how do i figure out if a guy (coworker) has a girlfriend?

Question

I don't want to be very direct because he is my coworker, and it could get awkward. Asking other coworkers may also make me a little bit of a gossip target since I am new here. I just happen to find a particular guy here attractive & very nice. We recently had a conversation where my gut said something was there, but it could've been my imagination. He didn't name drop "girlfriend" in the conversation...

I need to get creative here... I don't see him often enough to have a running conversation - and our mutual coworkers are more his friends than mine. If I ask them, they'll just tell him I like him - very high school. Maybe I just need to be patient? I waited 3 weeks to talk to him as it is - so it wouldn't seem so contrived.

I can't just ask - it's a very conservative place with very conservative "rules" about office dating. If he has one, EVERY time I see him for the next 5years he's gonna think "oh thats the girl who likes me" - if you're saying "just ask" for the 2 points - then fine - but i can't use that strategy.

Answer 1

If you can't find out from him somehow (asking, evesdropping, general conversation, etc.), then the next best way is through your coworkers. Find someone that likes to talk/gossip, and start talking about everyone. Don't start with your boy, just start asking about everyone at the office. Eventually move the conversation towards who's married/has kids/is single, etc., and find a way to fit in your boy in the conversation very casually.

I understand not being able to ask directly, it can make things awkward at times. But if the opportunity presents itself, you may want to take it :-)

Answer 2

Girl three weeks is a long time just to hold a conversation. Has anything else happened ? You need to make your presence know. If you find him attractive I am sure others have noticed him as well. You dont want to look up and see him going to lunch with someone else. Office gossip is going to happen regardless. Bring in some donuts for the group and offer him one(just to start a conversation) He knows that your new in the office ask him whats the best place to go for lunch and ask if he would like to go. Pay attention I am sure you will know soon if he has someone.Dont just sit back and wait on things to fall in your lap. There are a lot of single women out here looking for a good man. Girl go and get your man you can still be discrete in the office.

Answer 3

Ha ha, this question rocks. Ok, here is where I start to sound conceited: I have been on the receiving end of this situation several times, and have been called (to my face) the "male office hottie". So now that my head is the size of Texas, maybe I can help. I have noticed many girls use this tactic on me (at least I think it is a tactic, unless I am just that full of myself, ha ha). When you are in a conversation with him, YOU mention his girlfriend. Something like "So, how was your weekend? Oh really? Thats just great...blah blah..(wait for his dense mail brain to process the fact that he now needs to be polite and ask how your weekend was)....Oh, I saw that new movie (insert romantic comedy title here), I loved it., (drumroll please)...you should take our girlfriend to see it, I bet she would love it and you would score a lot of points...maybe she would even agree to go see (insert overtly male testosterone filled action/horror movie title here) with you as a concession" Then...if he is interested, he will say "Oh, I don't have a girlfriend" Bingo. Not only have you found out if he has a girlfriend, but also if he was interested enough in you to want to let you know he was single. Good luck.

Answer 4

Just go up and ask him. Don't worry about your other co-workers. If you would still worry, then talk to the guy alone. As a guy, it wouldn't really make a difference. Of course, I will for a second be slightly amazed by it. But it wouldn't really matter too much to me after that. After all, the guy might be wondering the same about you! Good luck!

Answer 5

Look for signs. See if he flirts or not. Or you could try building up a friendship first and then once you get to know him more, pay attention to how he reacts. More like a friend or more like an open relationship with possibilities waiting. You could even joke around (once you get comfortable enough) and if he ever seems like he's in a hurry or rush, say, "The girlfriend waiting, huh? Don't want to be late?" But use it in a carefree tone. Then he won't be on to you. Plus he'll say something like, "No. I don't have one..." or if he does then well...there's your answer.

Answer 6

Just continue talking to him as you have been. When you guys get to know each other better, he will either mention that he does have one or he will start getting closer to you. If things start to get a little more serious than casual co-worker relationship, you should be direct and ask him. There are guys out there who will persue you even if he is committed to someone else... Good Luck!

Answer 7

It's better to be direct. Stop playing games...grow up. That's why people cheat because everyone's playing head games all the time. If you like the guy just tell him and get it over with, will ya! You nerds bore me!

Answer 8

just stick a joke like " oo you are gonna go on a hot date with your gf tonight?" in a conversation, before u leave..

or

just ask every one what they are doing on a friday night, while he is also around and in the end ask him?

Answer 9

Ask him if you could borrow his mobile phone to make a call & then search his sent/received messages.
But this could be classed as "invasion of privacy".
Ok this is invasion of privacy - so don't do this.

Answer 10

Why don't you make plans...were all of you co-workers can hang out and ask them to bring their other half and see if he brings his girlfriend.