I am sorry if this question offends anyone, I do not mean to be rude at all, I am just too embarassed to ask anyone, even my GP. The thing is I am a single mother of one and last week I walked into my daughters bedroom and saw her rubbing her private area furiously. When I asked her what it was she was doing she told me she was rubbing herself because it felt nice. To say I was shocked is an understatment and I dont know what to do. I thought it was something teenage boys got up to and although I know it is a natural thing to do, I'm a little disturbed about her doing it at this young age and I cannot imagine how she discovered what she is doing. Is this normal? What is the normal age to begin doing this? How did she learn it and what should I do? Please help.
2006-10-11 12:17:00 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Most children that age do explore their little bodies and "play" with themselves. Nobody has to teach them how to do it. I would not call this masturbation and certainly not an orgasm.
If you don't shame her and make a big deal over it, she will soon stop. When and if you find her doing it again, offer to play a favorite game or read a story or something else with her.
Hang in there, mom. If this is the worse thing she ever does, you will be the most fortunate mother in the world.
2006-10-11 12:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by moekittykitty 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter is perfectly normal!
There is nothing to worry about! As others have already said you need to explan that this is a private thing that she can do in her bedroom and not any where else.
It does feel good and almost all people do this in their early years and most of us moved on to other tbings later to return to masturbation in our teens. It is a phase and quite simply when her attention turns to other things she will gradually decrease this behaviour. It can be a sign of boredom but not necessarily so.
It can be a learned a behaviour, if other kids at her pre-school are doing this then she may have seen them or they may have showed her it is no big deal.
Very occasionally this can be a sig that child has been made sexually aware by an adult, in other words she has been abused. Dont presume this and dont question her too vigourously in this direction. Instead have an open and honest communication with her about her body and how it is her body and she owns it and she has dominion over her own body.
Let her know that sometimes adults do this kind of thing to children and those adults are not doing it for the child but rather for themselves and if that is happening or does happen to her she can tell you about it and then you will help her and be here for her.
Then let it go.
It is normal behaviour and it is only if it continues on for extended periods and you suspect it is becoming an obsession that you should worry too much. Do talk to your GP about it and ask his or her advice.
2006-10-11 13:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's totally normal from what I understand. You do need to have a conversation with her telling her that if she is going to touch her privates she needs to do it, well, in private. Don't tell her that it's wrong or bad (because it's not). Don't be embarassed to talk to her pediatrician about, that's probably the best person to ask advice from. Dr. may be able to tell you what you should say to her regarding her "private time" and also, more than anything else reassure you that it's normal. Not all kids discover that at such a young age but being young they don't know much about what they're doing they just know it feels good and if it feels good then why not? Don't freak out though. Good luck and, seriously, call her pediatrician.
2006-10-11 12:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by sarahsmiles1222 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Relax.... This may seem like very odd behavior especially for a girl of your daughters age. I personally think that it is normal, I know that my niece started exploring her parts when she was young, I think 5 or 6.... At any rate, if you think about it a child at that age does things that give them self gradification, they do things that make them feel good. If your daughter has discovered that rubbing herself feels good then she is going to continue doing it. In my opinion I think that one of the worst things a parent could do in your situation is punish her for it. I am sure she will eventually find something else that gives her gradification and when she does I think you will find that the behavior stops or at the very least slows way down. In any event, I have to say I would be more concerned when she hits puberty, if she enjoys the feeling of that type of activity now she is going to really like it at that point in her life. You might find that she will be one of those teens that is interested in sex at an earlier age and then you will have to cross that bridge, but for now I personally would not make a big deal out of it. If it gets out of hand then you probably should contact your doctor, or maybe a behavior therapist. But aside from that just chill its a normal behavior, she just happened to discover it at a younger age then most girls do!
2006-10-11 12:28:02 · answer #4 · answered by funk3742 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's very, very normal. She's discovering her body, and you don't want her to think that any part of her body is bad.
She should be old enough to understand that her private parts are just that... private. Perhaps you've already had the GOOD TOUCH/BAD TOUCH talk with her. If not, this would be a good time. It's okay for her to touch herself when she's alone. There are some things we only do in private and this is one of them.
And if you happen to come into her room when she's exploring, just excuse yourself and tell her you'd like a few minutes with her but you'll wait a few minutes while she goes to the bathroom to wash her hands.
This will reinforce that it's a private event AND that you will respect that privacy, to say nothing of good hygiene.
2006-10-11 12:26:19 · answer #5 · answered by princessmeltdown 7 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I am just wondering if all these people freaking out have kids to begin with.
Kids are insane, they are just realizing what there body is, what it can do, etc. etc. My sister used to gyrate on a pole like a stripper. My sons plays with himself and he has never seen that in real life. I know b/c he has never been with anyone except for my mother or step-mother if he wasn't with me or his dad.
As long as you do not bring a lot of attention to it she will eventually move on to something else. If she does keep doing it for along time then maybe you should go see a doctor about it. Otherwise I wouldn't worry. Don't let these other people scare you.
2006-10-13 11:10:15 · answer #6 · answered by Kelliegh 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what makes you think she's having an orgasm? Just because it feels nice doesn't mean she is climaxing. I have a four year old boy who is always diddling himself. I think it's a normal phase of experimentation... I would let it be unless you see other signs of changed behavior or have any reason to believe that she may be having inappropriate interactions with other children or adults. If you are still concerned then ask your doctor. That's what they're there for.
2006-10-11 12:23:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Aw, I used to do that too. Only I would rub a stuffed animal against it. I didn't know. It just felt good. I had no idea. Dx I don't think she learned it, I think she was just experimenting one day and discovered that she liked the feeling. It's normal.
2006-10-11 14:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is 'normal' and despite what some people on here think it does happen with children even babies.
At that age it's not a sexual based thing, it most likely occurred by accident and was continued simply because like she said 'it felt good'
Here's an article on it and how to handle it.
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerbehavior/11558.html
2006-10-11 12:31:00 · answer #9 · answered by morethanfacevalue 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is more normal that you think, first not sure she is having an orasm but it probably does feel good. She will grow out of this, just encourage her to keep it in her room and that it is private. I know my friends daughter use to do it all the time rub her self with toy her hand you name it. She grew out of it don't fret
2006-10-12 06:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by just wondering 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋