasn't menitoned anything, and he hasn't said it while he was sober. I don't know whether I should say it back because I don't know whether he really loves me, or if he just said it cuz he was drunk. Should I wait, or should I just say it? Do you think he was telling the truth?
2006-10-11 13:04:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One of the physiological implications of drinking is decreased inhibitions. It takes many forms, including a certain kind of euphoria whereby people express heightened emotions of all kinds. He may very well love you and the liquor may help him to get in touch with that, but I wouldn't count on it for at least two reasons: 1. why would you want to be intimate with someone who can only access his true feelings when inebriated; and, 2. if the "love" he feels is only the result of alcohol, it's probably not love at all, but comfort in the moment.
If he doesn't have what it takes to say it, you're not with a developed person. However, you describe it as "kind of dating", so it doesn't read as if you're too serious about him either. I view it that you should NOT say you love him, unless you do, and then, ONLY once the two of you (BOTH) have decided you are in a committed relationship and want it to move in a particular direction. In other words, if he's not a marriage prospect, why bother to be in love at all? It's obviously not necessary for the relationship to exist at the level it does, and your falling in love with him doesn't mean the relationship is moving to the next level -- it just means you are falling in love with him. Could it be infatuation? Could it be that you are comfortable because he is your best friend? Could be be trying to protect the friendship and concerned that you will be scared away if he declares his true feelings? Or the opposite -- that he does not want it to progress to the next level at this time and that your expression of your feelings will drive him away?
There will be a moment when you notice that he's cooling off, or heating up, about the relationship, and then -- and only then, will it be the time (under these very limited conditions that you have described) to sit him down and have a meaningful -- and honest -- discussion about it, where you want it to go, what you do and don't want to happen (such as not wanting to lose the friendship under any conditions, if that's how you feel), and that you love him. Before you do so, however, you MUST commit to yourself, for your own benefit, that no matter what he says, that your sense of self worth and self esteem will be in check, and that you are capable to recognize your worth regardless of whether he responds in kind. People are often not in the same place at the same time, and their feelings do not grow together at the same rate. Don't let the difference in timing or pace ruin the relationship or ruin you.
Good luck.
2006-10-11 13:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by Rechercher01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Led Zeppelin Immigrant Song Black Dog Friends/Celebration Day What Is and What Should Never Be Whole Lotta Love Dazed and Confused How Many More Times The Rain Song Down By The Seaside No Quarter Since I've Been Loving You Fool In The Rain Nobody's Fault But Mine In The Light encore: Kashmir Stairway To Heaven
2016-03-28 05:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh come now. You seem like a pretty smart girl to me. Do you *really* feel unsure about him being truthful?!
Honestly!
Most people tend to get a bit honest when they've been boozin'.......yes? So, one would assume that you know this chap pretty well. That you've seen the guy buzzed a few times before. What's his behavior? Does he 'confess' truths to some degree?
I'm guessing yes to this question. So, now her you are on the precipice of a love-relationhsip and he's drunk....and talking.....
Nuff said ??
:)
2006-10-11 13:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He probably used being drunk as an excuse to say it to see your reaction, I would either find a romantic moment to say it or say it back next time hes drunk.
2006-10-11 13:06:12 · answer #4 · answered by bradjamison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever some people get drunk they tend to tell the truth. I personally think he does love you and he does remember. But since you didn't say it back he doesn't want to talk about it.
2015-05-24 01:22:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he love you, or doesn't he? Hmmm....
Who cares?
I mean really, who cares? You said he was drunk, right? You really wanna go out with someone who drinks like that? You've heard that drinking and driving don't mix, right? In fact, drinking and NOTHING mix. Nothing good can come of this.
2006-10-11 13:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's so F/N hard about this one? If a guy hangs around with you without you stalking him, he loves you. If you always have to make the first move or drag him 'round like a friggin' whipped puppy, he's just whipped...and doesn't love you. If a guy says, "I love you" that's what it means. Stop trying to read anything else into it. If he didn't love you he wouldn't say it.
2006-10-11 13:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
my husband is the same way cause he dont say it doesnt mean he dont mean it my husband doesnt tell me he love me until he gets drunk. but i know he do we been together 4 21 yrs. i would tell him to see what he say. better yet get a tape recorder or camcorder. next time he get drunk and say the l word record him and play it back to him and see how he react from that
2006-10-11 13:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by e_coly 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
leave him, drunk is never a good sign of anything
2006-10-11 13:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't press the issue he'll say it when he's ready to admit his feelings.
2006-10-11 13:07:15 · answer #10 · answered by J D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋