Her love's a heartache that's torn me apart.
She watched my heart break right from the start.
She took everything she wanted and now she is gone.
My life is over, empty and cold.
Nothing remains here not even my soul.
Tomorrow I hope I can forget her, but I can't forget her now.
And here comes the rain, falling down on me.
I'm showered in pain, & nothing remains of what I used to be.
And here comes the night as dark as my soul.
There's no end in sight, no shining light, no love to hold.
I must have been dreaming, I must have been blind,
but I never thought she could be so unkind.
2006-10-11 12:12:47 · 21 answers · asked by KIRRA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its really good i like it. most of my poems r sad cuz i dont have anything "happy" 2 write about. ya know what i mean?
2006-10-11 12:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by punk_kikyo_16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last two lines are worth the whole read. Superb.
There are some nice moments, "showered in pain" for example, that become lost in some of the other verbal excesses.
Stylistically, free verse is easier on the poet than the reader. An example is your off/on efforts to rime. This leaves the reader wondering if he/she did or did not miss a word. We have to stop and go back. That breaks the flow.
You are good at expressing your emotions verbally. Kudos.
2006-10-11 12:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice song...but you won't feel that way over time. It usually takes about 1/2 the time you were with someone to get over someone.
Be patient with yourself, do some calming but fun activities and before you know it the pain will be gone.
2006-10-11 12:16:16 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
on account that an exceedingly long term in the past, human beings have looked for the which skill of love. yet even the large philosophers, with their profound definitions, ought to not completely touch its genuine essence. In a survey of four-8 12 months olds, young ones share their perspectives on love.
2016-10-19 05:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heartaches melt away
Tomorrow is always another day
Torn hearts can be sewn
Tears can be washed away
Memories are like steal
But futures are like fire
Guiding you to another day
Hang in there everything will be ok :o)
2006-10-11 12:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by Gypsy Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo
2006-10-11 12:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your heart broken. You need to get a grip. Nothing is that depressing!
2006-10-11 12:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by Cali Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW That's really deep!!! She'll regret having you!!! There are lots of girl who would love you because your so talented! Don't worry. Best of Luck! ~_^
2006-10-11 12:16:01 · answer #8 · answered by strawberry_kiss_gurlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow I cried when I read this ,because I write as well ,and when I write it is how I feel at that moment .this is very touching .I love it ,and it is such a true meaning .could you email this to my email brighteyeslou@yahoo.com .
2006-10-11 12:18:16 · answer #9 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice job, man, you got it right the first time!
2006-10-11 12:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by eyeque195 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋