Don't get me wrong,I love & care for my bf greatly but I just know I am not in love with him.He couldn' t be any nicer,he gets me anything I want when he can afford it (he'd spend his last penny on me if I wanted it),he gives me so much attention,he's always calling or texting,he's praises me up to anyone and everyone,he says I'm beautiful all the time (although i'm definately fat, he deserves better),he just honestly couldn't be any better.
BUT I'm not in love with him.I find myself not wanting to kiss him or pulling away,I don't want to hug him for too long and he's getting on my nerves by being so nice so then I just end up mad for no real reason.He knows somethings up but he's so nice to me I just can't bring myself to say anything.
The worst of it is I made him split up with his then gf when he said he wanted to date me because I didn't want to be going behind his gf's back.And he did.Now I feel guilty for how I feel about him now.What do I do?
Good advice appreciated.
2006-10-11 12:16:58 · 0 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What is happening is you found this guy to be a sweet and caring person. You thought that it is exactly what you were looking for...someone who will treat you nice and do things with and for you.
But you did not count on not being attracted to him.
Attraction is not something you choose. You either are or your not. You may like someone very much because of the type of person they are but they just don't fit what it takes to attract you.
From what you say you have come to love your boyfriend but more like a brother and not a lover. If you let that continue it will be disastrous. And if he hasn’t gotten the message yet you will hurt him.
Most women are not attracted to nice guys. They may love them but they are almost never attracted to them. This is what has happened with you. And this is the most exasperating thing for men. They have no idea why you can say you love them but do not find them attractive. It blows our mind.
But it is a fact of life. When men learn this they can begin learning what it really takes to make you attracted to them.
Have your boyfriend go to the link below. If he joins this guys e-mail list he will receive an e-mail from him about once a week. This will be full of examples of what you are talking about and what his advice is about that.
He is there to sell his products but the e-,mails have success stories from guys who have learned his stuff and put to use.
You may find what he has to say, at times, wrong. But guess what he is right on. He learned this the hard way for himself and your boyfriend needs to hear this in the worse way.
If he takes the advice and begins practicing it you will see a remarkable change in him. You may not believe it at first but you may very well become attracted to him.
He clearly needs this even if it is too late for you.
2006-10-11 12:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The only thing you can do is you have a decision within yourself to make. You need to decide whether or not you see yourself staying with him and if that love you have for him will be strong enough to keep you with this guy. If you find yourself unhappy and dont feel that you should be with him because you have love for him but am not in love then its time you be honest with him. Its selfish and unfair of you number one to him because he's done nothing but love you and put you up on a pedal stool and secondly you're being unfair to yourself. By you not telling him how you truly feel you're holding one another back from experiencing what true love is. Even is he is hurt by your honesty he might be mad at you at first but trust me, later on down the line he will respect you as a person. Instead of living this lie you need tell him. He respected you enough to break it off with the past girl so you need to respect him enough to be open and honest and communicate with him. He obviously gives you everything you need physically and materiallistically...but emotionally its not there and you deserve it to yourself and to him to be a woman and step up and be the bigger person. Good luck!
2006-10-11 12:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by bebechinadoll_01 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it seems like hes alittle too clingy. and maybe thats why he gets on your nerves. i know you might feel bad about making him split up for his gf before but, you should really tell him how your really feeling. if he cares for you so much then he should understand and respect your feelings. or you can ask for a break and see where that takes you. theres always a solution so just talk to him. its better than not and just getting more frustrated and it'll get frustrating for him. it seems like he cares for you alot so im sure if you tell him, he will understand and im sure you guys can work something out.
2006-10-11 12:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by j yanks 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well I will say this, If you are not in love with him then try 2 let him go because, u r only making yourself unhappy and if their r children involve u will make them unhappy also so let him go and try being by yourself 4 a little while just til you find out what and who u won't in life
2006-10-11 12:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by htangy22 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that made no sense but watever
2006-10-11 12:19:08 · answer #5 · answered by natrual flirt 3 · 2⤊ 7⤋